Married Couples Are Sharing Things Every Non-Married Couples Should Know Before Tying the Knot

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There’s something about love. The emotional fanfare of finding someone perfect is aspirational, and in spite of many comments to the contrary, plenty of us still seek out marriage as a confirmation of that commitment.

But that’s not to say marriage is easy. In fact, there are many trials and tribulations that couples face. But luckily for the unmarried couples out there, the married amongst us are pretty forthcoming with their advice.

There’s just something about love.

But the searching can make it seem like it’s basically an impossibility. It can be a jungle out there, folks!

Dating is tough.

In fact, romantic life can often just feel like a string of missed opportunities as you search and search for “the one.”

But it’s worth it in the end.

Once you find love, for many of us, it really does make every part of life seem a little bit brighter.

We love love!

Finding the person who’s a perfect fit, and that you can stay committed to for a long time, can make it feel like your life is moving in the right direction.

Showing affection is a lovely thing.

Having someone to hug and kiss (and who hugs and kisses you right back) is a pretty sweet feeling.

And for many, relationships have a logicial conclusion.

Becoming engaged to be married is one way that many choose to express the seriousness of their love for one another.

Marriage is a huge step.

But that doesn’t mean marriage is easy.

But luckily, the internet is here to help.

As one Reddit thread that’s gone viral this week is packed full of fabulous advice from married couples…

So, let’s get into it!

1. “The only thing you should ever hide is presents.”

2. “My wife and I were friends with an astrophysicist, and when we told him we planned on getting married and that we’d love some advice, he said, ‘Stay friends.'”

“At first we felt like that went against the whole idea of stepping things up to marriage, but we were wrong. After a yearlong separation, we started dating again and took his advice — 12 years of friendship.”

3. “You’re going to get annoyed with each other and get mad over silly things.”

“And sometimes you have to realize that you — yes, you — were the a**hole.”

4. “Don’t get married because you ‘have to,’ or because ‘it’s been long enough, we should probably do the thing.'”

“Get married because you know you can live with their quirks for the rest of your life. Get married when you’re ready.”

5. “Love evolves.”

“It’s not always fireworks.”

6. “Find out what ‘I cleaned’ means to your partner.”

“If you’re a clean freak and your partner is a slob, you might have some interesting conversations you never thought you’d have.”

7. “Things will change, so try to grow together rather than grow apart.”

“And do the dishes even after you worked all day, because it’s nice sometimes.”

8. “Talk, and don’t be afraid to hurt each other’s feelings. If your spouse is doing something that annoys you, let them know. If you don’t voice it, it can’t be addressed.”

“Marriages fall apart because couples aren’t prepared to do the work. But marriage isn’t fire-and-forget; you have to take care of it. If you leave your dog at home all day, don’t be upset at it for shitting on the rug.”

9. “Sit down and figure out your finances.”

“And continue to do that every few months.”

10. “Make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to priorities and core values that affect your daily lives.”

“If you aren’t now, you probably won’t be after getting married, either.”

11. “If you’re more interested in the wedding than the idea of being married?”

“You’re not ready to be married.”

12. “The best thing about marriage is that there is always someone there when you come home.”

“The worst part of marriage is that there is always someone there when you come home.”

13. “It’s not your spouse’s job to make you happy — it’s nobody’s job to make you happy.”

“If you’re a depressed person who doesn’t get help, and you marry someone because a part of you thinks that you will be happy if you get married, that rush of endorphins and the newness of the situation might give you enough to be happy in the short term, but eventually the depression will come back once things have settled in, and you’ll see your partner as a failure because you’re married and you’re still not happy. You need to know that nobody in this world is responsible for your happiness but you. Even when you’re married.”

14. “When kids arrive, make sure both of you are on the same page with everything.”

“Kids are the greatest manipulators in the world, and they will break you to pieces if you can’t work together.”

15. “Marriage isn’t always a 50-50 partnership — sometimes it’s 70-30, sometimes it’s 80-20, and sometimes it’s 100-0.”

“But this isn’t a reflection on effort or commitment — that should always be 100%. What this means is that you will sometimes have to work harder than the other for one reason or another.”

16. “You are about to gain an entirely new side to your family.”

“All their drama, all their family events, all their everything, and it’s the most shocking part.”

17. “After being married 20 years, the most important thing I’ve learned is that you need to be ready to marry your partner several times in your lifetime. We all change, sometimes drastically. With children, careers, and aging, your priorities today will not be your priorities tomorrow, and neither will your interests, friends, or politics. But as your partner changes, you need to learn to appreciate and fall in love with the new person they become instead of becoming resentful and hurt.”

“Avoid any thought that begins with, ‘You used to…’ Those words are poison. Instead, focus on love, appreciation, and getting to know your partner over and over. I like to say that so far I’ve married my wife three times!”

18. “Keep dating.”

“Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should stop trying to woo each other. There’s no shame in scheduling a regular date night. Take turns planning it!”

19. “Learn to argue well. It’s going to happen, so learn to voice your concerns and opinions in a constructive way. Learn to listen to theirs, learn to compromise, and then put it behind you. Leave everything in the discussion. It’s OK to be uncomfortable; it’s not OK to carry that with you permanently.”

“Think of it as a relational workout. It’s hard, it’s tough, and it sucks, but you can grow stronger from it. Just don’t get addicted to it!”

20. “Marriage is rarely two strong people — it’s about taking turns being strong for each other.”

“You will both have days when your relationship feels invincible, and there can be months where one of you is depressed or hurting. But you both have to be willing to support each other no matter the circumstances.”

What do you think of this advice?

And to any married reader – what advice would you add to the list?