I was flabbergasted when I found out Ryan Seacrest’s real height!
I almost feel like Kevin Hart’s whole career is predicated on being short. If her were even a little taller, would it be as funny to see him standing next to The Rock?
Classic short guy syndrome — Mark Wahlberg acts tough in all of his movies (and, allegedly, real-life encounters) to make up for the fact that he can’t get on all the rides at Disneyland.
You won’t believe how short the funny guy on the next page is in RL!
And here’s an example of the reverse short guy syndrome — Aziz Ansari seems confident in himself, meaning he doesn’t let his height get him down. Mark Wahlberg should take lessons.
Listen, there are no high requirements for being the Chosen One. When the Dark lord marks you as a baby, granting you a power even he knows not, it’s not like the entire Wizarding World isn’t going to get behind you because you’re under 5’10”.
You might have been too distracted by this next comedian’s crazy personality to even notice his height…
If Jack Black were just a few inches taller, he probably would be a heavy metal superstar (you’ve gotta be tall for people to think you can rock). Instead, he’s a comedy superstar. I honestly have no idea if that’s an upgrade or a downgrade.
Something about Seth Green always made me think he was incredibly tall. Like, is it his lanky frame? It seems like he should be towering over me. If he’s both wiry and short, I worry he might just blow away in a windstorm.
This next celeb looks WAY taller than he actually is…
During his years on The Daily Show, we heard Jon Stewart make tons of jokes at his own expense vis a vis his diminutive stature, and it was funny every single time.
Do you think Ed Sheeran thinks his height is “perfect tonight”?
Sure, you knew this next actor was short, but did you know how short? Keep clicking to find out!
Now, here’s a celebrity whose career would be 1000 percent different if he were taller. For one, he wouldn’t have comically matched up so well with Arnold Schwarzenegger in Twins, and would you honestly buy a tall Penguin?
Gosh, Lil’ Wayne is that short? I mean, it’s not like I ever pictured him as tall per se, but I also can’t imagine him ducking down and hiding in a crowd (maybe because the tattoos make him stand out?).
This next celeb’s height was a complete surprise. He looks taller than that, doesn’t he??
See, to me, 5’8″ feels too tall for Ben Stiller. Between Zoolander and Chas Tennenbaum, Ben Stiller tends to play characters with a lot of short guy energy.
This makes me think that auditioning for American Idol has a height limit of 5’7″, so as to not show up the host. Maybe that’s why I never made it on the show?
(Ehh, it was probably the lack of singing talent, as the judges consistently told me year after year.)
Who would have thought that this next tough guy was such a shrimp?
Really? Rocky is this short? How did my man punch out both Apollo Creed and Clubber Lange and Hulk Hogan when he had to look up at them?
Now, I haven’t listened to a ton of the Jonas Brothers’ stuff, but I will say this about Joe Jonas — he is not that tall.
This next controversial celeb has a huge personality and a surprisingly small inseam.
Doesn’t this just make all the sense in the world? Without something they’re super insecure about — like, say, their height, for example — no one becomes as egotistical as Kanye West.
I bet Simon Cowell’s height was the real reason he left American Idol. If he was purposely hunching during the seasons when he was a judge, I bet sensitive lil’ Ryan Seacrest could handle it. Then one day, he accidentally stands up straight, and BOOM. Guy’s gotta go.
The next star’s height at least makes sense, based on his most iconic role…
You can see why they’d cast him as a hobbit, right? Turns out they didn’t even need any CGI work to make it look like Gandalf was towering over him.
Whoa, Iron Man isn’t even 6 feet tall? You just know that the second Tony Stark got back from Afghanistan and went to work on the mk.2 Iron Man suit, he put in some high-rise heels.
This next celebrity height reveal is straight-up jaw-dropping!
How lucky do you think Fox felt after they’d cast Frankie Muniz to play a middle schooler? The guy was going to stay short enough to play Malcolm his entire life.
Do you think he stays sitting at his piano so long not just because he knows we’re all in the mood for a melody, but because he is afraid to stand up and reveal his true height to the world?
This next rockstar proved that you don’t have to be tall to be a sex symbol.
Ah, here we have another example of anti-short man syndrome. Prince didn’t give one good god damn what anyone thought. Hell, he probably hunched over, just daring someone to call him out on his height.
It seems crazy to think it was so long ago that Michael J. Fox played a high schooler in Family Ties (and then again in Back to the Future), but you’ve got to think his height helped him seem younger than he was.
Keep clicking to discover what shockingly short celeb is married to one of the world’s biggest superstars.
Ever since she and Marc Anthony got married, poor Jennifer Lopez has had to wear flats.
Oh, is Dustin Hoffman a short man? I wouldn’t have guessed that. Although, he doesn’t seem like a tall man either. I can pretty much picture him at any height. Wow… he really is a consummate professional — a good actor never lets his physical traits influence the way the audience thinks about the role.
The R&B singer on the next page is way shorter than you probably thought he was.
I just re-listened to “U Remind Me,” and let me tell you, Usher has the confidence of a man who is at least 5’10.”
Woody Allen is very short. He is also a rotten person. Those things are not correlated, but they are both facts. I’m just here to state the facts.
The next few celebs are not rotten people (as far as I know), but they much, much shorter than they appear to be.
Poor Andrew Lawrence. Imagine growing up with a bunch of 5’8″ guys who are able to call you short.
Tom Cruise has turned making an actor look taller than he is into a cottage industry. There is absolutely a guy who is putting his daughters through college by making wooden apple crates for him to stand on just out of frame.
Click to the next page to find out which celeb made me audibly gasp when I learned his actual height!
Weird, he seemed so tall in High School Musical!
Now that he’s re-entered the public consciousness with The Irishman, we are once again forced to confront the fact that Joe Pesci is a very, very short man.
“Woah, that dude is SHORT!” -You, when you see the next celeb on this list.
The ultimate musical theater actor, Nathan Lane has an incredibly big personality. I wonder if over-compensating for his height had anything to do with that? I’d put my money on no. Not every short guy ends up on Broadway.
Gosh, did the cameras on The Big Bang Theory have a slight up-tilt whenever they were filming Johnny Galecki? At least we can say with confidence that Shelton was tall, right?
This next celebrity’s height will make you look at him in a totally new light.
Okay, I just listened to some Jonas Brothers, and I’ll say this about them — Nick Jonas is not a tall man.
What’s so impressive about Pete Wentz’s 5’6″ stature is that when he does that pop punk jump — you know, what they do when it’s time to hit a big chord right as a chorus kicks in? — he gets really high!
This next celeb is a famous director known for creating mind-blowing sci-fi films. Turns out he’s mind-blowingly short, too!
Oh would you look at that. I didn’t know George Lucas was so short! At least he can add a little height by walking on stacks and stacks of that Star Wars money.
Did you know that, when he was filming The Mighty Ducks, Emilio Estevez had to wear a special hat so the director could tell him apart from the children?
You won’t believe how teensy this next funnyman is…
Here’s what’s so crazy about finding out about Zack Galifinakis being so short — he a lot of times has the frenzied comedic energy of a man two times his height.
Is Emile Hirsch short? Yes. Is he shorter than a lot of his peers in Hollywood? Also yes. Has that held him back in his career at all? Honestly, probably.
Ready to be completely and utterly surprised? Click to the next page.
Now, if the same is true of Al Pacino — if he too has been held down because of his height — there’s a strong chance that a 6’0″ Al Pacino would be in literally every movie made from 1979 until 2013.
Remember a few entries back when we asked if you could imagine a short Penguin, and you answered “of course not”? Well, Jonah Hill was being considered for the Penguin in the upcoming Matt Reeves Batman picture. this at least shows that the guy knows how to pick his disgusting, fish-eating Gotham mob bosses!
This next SNL alum is a secret shorty.
I’m going to tel you a story; a story I assume is true but actually probably isn’t true at all. A young David Spade is at a party, being once again overlooked because of his height. He makes one acidic comment about a jock, everyone at the party notices him, and he develops that wit into the comedic persona we see every time he’s on TV.
Although he’s also appeared in movies like Ocean’s Eleven and Varsity Blues, the only thing you really need to know about Scott Caan for this article is that he was on Entourage. Ain’t nobody tall on Entourage.
You might do a literal double-take when you see how short this next actor is…
Again with the picture-perfect hobbit casting? Martin Freeman assuredly grew up being told he looks like (or at least was the height of) a hobbit, so how easy must it have been for him to slip into the role?
Wait, is this another star of the Big Bang Theory who is also a short little guy? Maybe that tall drink of water Shelton only seems tall by comparison?
This next comedic actor is as hilarious as he is short.
The Community and Hangover star used to be a doctor before he got into acting. You know what else he was before he got into acting? Short.
With all the venom of a short little Bagel Boss guy coursing through his veins, Jackie Earle Haley has turned on his short guy anger to play monstrous characters like Rorschach and Freddy Kreuger.
You’ve definitely seen the character actor on the next page in several films before, but you might not realize how tiny he is in real life.
A character actor appearing in movies like Infamous, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Toby Jones is most famous (to me, at least) for providing the voice of another short lil’ guy — Dobby the House Elf in the Harry Potter series.
To think, one of our most prolific directors is only 5’3″ tall. Do you think that’s why they give directors those super high seats with their names on the back? So they can see over the camera?
Sure, the next iconic actor on this list may be small, but he could still kick all of our butts.
For a short little guy, Jet Li can sure kick some ass. I’ll be honest, I would’ve said I could beat up any dude 5’10” and under before I knew Bruce Lee’s height.
Man, remember Road Trip? Breckin Meyer starred in Road Trip, alongside a man who I would guess is no less than double his height, Tom Green.
If you’re like me, you had a huge crush on the next actor on this list but had no idea how (not so) tall he actually was.
SPOILER ALERT FOR HUNGER GAMES IF YOU FOR SOME REASON HAVEN’T SEEN HUNGER GAMES:
Katniss chooses to be with short little Peeta over the super hunky and presumably tall Gale. Score one for the little guy.
While he’s the star of Sneaky Pete, Avatar, and Saving Private Ryan, I will always know him as Kevin Arnold’s friend from The Wonder Years.
You have to see how short this next popular actor is!
Not only has BD Wong appeared in Jurassic World and Law and Order: SVU, but he also played Hugo Strange on Gotham — another Batman villain with super short guy energy. Does Batman have any tall villains?
After having played Professor X, I think James McAvoy could use his mind powers to make everyone think he’s 5’10”.
This next actor played a beloved sitcom character that was a self-described “short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man”. But just how short is he??
Yes. Yes this makes sense. Jason Alexander must absolutely be 5’5″. That is the maximum — the maximum — height for a man to be considered to be George Costanza.
Is it any surprise that James Franco’s little brother is, himself, very little?
This next one totally threw me for a loop.
Because so much of The West Wing saw characters walking through the hallway next to the objectively tall CJ Craigg, it feels like all the actors were short (Martin Sheen especially though).
Between his role as Lex Luthor in Batman V. Superman and Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network, Jesse Eisenberg sure seems to understand the psyche of guys who reallllllly feel like they have something to prove for some reason. Where do you think that could’ve come from?
Who would have thought that this next comedic actor was that short?!
Honestly, if you had asked me how tall Rob Schneider was, I would’ve guessed 5’3″ exactly. Maybe thinking of him as the annoying “Makin’ Copies” guy makes it seem like he’s little enough to sneak up behind you wherever you are and annoy you.
Aww, look at the little “Uptown Funk” singer! He could almost fit in your right front pocket, singing “uptown funk gon’ give it to ya” so quietly that only you can hear him.