Let's face it: Babies suck. They are completely dependent on other people. They can't do anything by themselves. They literally can't even hold their own heads up. It is ridiculous. We have been conditioned to think of babies as adorable, positive additions to anyone's life, but when they are born, their heads aren't even fully formed! I mean, come on with that!
Honestly, babies are going to have to get their crap together before they begin impressing me. The people of Twitter finally decided to blow the lid off the baby conspiracy. They finally stopped pretending that babies are great and starting hilariously and savagely roasting them and their many deficiencies. A serious shout out to Twitter user @charlee_buns for getting the thread going and getting people to finally be honest about how annoying babies are. If any babies are reading this... they are not reading this because babies can't read! OH! Sick burn.
Babies are extremely entitled.They expect everyone to do everything for them. They cry all the time because they always want something. It was time to do something about it.
This Twitter user just came out and said it.
Let’s slander newborns. I don’t like their lil swoop hairdos.— Charlily 💕🍭🎃 (@Charlily 💕🍭🎃)1553368234.0
Prominent fragranceBabies smell! People say they like "new baby" smell but they're lying unless they love the smell of spit-up and poo.
@charlee_buns They're here to replace us. They want to take our jobs and live in our houses and when we die the lit… https://t.co/8AFIkgBV2S— Man_on_a_farm (@Man_on_a_farm)1553395417.0
@charlee_buns They have no hustle or ambition. Steady relying on somebody else.— Silk Shirt Papi 🐻 🇯🇲🏁 (@Silk Shirt Papi 🐻 🇯🇲🏁)1553382548.0
@charlee_buns @Cyndershe For a product that’s brand new they’re not efficient. 0/10 would not recommend— xxx (@xxx)1553393003.0
Stare a lotBabies sure do stare at you like they're sizing you up and getting ready for a challenge? But they can't.
So much crying
@charlee_buns They need to learn how to articulate their needs with words instead of all that damn crying. https://t.co/kCyi1vcW5T— GooglerInChief (@GooglerInChief)1553409797.0
@charlee_buns Too clingy, which messes up the vibe. Act like they gonna die if you leave them alone for a couple days 🙄— .💩 (@.💩)1553394051.0
Faulty alarm systemBabies cry no matter what they need. I wish there were different sounds for different reasons they cry. The next one is so real.
No gas money
@charlee_buns They never have gas money 🙄— Sleeping Kewchie (@Sleeping Kewchie)1553397461.0
Poor communication skills
@charlee_buns Poor communication skills. As demanding as they are.— Bane. (@Bane.)1553415100.0
@charlee_buns they always clapping their hands and no sound comes out. https://t.co/9AXVzG2VDp— Jade Kirsten (@Jade Kirsten)1553436584.0
@charlee_buns They have no respect. I go out my way to make sure I don't wake them up. But when IM sleep, they'll s… https://t.co/a7M7l0Mg6h— Black Lives Matter ✊🏿 (@Black Lives Matter ✊🏿)1553434619.0
Look like aliensI don't understand why humans evolved in such a way that babies have to be born completely helpless while still looking like grapes that were left out in the sun. The next one might blow your mind. Just saying.
@charlee_buns They wear a lot of white for people who don’t do they own laundry— Bomia Gabice 🏆 (@Bomia Gabice 🏆)1553422548.0
@charlee_buns For people who don’t do any work, they sure do sleep a lot. 😡 We’ve got bills???!!!!!— Angry Birdie (@Angry Birdie)1553410013.0
@charlee_buns They don’t even know how to chew. They get brand new teeth and still try to swallow food whole like a… https://t.co/MNyzrzJFdU— Mrs. Mom (@Mrs. Mom)1553383044.0
Too many rights
@charlee_buns They've got too many rights for someone who did 9 months inside— Rjay (@Rjay)1553429193.0
@charlee_buns Other animals drop out and go hunt... If we ain't hold em properly their head might pop off....— The Bamcast Hub 🇯🇲 (@The Bamcast Hub 🇯🇲)1553436422.0
Cry and whine
@charlee_buns All they do is cry and whine all day. Never once asked me about my day. Pshhh the nerve 🙄— Prudencio Logan (@Prudencio Logan)1553437637.0
Eat a lot
@charlee_buns They really eat a lot for someone not chipping in on grocery money. EVERY 4 hours you hungry? 🤨Really?!?!— Tamarra The Aries (@Tamarra The Aries)1553442042.0
Look like potatoes
@charlee_buns @ImTheReasonWhy They all look like potatoes anyway 🤷🏾♀️— Selena (@Selena)1553394143.0
@charlee_buns They never have comebacks LAME— Roxy Martinez (@Roxy Martinez)1553407253.0
@charlee_buns I mean, they should just sleep at least 8 hours per night, like all decent people— Annalisa Conti (@Annalisa Conti)1553401865.0
No object permanence
@charlee_buns bro they all come out defective. how do you not have object permanence? those blithering idiots— siatta (@siatta)1553441836.0
@charlee_buns Can’t stand how helpless they are. Just walk???? It’s not that hard????— houston :) (@houston :))1553456014.0
A whole lot of poo
@charlee_buns A whole lot of poo for creatures on a liquid diet damn 😩— Tailor Swift (@Tailor Swift)1553452726.0
Useless in fights
@charlee_buns Completely useless in fights— Lamont (@Lamont)1553444642.0
@charlee_buns @iamkatori They boring af 😂😂😂😭😭😂— ✨ (@✨)1553391619.0