Finding a new job can be nerve-wracking. There are so many factors that you have to nail in order to impress the hiring managers enough to get an offer. You have to find the perfect interview outfit, your answers have to be both concise and thorough, and, let’s not forget the thing that actually gets you the interview in the first place: Your resume. As a former recruiter, I’ve seen some seriously hilarious resumes in my day, the best of which were mass-emailed around the office so we can all enjoy them.
The following 30 HR managers review the most hilarious resumes they’ve ever seen. From ridiculously bad to impressively amazing, these 30 candidates definitely made an impression.
Need more HR hijinks? These people reveal the most insane things they’ve ever witnessed candidates do during job interviews.
Prepare to feel a whole lot better about your own professional accomplishments.
“You bet your sweet patootie I called him in for an interview. The condensed story is that he found a body while walking the grounds at his job checking to make sure all gated areas were secure and clear of debris. When he found the body, he called the police.
He was fired because he broke internal reporting protocol. He was supposed to notify his immediate supervisor and not outside authorities. It was the supervisor’s responsibility to call the police.”–BexieB
“I guess he was watching porn while updating his resume and somehow dragged in a link.
Guess he didn’t proofread it.”–ProbablyNotCorrect
“The letter was hilarious and signed with a clipart paw print. I thought it was great and wanted to bring him in, but the manager for the position wasn’t as crazy about it. I guess the point is, humor in an application can work for you, but it really depends on the person.”–darthnut
“It spawned a long tradition of asking bartenders what they could bench when they applied for a job.”–MoveToStrike
“The boss wanders in with a sly grin and a big folder. It was from a guy who wanted a job. I came over and he started flicking through it: Page after page of sexy cartoons, lots of them furry-type stuff. Boob, butts, lips, figures intertwined, lots of detailed.
So I was like, ‘Well it’s quite good for what it is…but what else is there? Is there another section?’
Nope. Nothing else. Just a folder completely full of semi-pornographic cartoon people and sexy anthropomorphized animals.”-torn-ainbow
“They had a line on their resume that said: ‘Expert in child kidnapping’. I had to at least give them an interview because I understood the intent but the wording was just hilariously unfortunate.
For those seeking clarity, he was an expert in kidnapping cases.
No, he didn’t get the job. Nice guy, but not a good fit for the role.”-Leiawen
“We spent an hour doing it with two colleagues, and it included decrypting a code from a specific frame of Zodiac by David Fincher. It was simply amazing.
Sadly, we weren’t hiring at the time, and she had found another job when we started hiring again.”–Maximelene
“All his resume said was ‘I’ve done warehouse stuff for a long time…I have ‘F- YOU’ tattooed on my forehead. Please let me get in front of you though. I’m the definition of don’t judge a book by the cover.’
Screened the guy, Skyped with him, and had him come in to meet with me. He was great. I let the client know what to expect before sending him on the interview.
They hired him on the spot.”–datacollect_ct
“I found it funny that they listed ‘attention to detail’ as one of their greatest strengths.”–ToughTriflenb
“We received numerous applications from one person, and when we opened the CV attachment expecting to see their experience, it was actually a one page description of how this particular man cheated on his girlfriend multiple times and this was how she was getting back at him, by screwing him out of the positions he was trying to apply for by replacing his CV with this document.
Easily one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my 2 years at this company, we laughed about it for hours.”–SuperSmashOSU
“She told me, ‘If you hire him, you probably shouldn’t trust him with money.’
I threw the application away after she turned around. I was hiring for a sales clerk position at my family bakery.”–Barzilla1911
“I got one like that about three years ago. The resume started off, literally her first paragraph, talking about how ‘Legally Blonde’ was her favorite movie. It was full of doodles in the margins and specifically requested I not contact her previous employers because she felt she was fired unfairly, and instead listed several sorority sisters as references.
She compared herself to Elle Woods several times, explicitly saying any hiring manager who wouldn’t hire her off of this resume was doing so because they couldn’t handle her individuality. I’m honestly not entirely sure if this was a legit resume or some kind of joke. It had almost nothing to do with the job listing.
The job went unfilled. We chose literally no one over this.”–linguotgr
“I received a resume for a sales position from a guy we will call Andrew. The cover letter said:
‘Hey what’s good? I have worked at almost every fast food place around but now it’s time to try something new. I don’t know how to do retail but I’ll learn. I don’t have official sales experience of the legal kind of you know what I mean, but that was a few weeks ago and I’m not like that no more.’
On his resume, he listed the places he worked at and had descriptions such as, ‘take people’s orders and clean up their messes’ and ‘take peoples orders money and give them their s***.’
I thought the resume was submitted as a joke until I looked Andrew up on Facebook and found his profile.”–watching-the-office
“This is for an ESL school, so there were a few from non-native English speakers with really obvious spelling mistakes that should have been caught by any spell-check program.
And then there was the guy who attached like 10 passport photos of himself to the file. Like… why? One maybe, but 10? Why so many? You could just feel the ego dripping out of every sentence in the whole thing, too.”–scarreddragon28
“The crazy thing was he never worked at a place longer than four months, he had a ten-page resume single-spaced with every job he’s had for 30 years and not a single one was longer than four months, and he only had maybe one or two years in that span where he wasn’t employed.
The crazier thing was that we hired him, he was the only one who applied.”–_moonbear
“He had no work history but was like 35-40 years old. I saw he put down that he had a felony armed robbery on his record and had been in prison for most of his adult life.
I was managing the store he once held up.”–JamiesLocks
“One lady had put a headshot of her baby on her resume. I asked my supervisor to give the lady a call, just to find out why she had put a baby picture on her resume. My supervisor was interested in the story too, so he gave her a call and did a bogus phone interview all so he could just end with ‘Oh and by the way…why the baby picture?’
Turned out it was not her baby, it was her, as a baby. She thought it was a cute picture and used it on a resume, applying for a job paying north of 100k a year.”–Alwin_
“I asked him what was up and he just held up a resume, unable to speak through the laughter.
The first comment on the resume said ‘please do not drug test me’.”–cjkawng
“One day he received a pretty strong application. The applicant looked great and they fully intended to ask her to interview until a lie in her application came to light.
One of the achievements that the applicant listed was that she had been head girl at her school. It didn’t really make much difference to her application, but it stood out because by sheer chance it was a local school and my aunt taught at it.
‘Hey guess what,’ my uncle asked when he got home that night.
‘You’ll never guess who has applied to us. It’s [whoever], one of your head girls.’
‘I don’t think so,’ replied my aunt, ‘We don’t have head girls.'”-[deleted]
“‘…due to my divorce, I am once again seeking employment. My wife has gained sole custody of our children due to my alcoholism and domestic violence charges. I have turned to the Lord to seek answers but require money to regain visitation rights of my children and hire a lawyer.’
I mean…points for honesty but maybe too honest for a resume.”–Caliblair
“I had never heard of them, nor had anyone else at work. I invited them for an interview partly out of curiosity, they didn’t recognize me and had very clearly never been in the building before.
We went through the interview, and then told them they should really ask me before using me as a reference.”–SuperDuper125
“‘Ever since I was a young girl, when people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up I replied ‘Darth Vader’. Since the galactic evil icon is not available at the moment, I decided to settle for less and apply for your company.’
It then went on with the normal explanation of why she wanted to work for our company but then, in the end, she finished this way: ‘If they ever take me for Darth Vader I will go as that is my dream job, but be assured, your company will be the last one I destroy with my Death Star.’
We hired her.”–xjmnpmx
“This, of course, raised eyebrows around the office and got people talking, wondering what such a cryptic but intelligent-sounding phrase could mean.
They brought him in for an interview only for him to admit to being a window cleaner for the past three years!”–SuetyFiddle
“We asked how he spent his time during that period; turns out the dude had been running a sizable drug operation, got busted and went to prison.
I asked him to describe the operation and it turns out that’s where he learned some very valuable logistics and managerial skills.”–dori123
“She listed ‘Pet Sitting’ as one of her occupations the proceeded to list the names of like 10 different pets in double spaced bullet points below that which took up about 1/3 of her resume.
“This was for a software job at a tech company that does no fabrication of any kind.
Another enterprising gentleman had his qualifications printed on a custom label and stuck it to a bottle of beer.
I’ve had cash attached to the cover letter twice. One was quite clear that the $20 enclosed was a bribe to skip the interview and go straight to the offer letter.
And 18 times an applicant has felt that the statistics of their video game characters were worthy of inclusion.”–Nadieestaaqui
“He brought a 3-ring binder that was absolutely stuffed with every single award or achievement he’d ever gotten. I mean it, from grade school up. This was a 20-something man who’d graduated from college.
It was bizarre. It had attendance rewards, student of the month, report cards, etc. He wanted to walk us through it. It was not impressive. It was sad.”–fleekyone
“I don’t know what he was in for but before his blank, he had past experience. He seemed like a good fit for the spot.
At the end of the interview, he gave us a list of cars he would consider driving. He wanted the company to buy him a car before he accepted the job offer. We didn’t hire him.”–Jaxro
“Once we had a young woman come in and hand in a typed and printed resume with 4 black, white, and pink playboy bunny logo stickers in each corner of each piece of paper.
She had stuck them on after printing. Bless her.”–[deleted]