Do you put your kids before any other consideration in your life? Or are you more focused on yourself?
One mom sparked a fierce debate on this question this week…
Raya Michelle took to TikTok to share her controversial opinion.
“This might be a hot take and I am ready to fight about it because I’m right,” the mom-of-1 began.
“The order in which my care gets dispersed inside our home, with the people in our home, goes: Me, myself, my partner, my child.”
“‘But Raya, that feels backward, shouldn’t you?!’ No, because if my needs aren’t getting met and I’m not feeling cared for, nobody on this list below me is having a good time,” she explained.
She also said the same rule applies to her partner. He puts himself and his own happiness first because if he “doesn’t feel cared for, nobody is going to have a good time above or below him.”
“I don’t feel like it’s that hard but people keep saying things like ‘my child is the only thing that gives meaning to my life,’ then you need to reassess your life,” she went on.
The video in question has amassed hundreds of thousands of views and over 5,000 comments at the time of writing.
People are totally divided on Michelle’s viewpoint. Is it right to put yourself above your child?
“This still means you’re putting her first?” one person questioned.
“Happy mom makes happy kids! Happy kids make happy moms. It’s a balance. It isn’t about me me me, or them them them 100%. With everything in life, we compromise,” another Facebook commenter added.
“She’s right. A therapist once told me to think of it as the oxygen mask on a plane. We are instructed to put ours on FIRST so that we can breathe and can THEN properly put the mask on our child. Otherwise … Yeah, you can figure it out. You’re welcome!” offered another.
“Yeah, no. You’re a sociopath,” someone else disagreed. “You’re the adult, it doesn’t matter how you’re feeling because your kids’ needs come first, always.”
”My needs are the well-being and happiness of my children. Their smiles brighten my day, I love everyone around me to be happy. I know I put myself at the bottom of the pile but for me, this is Motherhood and I’m blessed to have 3 beautiful, happy children,” another parent claimed.
Where do you stand on this debate?