The People of Twitter Complained About Babies, and They Did Not Hold Back | 22 Words

Let's face it: Babies suck. They are completely dependent on other people. They can't do anything by themselves. They literally can't even hold their own heads up. It is ridiculous. We have been conditioned to think of babies as adorable, positive additions to anyone's life, but when they are born, their heads aren't even fully formed! I mean, come on with that!

Honestly, babies are going to have to get their crap together before they begin impressing me. The people of Twitter finally decided to blow the lid off the baby conspiracy. They finally stopped pretending that babies are great and starting hilariously and savagely roasting them and their many deficiencies. A serious shout out to Twitter user @charlee_buns for getting the thread going and getting people to finally be honest about how annoying babies are. If any babies are reading this... they are not reading this because babies can't read! OH! Sick burn.

Babies are extremely entitled.

They expect everyone to do everything for them. They cry all the time because they always want something. It was time to do something about it.

This Twitter user just came out and said it.

Babies aren't all they're cracked up to be. Yes, their swoopy hairdos are ridiculous. Next!

Prominent fragrance

Babies smell! People say they like "new baby" smell but they're lying unless they love the smell of spit-up and poo.

Replacements

We have to take care of babies their whole lives, and then all they do is take take take until they completely replace us! That's a bad deal.

No ambition

As far as I can tell, babies are content just to sit around, poop in their diapers, and wait for other people to bring them things. Not cool. Are you with us yet?

Inefficient

Yes! Babies are probably the least efficient products out there. They are literally helpless when they're born.

Stare a lot

Babies sure do stare at you like they're sizing you up and getting ready for a challenge? But they can't.

So much crying

Babies cry constantly. It's a terrible sound, and it's quite barbaric. They should learn to express themselves.

Too clingy

Babies are super clingy, and it's like, "Get your own interests!" Right? Plus, they are literally clingy, like, they often grab onto your hair or your shirt and won't let go.

Faulty alarm system

Babies cry no matter what they need. I wish there were different sounds for different reasons they cry. The next one is so real.

No gas money

Babies get chauffeured all over the place, carried everywhere, rolled in strollers like kings, and they don't even contribute gas money. Rude.

Poor communication skills

You'd think that if they wanted food so badly, they would learn to ask for it specifically. But noooo! They just cry a bunch and you have to try everything you can think of until you finally figure it out.

Bad clappers

I don't understand this! It's like, the one activity they do all the time, and they're terrible at it.

No respect

This is so true. We tiptoe around sleeping babies, but babies don't seem to care when we're trying to get some shut-eye.

Look like aliens

I don't understand why humans evolved in such a way that babies have to be born completely helpless while still looking like grapes that were left out in the sun. The next one might blow your mind. Just saying.

White clothes

Why are so many baby clothes white? They're just going to get dirty. Make them dark colors!

Moochers

All they do is zap up resources and energy, and they don't contribute anything back, except for cuteness, I guess.

Can't chew

Babies are born not knowing how to chew, walk, blow their nose, burp, and a whole host of other very important tasks.

Too many rights

Get it?! They were basically prisoners for nine months. They should not get all the allowances we give them.

Too weak

Again, it's baffling that babies are born without even being self-sufficient enough to hold their own heads up. Babies are selfish, part 21, coming right up!

Cry and whine

When you have a baby, something happens and all of a sudden, it's all about them. Like, you're the one doing all the work.

Eat a lot

All they seem to do is eat and poop but they don't contribute to the food or the diaper budget.

Look like potatoes

All babies look like potatoes. Even the cutest ones look like potatoes. At least potatoes are delicious.

No comebacks

When you insult a baby straight to its face, it will often just laugh and drool. That's not a comeback!

Bad sleepers

Or, if they're not going to sleep, at least don't bother anyone else while they lie there awake. Oh, we're not done yet.

No object permanence

Babies don't understand object permanence. We have to teach them all this basic stuff. Be smarter, babies!

Helpless

Ugh, it takes babies so long to learn how to walk. Until then, we are forced to carry them everywhere. It's rough.

A whole lot of poo

This is a good point! All they're drinking is breast milk or formula for the first several months of their life. What are they pooping out?

Useless in fights

Yeah, they're useless in fights. They're also useless in everything else.

Boring

Oh my god, yes, babies are so boring! Share this with someone who understands that babies need to be put in their place!