Kids might be little and look innocent and angelic — at least while they sleep, anyway — but most of them are too young to really have a verbal filter.

But make no mistake.

Most of the time they know exactly what they're saying, and sometimes that brutal honesty is quite the (hilariously) epic burn.

They're really all just wise beyond their years.

Mind Games

She has a point. You should have been more specific.

A Weighty Issue

They pretend they don't really know how much 1,000 pounds really is, but I think that we all know the truth.

Choo Choo

You should be proud! Clearly they are trying to learn about literary devices.

Doggone It

911: What's your emergency? Son: My dad is trying to feed me tube meat. Can you send a pizza my way?

Dirty Deeds

Well, the secret's out. And coincidentally, so is the antibacterial soap.

Knock Knock

I don't know. Figure it out for yourself.

Free Money

He seems to have a talent! Maybe start using that wallet a little bit more.

Just Desserts

You only make that mistake once. Or twice, if you really want the ice cream.

That's Bananas

When life hands you a bunch of savagely ripped open bananas from your ticked off child, make banana bread.

Staying Connected

Yeah, I have no time for small talk. How is the signal here?

A Wrinkle In Time

On the plus side, she didn't call you wrinkly now. But on the other hand, well, gross.

Beauty and the Beast

It's not like she didn't give you a choice. At least one was a female?

Making a List

She's really genius either way. Cheers to that!

Can You Hear Me Now?

It's not what you say, it's what they hear. Which evidently is the complete opposite of what you say.

Deep Cuts

And then cut it diagonally. She owns you.

Arts and Craps

It's just freedom of expression... ...and very, very abstract art.

Speaking of Art...

There's nothing quite like a veiled threat concealed as art to warm the cockles of your broken heart. I wonder if it worked...

Age Is But a Number

And clearly it's a very, very large number to some of the kids out there. But on the plus side, you look great for your age!

Shower Power

It could be worse. She could have said it looked like Mr. Peanut.

Snack Attack

Clearly the sisterly bond runs deep with these two. Sleep with one eye open...

Beer Me

Look Mom. Here's how it's going to go down. Crack that bad boy open and let's get to work.

No Offense

He clearly has compassion for animals. Now your feelings? Not so much.

Hold My Hand

Find and exploit the weakness! YOUR FAVORITE THING IS NOW OVER!

I Think I Cane

That's not awkward or anything. Maybe he's too old to hear?

Fashion Police

She clearly has great fashion sense. But a tolerance for those who don't? Not so much.

Cookie Monster

Friends? Who needs friends when you can have all the cookies? Not her, that's for sure.

An Early Start

They have a point. I mean, you are the one in charge. (Snicker, snicker. Or so you think.)

Time Management

They really couldn't care less if you want a day to sleep in. As you know, it's their world. You're just living in it.


That's not a real thing? I think it is now.

Kitchen Nightmares

At least the little Gordon Ramsay gives you some credit for trying. Bon appetit!