Men Expose the Dumb Lies They Accidentally Perpetuated for Years

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Have you ever told a little white lie? If you answered “no” to that question, chances are that was a little white lie. Some lies are harmless! They are tiny little untruths that only serve to make your day a little easier, to prevent a much more complicated situation in which you would have to explain a lot. And most of the time, those little white lies are forgotten, and people move on.

However, occasionally, the little white lie persists. Sometimes, the moment to correct it is never quite right or the person you told the lie to just will not let it die! And then there you are, ten years later, using only mugs to drink things because you lied about it to an ex-girlfriend a decade earlier. These 29 stories of tiny lies that got totally out of hand will make you wonder if spewing false information, even the harmless stuff, is ever really worth it.

These stories might make you think twice before you tell that next lie.

These people clearly regret getting into the situations they have, but this is their lives now! There is no coming back from these.

One arm


I was in a long distance relationship with someone I had met studying abroad. I sent my then girlfriend a picture of my family in which my dad’s arm was bent at an odd angle in which it appeared his lower arm/hand was missing. She jokingly asked if he had one arm, and I soberly replied that he did.
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It didn’t come up again until I introduced her to my dad. She was very surprised to find out that he had two arms. I believe the first thing she said to him was “You have TWO ARMS!”
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She confessed to me that she had been very nervous about meeting him and offending him by accidentally staring or something. Honestly, I had no recollection of telling her he had one arm but it sounds exactly like some dumb ass thing I would say.usegao

Mugs forever

In high school, I invited a girl over to my house and offered her something to drink. I brought out two mugs of whatever beverage it was and she asked why I grabbed mugs. The truth was they were the closest thing, but I said deadpan “I only ever drink out of mugs.” Why did I say this? I have no idea, but I had to keep it up the next two years while I dated her. I remember one time I was at her house and grabbed a normal cup for water when her mom said: “I thought you only ever drank out of mugs.” I replied with “uh yeah but I saw this was still dirty so I thought I would clean it off for you” and my dumbass proceeded to hand wash a single cup in silence before putting it back and grabbing a mug. I received three mugs as gifts. I hate mugs now.michael0715

Stranger or friend


On my first day in uni, walking through the freshers fair, someone walked up to me and said: “so you didn’t go to [other uni] then?” Confused me said “no” and we got chatting.

Turns out she thought I was someone she met at that other uni’s open day, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that wasn’t me.

We promptly became incredibly good friends, and she is godmother to my eldest. Still haven’t told her that our friendship was founded on a lie...

sithemadmonkey



Fight Club


First day of college – I meet my new roommate. He hangs a Fight Club poster up and asks me if I like Fight Club. I said yes, of course. We had several conversations over the next couple years (we only lived together for one) about Fight Club and numerous references were made to it. Thing is, I’ve never seen Fight Club.

Eventually, it was just a curiosity thing, how long could I go? I’ve still never seen it even though I know the plot pretty dang well from multiple hour-long conversations about it.doctrgiggles



Twins

I thought it’d be funny to tell a girl from high school that I had a twin, not realizing she had such a huge crush on me that she would have believed anything I said. I did almost nothing to reinforce the lie, yet the last time we spoke, she asked about him. He’s doing great. He’s married just like me…midas_1988

Shaunhamptonson


My daughter (when she was about 7) asked why me and my sister had long names but our brother, Shaun, has a short name. I told her that Shaun was short for Shaunhamptonson and I convinced my brother to go along with it.

Somehow it came up at her primary school and a teacher asked me about it in front of her, so as not to embarrass my daughter, I told the teacher it was true and the lie was then set in stone.

My daughter is 13 now and I know she’ll be really embarrassed if I now tell her the truth, so I’m dreading the day when the truth will out.

aldyevik



Blame it on the brother


Two nights before high school graduation I was out with some friends and my dad let me drive his new truck. We were out by a river drinking beer and avoiding the cops.
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End of the night I’m parked a little weird and when I go to back up my front end drops down and I put a dent in the bottom of the truck. My dad didn’t notice for six months, sadly during that time my brother died.
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When my dad did finally notice I blamed it on my dead brother. That was in 1994, I told my dad a few years back what really happened and he just laughed.
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Sorry Billyschoolsbelly

A little deaf


This is similar to something I did with a colleague.
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I couldn’t hear a word of what he was saying one day (low voice, thick accent) so I made an off-handed comment while pointing to my ear: something like “I’m a bit deaf.”
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Ever since then he speaks very very clearly to me and makes sure I’m looking at him when he talks. It’s been a year and I have no clue how to broach it with him ? –Diplobrocus

Ghostie toasties

Not really my lie but I had to live it. One day at dinner with the family we were eating a salad and I asked my older brother what these crunchy things were on top, because I liked them. My brother told me they are called “ghostie Toasties”. I never questioned it and up through college I was still asking friends if they wanted ghostie Toasties with their salad until someone finally asked me wtf I was talking about. That’s when I realized they are called croutons and I was living a lie thanks to my brother. They still mess with me about it.chrisguy40

First time in the snow


The first time played in snow was when i was 18 when a freak snowstorm hit. But by the time I woke up, it had mostly melted just enough to make a crappy snowman.
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Last winter it snowed again, first time I ever saw it coming down and it was enough for a crunch sound when stepped on. I was with my SO and I told her “oh, is that what snow sounds like when you step in it?” She freaked out and said “IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN SNOW?!”
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For some reason, I said yes, and she said it made her very happy that she got to experience my first snow day with me. I brushed it off and thought “well this makes her happy so I’ll keep it to myself”. But oh man, she has told that story enthusiastically more than once, and how honored she was to experience such a crucial moment in my life. No pun intended, I thought I was in deep and only getting deeper with this lie.
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I recently came clean about it and we had a good laugh (after feeling anxious she was going to feel betrayed). This was after a year of keeping up the lie.BohemianJack

Bald man with goatee


I’ve worked at a seasonal (summer) restaurant job for several years, and my first year there a bald-headed man with a goatee who I did not recognize at all called me out by name and said hello, but I was too afraid to ask who he was so I pretended I clearly knew him.
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It’s been four years now and the conversations have only gotten more specific and detail oriented but I’m in way too deep now to figure out who I’m actually talking to.tronz13

Chocolate milk

This hot girl got sick from drinking soda and only drank chocolate milk at parties so I told her it made me sick too and I only drank chocolate milk. Carried that with me for 15 years.AromaticStyle

Sandwich hug

When my son was a toddler, I was getting some sugar from his momma when he came toddling up and demanded a “sandwich hug”; you know, baby in the middle. I muttered under my breath “little cockblocker”. He proudly calls out “blocka blocka!” and gets his sandwich hug. For the past 10 years, he has been demanding “blocka blocka” hugs, and can’t figure out why I think it is funny.pneuma8828

Motorcycles

In college, my dad paid me $1,000 to never ride a motorcycle. I bought one with the $1,000 he gave me, crashed it, broke my leg, and have maintained with him for almost a decade that I was just riding a longboard down a steep hill.pencesleftnut

Jewish dentist perks


I have a Jewish last name despite being not Jewish at all. Living in Australia I don’t encounter too many other devoted Jews that notice.
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Until I went to a new dentist one day. He assumed I was fully part of the Jewish community and started giving me special treatment. Discounts. Saying goodbye in some Hebrew saying and asking what I was doing over the various Jewish holidays.
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I never explicitly said I was Jewish or wasn’t Jewish I just answered quite neutral because I didn’t want to offend him in his assumptions. It’s been about a few years now and I’ve had to research some sayings and holidays so I know what he’s talking about when I turn up for a check-up.
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I’m in too deep but he is a great dentist.McF**khead

Single as a pringle

That I’m in a healthy/happy relationship so I don’t have to feel bad turning down my coworkers. I’m single as a Pringle.Michael_Negron

“Chris”

About 5 months after moving into a new place, I heard my neighbor call me “Chris”. That is not my name. Not even close. I let it slide because I wasn’t sure. Same neighbor was talking to my wife and referred to me as “Chris” during the convo. She was confused and wasn’t completely sure they meant me. This was in November. We got a Christmas card from them with a gift card for a restaurant…addressed to “Chris and (my wife’s name)”. Fuck. We were stuck. We couldn’t figure out a way to tell them without hurting their feelings or making them feel bad. This went on for 6 years. We went to dinner with them. Shared bbq parties. Went to concerts, sports venues, etc. For 6 years I was Chris to them. I have no f**king idea how it was never brought up by someone else, but they never said a word and neither did we. We moved pretty far away a couple of years ago and lost touch, but every once in a while my wife will give me a birthday card or something made out to “Chris”.kcurtp

Replacement hamster

6 years ago my little girl was having a rough time after finding out her grandmother’s cat had passed away (she was close with the cat). The day she got the word I walked into her room and found her hamster dead. I did not want to add to her stress so I decided to swap it out with a new hamster that looked almost identical before she got home from school.6inchVert

Heart sticker

When my daughter was 2, she liked to give me stickers to wear to work. One day she gave me a little heart sticker, but it must’ve fallen off during the day and I didn’t realize it until she asked me about it as I was picking her up from daycare. I was too cowardly to tell her I lost it, so in a panic I told her a bird swooped down and stole it. I figured that would be the end of it but she asked me about it the whole way home, so I had to elaborate my lie. She’s 4 now and she still asks about it and has a complex about birds stealing her stickers.SethRogen-Not

Corn


When my son was younger, I made a comment to my wife about someone looking up porn. My son overheard me and said, “WHAT’S LOOKING UP CORN?” So… I told him that’s what people do on their computers sometimes.
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… he is 7 now and still thinks one of the main reasons people use a computer is to look at pictures of corn.AstroChops

Barber dad

I have had the same barber since i was a teenager. At the time he was probably around 25. He always asks “how’s your father?” My dad died when I was 3 years old but I always make up a fun little story of me and my imaginary dad doing what I expect fathers do with their sons. My barber is a dad himself now and I’m pretty sure he only started asking this question once he became a father and was just excited about it.[deleted]

Pigeons


In college, for some reason, I told my friends that I was scared of pigeons. I became “That guy”.
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At the end of the year, I slowly had to “work on my fear” until I wasn’t that guy anymore.
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Ugh, I cringe thinking about it.mouzer80

Scottish brogue

My friend went by himself to a bar a few months ago and thought it would be fun to use a Scottish accent and try to convince people he met that he was from Scotland. He’s pretty good at impressions and easily convinced a group of people he met. The problem is that he continued to run into them at the bar and had to continue his lie out of embarrassment. He’s even hung out with a few of them since and is becoming friends with them. He currently is having trouble deciding how to tell them because he actually really likes them and wants to be honest but it’s been way too long that he’s kept up the lie. He even apparently helped one of them when they were having a really rough depressive episode. He stayed in character the whole time…PoopMasterFlexx

Mushrooms

I thoroughly dislike mushrooms. not the psychedelic ones, just regular old eating mushrooms. its a deep and baseless hatred that I’ve carried with me for as long as I can remember. An ex girlfriend was always making fun of me so I made up a story about an abusive babysitter who would force them down my throat giving me mushroom PTSD of sorts. Of course she told my mother who confronted me and I stupidly kept spinning my web of lies to the point that now my mother tells the story in horror and pretty much everybody in my life thinks I was traumatized into hating mushrooms, including my current wife and all of my group of friends.tynanphelan

Shower ghost

One time I woke up for school and started realizing how weird it felt so I check the time and turns out it’s 12:34 AM and I’m in the shower. I quickly get out and go back to bed. My dad then checks on my shower and he sees it’s been used. A few weeks later he tells me he thinks there’s a ghost using my shower. I never told him it was really me for about a decade. He also told all his friends and they believed him.numberonefanboy

Chocolate


That I’m allergic to chocolate.
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I just don’t really like chocolate. I got tired of people asking me how I don’t like it or just in disbelief. So I started telling people I’m allergic and people leave it at that.TechnoAndTacos

Bees

When I was growing up, I was deathly afraid of flying insects and I still hate them, so I told everyone I know that I’m so allergic to bee stings that they will kill me. So that I wouldn’t have to explain myself every time I freak out next to a flying bug.MeyvonNooj

Colorblind


When I first met my ex, she was talking about her (girl) friend who was colorblind. I made an offhand comment about that’s rare, “colorblindness is usually in guys like me”.
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She thought I meant I was colorblind . . . and instead of correcting her right away in front of her friends I somehow decided to let it go and correct her later. Except I forgot.
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Long story short, for two years I had to pretend to have trouble with reds and greens because after I didn’t correct her right away, there was really no good time to.
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I’m glad we broke up because now I can see colors
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Drunken_Economist

Kosher lie


At my first job I jokingly told my manager I was Jewish and couldn’t eat something she brought to a work thing we had bc it had bacon all over it(it really just looked gross).
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I only worked there for a couple years but she’s sent me a Hanukah card every year since I met her. From age 16-28. Every time I see her around at the store or out to dinner in town she always asks if I got her card and I always tell her yes thanks so much!BigMic25
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