A lot of people have advice about marriage or relationships. Unfortunately, a lot of that advice is absolute BS. But the internet has unearthed some wisdom about relationships and it's coming from an unlikely source: a dude named Ryan on Twitter. He's laid out six rules for making your relationship work. They seem simple, but holy moly are they important.
The best part of these rules is that it doesn't matter where you are in a relationship: they still apply. Have you been married for 50 years? You can still use the rules to improve your relationship. Are you newly engaged? Take a look at the rules to get your relationship off on the right foot. Just starting a relationship? Make sure you talk about these rules to see if your partner is on the same page.
So what are the rules? You've got to keep reading to find out, but we promise, they're good.
This is our new friend Ryan Stephens.Ryan and his wife Alaina write a blog called Dialed In Men. They give advice about relationships, careers, wellness, and wealth.
I'll be the first to admit, I was skeptical.Advice blogs can go so wrong so quickly, especially when it's just some rando on the internet.
But after reading the advice?Well let's just say we were pleasantly surprised.
So without further ado...Here are the six rules for marital success.
Rule Number OneNo one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you.
But sometimes you need to vent a little bit right?Well, Ryan understands. He says that it's one thing to joke with friends if it's something trivial, but the real heart of the matter is demeaning your partner's character.
The real piece of advice in this rule?If you have a serious problem with your partner then discuss it with them. They're the one who needs to know.
Rule Number TwoOver communicate.
It's easy to assume that your partner knows what you want or need.But it turns out we're not mind-readers. You have to use your mouth to make noises that your partner can understand. Yes, we're talking about words.
There's more to it than just talking AT each other though.You need to give your partner the benefit of the doubt: be charitable in your interpretations of what they say. If you're not sure, then ask!
Rule Number ThreeTry new things together.
Ok but why?Ryan makes a really good point: when you get out of your comfort zone with your partner you grow together.
It's also easier than trying new things alone.When your partner is with you, you've got support. You learn to rely on your partner.
Rule Number FourBe each other's champion.
Champion?Yes! Celebrate your partner's wins. Take them out to dinner for a promotion. When they're having a hard time, get their back. Tackle challenges together. You're a team: act like it.
Rule Number FiveBe grateful for each other's contributions.
Yeah, this one can be tough.Whether your partner is giving you time, chores, money, or anything else, it's important to recognize it. Especially when you live together it's easy to forget to say "thank you." You still should.
Number Five, Subsection AThere's an addendum to this one: don't keep score.
You're not here to win.When you value what your partner brings to the table, it doesn't matter what the points are. What matters is where you're going together.
Rule Number SixWe've made it to the final rule: trust and respect each other. But wait, there's more.
Here's the bonus.You have to trust and respect your partner in front of other people. Ryan lays down this wisdom: "If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse?"
There's a theme behind all of these rules.
via: TwitterMarriage is about being teammates, not soulmates.
It takes real work.But thankfully these rules can help make that work easier and give couples a roadmap.
If you're not sure if these rules are all they're cracked up to be...
via: TwitterTwitter is responding with a TON of evidence. Check it out.
Some people had an addition or two.
via: TwitterLike this great suggestion: tell your partner you like them.
Of all the advice, this is definitely the best we've seen.
via: TwitterHigh five!