Being a parent is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs there is in the world. They say there's nothing like the love that a parent has for their child - and many people would agree with that statement.
But there's no getting around it - being a parent is hard.
There's the constant worry and anxiety about your child, and not to mention the sheer exhaustion. Raising a human being is a huge deal, and to all parents - I salute you.
Another challenge that comes with parenting is all of the opinions. Everyone has their own style of parenting, but some people think their way is best. Unfortunately, there's a lot of "parent judging" others for how they raise their child.
If you have a son and someone's mentioned off-handedly that they are a "mama's boy" and it's upset you, don't fret! Because experts are actually saying that "mama's boys" are happier and more successful. Keep reading to find out why!
Being a parent is hard.
Anyone have any tips on how help a #teething baby, major help needed here 😩😩😩#momlife #momstruggle— Tola (@Tola)1507337172.0
Y’all, i LOVE my kid, but man would I LOVE a day to myself. Sleeping in, not having to entertain, feed or change a… https://t.co/LlbMJLX72X— Mommy Merlot🍷 (@Mommy Merlot🍷)1550192882.0
Sometimes I purposely put the remote up high so Makenna can’t reach it and mess with the tv.. jokes on me because I… https://t.co/N4XJMHqLDu— Dezaree Lawless (@Dezaree Lawless)1542810602.0
Digital ageEspecially in the age of the internet. There are so many trolls on Instagram and Twitter, leaving nasty comments about the ways people parent their children.
Mind your own businessSure, iPads have made long road trips easier for parents and their antsy children, but raising kids in the digital age where everything is just a click away presents its own problems.
I’m going to a party and didn’t pump before leaving, so now my left boob is double the size of my left. How’s your night going? #momstruggle— crunchwrap supreme (@crunchwrap supreme)1536975655.0
For instance, the age-old term "mama's boy."What exactly is a "mama's boy" by society's standards?
Well, people have a lot to say about what constitutes a "mama's boy."In 2017, Cosmopolitan put out an article entitled "10 Signs He's a Mama's Boy." They claimed that if he can't survive out in the wild, he might be a mama's boy.
BoundariesThe article also said that if he and his mom Snapchat one another, his mom can "never do anything wrong," he's at his parent's house all the time, he's spoiled, and she shows up unannounced, he's a mama's boy.
She's never wrongThey also pointed out that if he thinks his mother can do no wrong, he's a mama's boy.
Grain of saltOf course, it's important to take an article like this with a grain of salt. It's an opinion. A guy who has a great relationship with his mother is a wonderful, amazing thing!
Healthy relationshipBut it's all about balance and healthy boundaries. Like, okay, if he can't do his own laundry and his mom does it for him - one word: no. But that goes for anyone!
Not always goodGenerally, when someone is referred to as a "mama's boy," it's with a negative connotation.
Attachment issuesWhen someone is called a "mama's boy," there's the implication that a man has severe attachment issues with his mother.
Seen as weakIn some cases, "mama's boys" can be seen as "weak." But that feeds into the idea that men should never show any signs of weakness and plays into gender stereotypes and toxic masculinity.
So...what's the deal?So is being a "mama's boy" a good thing or a bad thing? Well, some experts say that it's a very good thing!
Set up for successA 2012 study by Harvard University called "The Grant Study," found that men who had close relationships with their moms performed better at work and in school. They also earned more money.
via: Getty ImagesThe study also found that these men were able to keep Alzheimer's and dementia under control as they grew older.
Correlations to aggression
via: Getty ImagesAnother study that was published in Child Development found that baby boys who did not have a strong, formed relationship with their mother grew up to be more aggressive and destructive.
Anxiety issuesSociologist Dr. Michael Kimmel has written a lot about masculinity. He explains that these boys also grew up to have anxiety and a fear of intimacy in their adult lives.
Even more studies
via: Getty ImagesAt the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, another study was presented that centered on 426 middle school boys in New York City public schools.
What they found
via: Getty ImagesTheir research found that boys who were close to their moms were less likely to find that masculinity meant they had to be "tough, stoic, and self-reliant."
via: Getty ImagesThey also had better grades and had less depression and anxiety.
Not the same with fathersThe research found in this particular study concluded that closeness with their fathers did not have the same effect on the boys.
via: Getty ImagesCarlos Santos, a professor at Arizona State University's School of Social and Family Dynamics, presented the study. Santos found that boys who didn't adhere to masculine stereotypes and who were open emotionally had better rates of mental health during their time in middle school.
Shunning away stereotypes
via: Getty Images"If you look at the effect size of my findings, mother support, and closeness was the most predictive of boys' ability to resist [hypermasculine] stereotypes and therefore predictive of better mental health," Santos explained.
Point of view
via: Getty ImagesTypically, being a "mama's boy" can be seen as a very negative thing. It's often used as an insult rather than any sort of praise.
The good in it
via: Getty ImagesBut, like everything else in the world, it's more layered than that. A boy who has a good, healthy, and strong relationship with his mother is a very positive thing.
The issue with the term
via: Getty ImagesBut there's so much hate around the idea of a "mama's boy." Sure, there's the extreme side of it... Unhealthy attachment to anybody isn't good.
via: Getty ImagesAnd everyone should learn how to be independent! But at the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with having a good relationship with your mom. In fact, it's a great thing! Just...know how to do your own laundry.