Interfering in-laws are something everyone struggles with from time to time, whether they mean to or not, they always find a way to push the wrong buttons.
And one TikToker is calling out her kids’ “boomer” grandparents for overstepping their boundaries.
Mom of three, Lisa Pontius, makes TikToks about all things mom-related, from embracing her ‘mom-bod,’ to vaccinating her kids, she’s discussed the lot.
And her latest controversial topic is discussing boundaries with the grandparents.
In one TikTok video that went viral, she said: “In case no one told you, having boundaries is not the same as keeping your kids away from your parents. That’s a whole different relationship dynamic – one that I don’t have.”
She added: “My parents see my kids. My parents see my kids actually kind of a lot; they live pretty close to us. I still have boundaries with my parents in regard to my children.”
She continued: “They still have boundaries with me over when and how often and how much they’re going to watch said grandchildren. We each acknowledge and respect each other’s boundaries. That’s how you have a mutually respectful, adult relationship.”
“Boundaries isn’t a threat. Boundaries isn’t a dirty word. Every adult relationship has boundaries – scratch that – every relationship deserves boundaries, even ones between adults and children. My parents get to see my kids because they respect my boundaries.
“But if someone does get cut off from their grandchildren, it’s a pretty good indicator that they didn’t respect the parent’s boundaries, to begin with!” she said.
Talking to BuzzFeed, Lisa honed in on why she feels it’s important to have boundaries, and why she’s speaking on the topic. She said: “I have always been interested in interpersonal relationships and family structures. I was an anthropology major in college and just always found observing these things fascinating.”
She added: “When I started sharing my life on social media, I included a lot of commentary on motherhood – including the very common struggle with navigating in-law relationships as a new mom.”
Her followers have been pretty vocal about their opinions on what Lisa has to say, and most agree with the mom…
One TikTok user commented on her video: “Why do boomer parents think their kids owe them anything simply because they are parents? We owe our kids everything they owe us nothing.”
A second wrote: “My boundary is that you must call before you come over. My in-laws don’t like this boundary so they never come to see their grandkids.”
However, another wasn’t too impressed with her view, they commented: “I appreciate boundaries that are about mutuality and respect — not about rigid control. I know a woman who sadly cut off Grandmother as punishment. Sad.”
What do you think?