29 Manicures That Will Instantly Make Your Skin Crawl | 22 Words

We all love getting pampered every once in a while, right?

Some people opt to get massages. Others head to the mall for some retail therapy (or just buy a bunch of stuff online because — come on — it's the 21st century). But one of the ultimate luxuries is getting a manicure. Being able to sit down, relax, and have someone else trim, shape, and paint your nails for you is probably about as close as most of us will ever get to royalty.

It's also so fun to pick out what color of nail polish and the style of manicure that you want. Should you go with decals? A French tip? Gels? Acrylics? The possibilities are pretty much endless.

HOWEVER.

After doing some poking around on the Internet, I'm beginning to think that maybe the possibilities shouldn't be endless when it comes to manicures.

'Cause there are some that really give me the heebie-jeebies.

They're impressive, sure. I don't want anyone to think I'm throwing shade at the talented nail artists behind these looks. But they're also just straight-up freaky.

Like this one, for instance:

It wasn't enough to have lifelike ears on their fingernails, apparently. They had to add earrings, too.

Grab the fly swatter!

These are equal parts beautiful and horrendous. No, wait. The scale is definitely tipping solidly toward "horrendous." (Still impressive, though!)

Imagine trying to bite these.

I love chocolate! But I hate these.

No butts about it!

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I hear she's up to a pack a day...on her fingers. Not sure whether she smokes actual cigarettes.

This. One. Is. The. Worst.

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It's confirmed, I hate it! At least when I can't sleep tonight, I will know exactly why.

NO. STOP.

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They had to do a manicure for their manicure. I have to imagine it cost five times as much as a standard manicure. Just mathematically speaking.

Is this worse? This is worse, right?

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Ah, yes. I believe this is what they call a mani-pedi.

The eyelashes.

I'm not gonna lie. My first thought upon seeing every single one of these is the same: How do you wipe your butt?

This is my nightmare.

I'm just beginning to understand why people enjoy watching those pimple popping videos. But this? I will never understand this.

Remember that question I asked earlier?

About the butt-wiping The same question applies here.

The dreaded "Hair Nails."

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They say that every time you point a finger, you have three fingers pointing back at you. But what if all of your fingers ARE YOU?

I do not find this appealing.

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I think I'd actually be fine with this if the bananas weren't in the process of being peeled. Something about that just rubs me the wrong way.

Another one?!

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That's right, folks. We're living in a world in which at least two people have chosen to get tiny feet sculpted onto their fingernails. What's that? You don't want to live in that world? I hear ya.

For the succulent enthusiast.

Forget wiping your butt. How do you anything with these?

Please make this stop.

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Have you ever bitten your nails and wished you could stop? I feel like this may be the cure.

Finally!

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An answer to my question. They wipe using the toilet paper on their nails, duh!

And this is how they clean the toilet.

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I like that it wasn't enough to just have a toilet brush on their fingertips. Nah, they had to also add the brown stuff.

You've got ants in your pants?

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That's nothing compared to having ants in your nails. Hey! World? This is inhumane and also it just really skeeves me out. Can you not? Thx.

I love this caption:

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"Imagine with boogers." Thanks, Redditor! Now I can't stop.

At least these are functional.

Nothing's worse than trying to eat when you don't have enough clean silverware. And I'm sure these are always very clean.

Trying to fit in?

I can so clearly hear the sound of these clicking together. Grossly. Is it normal to hear a still image?

Beautiful.

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Most people worry about stubbing their toe on a piece of furniture in the middle of the night. This person's furniture worries about being impaled on these toes.

That's where my keys are!

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Pro: You'll never lose your keys again. Con: Literally everything else.

I heard you like Cheetos.

So I made your nails look like Cheetos! That's how this works, right?

At least this one's useful.

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When they said Swiss army knives come in handy, I didn't realize they meant that they are literally located on your hands.

Want a manicure?

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Of course you do. How about a manicure for your manicure?

I'm lovin' it.

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Just kidding. I am not lovin' it.

Laugh all you want...

But someday, this will be the only thing that can bring back the human race. Trust me. I saw Jurassic Park.

Yup. That's it. That's the worst one.

OK, I'm gonna go question my very existence. Share this with someone who loves getting their nails done!