Kids Who Renamed Common Objects Hilarious Things

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Little kids are full of hilarious ideas. They really are little unintentional comedians walking around saying mind-blowingly funny stuff like all the time without realizing it. When kids don’t know or remember the name of something common, they will just make up a new word for it, one that is often way more descriptive, apt, and hilarious than the real one. You know exactly what they’re talking about because their name for that thing makes so much sense.

For example, if you don’t remember the word for rhinoceros, why not call it a battle unicorn? It makes more sense. Automatic toilets, according to kids, are mean toilets because well, they are mean! And aggressive! Ravioli? No. From now on, we call them pasta pockets. Because that! Is! What! They! Are! Kids are geniuses and you won’t be able to get through this list of hilarious times they renamed common objects without giggling.

Let’s face it.

Kids don’t really know what they’re doing. They’ve only been alive for a few years. They don’t know all the things a person is supposed to know yet, like the names of some very common things…

Wet drops of sad

She’s not wrong, and her phrase is way more poetic, so from now on, tears are wet drops of sad. NEXT!

Cold owls

They are birds, and they’re cold… But then again, there are Snowy Owls, so she’s a bit off base.

Halloween eagle

Now this I can get behind. 100 percent, crows are Halloween eagles. I don’t know why we even bothered to come up with another name for them.

Snack holes

I mean, what else do you use your pockets for? Case closed. Can you predict what one kid called gloves?

Happy birthdays

This is so pure and beautiful and also wrong and I hate it. Tampons are the worst.

Book lookers

I love the term “book lookers.” I want a custom denim jacket with “Book Looker” embroidered in huge letters on the back. Someone make that happen for me.

Airplane store

You know, the airplane store! Where you go to buy an airplane! You do spend a lot of money at the airplane store…

Pride Cheerios

This is adorable and perfect, and I think this is a real branding opportunity for Froot Loops.

Mattress curtains

“Mattress curtains” sounds like what a Victorian aristocrat would call bed sheets. “Fetch me my mattress curtains post haste!” I seriously cannot get over these. They just keep getting better and better.

Flamingo witches

Seriously, between flamingo witches and Halloween eagles, I just want to put a bunch of kids in a room and have them rename every species of bird.

Robot stairs

Name one way in which escalators are not robot stairs. I’ll wait. Can’t do it, can you? Because they are robot stairs. Period.

Skeleton burrito

I would be way more down with the idea of being buried if I wasn’t being buried in a coffin but a skeleton burrito.

Potato worms

“Potato worms” maybe don’t sound as appetizing as French fries, but if you call them potato worms, maybe no one will try to steal some from you.

Spicy juice

Do you remember what it was like to experience carbonation for the first time? It was spicy! This kid is totally right. I can’t wait for you to read the next one.

Mean toilets

They are so mean and this is a perfect name for them! Half the time, they start flushing before I’m even up, and they’re so aggressive that they splash water everywhere!

Ice cubies

I’m sorry, this is way too adorable and I cannot allow it because I literally cannot handle the cuteness. It’s too much.

Boops

These boops were made for walking! See? It’s so much more fun to say than “boots.”

Gubble bum

This is way too cute, but I think at like, age 12, it might be time to correct her. Don’t want a grown adult calling it gubble bum.

Porn Cops

On the other hand, Porn Cops is way too funny and I hope that’s what this kid calls Corn Pops forever and ever. If you thought Porn Cops were funny, just wait…

Hand socks

Tell me, what are gloves if not hand socks? I guess mittens are more like hand socks, but the point is, the term fits!

Racecar chicken

I don’t know what it is about kids and birds, but kids come up with the best, funniest names for birds. It’s incredible.

Snow headphones

I feel like they do many those earmuffs that also have headphones in them, so this is really pretty accurate.

Tunnel water

Rivers are pretty much inverted tunnels filled with water, so this kid makes a lot of sense. What can I tell ya?

The stories in my eyes

This is at once super poetic and super creepy! Honestly, the next one is legendary.

Battle unicorn

Of course rhinos are battle unicorns! That’s a perfect name for them!

Pasta pockets

I love ravioli. They are warm and delicious, and the term pasta pocket makes them seem even cozier.

Baby suits

To be fair, you do sort of feel like a little baby when you’re wearing a bathing suit. No? Just me?

Wee woo truck

It’s so true that parents start adopting the language of their small kids. Maybe it’s because their kids are so good at naming things.

Dad panties

Oh no, this one made me cringe! Share this with someone to make them laugh!