Everybody’s gotta eat! Some people are lucky enough to enjoy the name brand foods like Twinkies, Oreos, and Pringles. While others are stuck purchasing off-brand stuff, either to save money or for some other reason.
Most of the time, the off-brand stuff is the same as the on-brand stuff, minus the packaging —I’m looking at you, Kirkland brand alcohol. But there’s always a chance you come about a passable facsimile of what you wish you were eating. As someone who was raised on “bagged cereal” (i.e., Marshmallow Mateys, Coco Roos, and Frosted Mini Spooners), I can say with certainty that off-brand food is fine most of the time.
But the foods on this list are much different. They are not only off-brand; they are off-off-brand. I don’t know anyone brave enough to try them. Do you?
Scandinavian Swimmers
These are exactly like Swedish Fish, only they’re not just from Sweden.
They also hail from Norway and Denmark.
Sonic the Hedgehog Curry
I don’t know who is responsible for this monstrosity, but I’m betting even they have never eaten it.
Nor should they have.
Boba Bola
You know that song? “I’d like to buy the world a Bobe?”
I love that tune.
Borneo.
If you think this is the strangest Oreo knockoff you’ve ever seen, then you better buckle up.
The rest of the list features some that are even worse.
Jive
The gold wrapper.
The red text.
They weren’t even trying with this one.
Mountain View
Something tells me that “View the View” never caught on as an advertising slogan.
HotDognald’s
There’s a lot to unpack, here.
Rather than doing that, I think I’m going to say I’d never eat something from this food trailer and leave it at that.
King Burger
The poster says “King Burger” but the fries say McDonald’s.
Not quite sure what to expect from this place.
Party Chips!
You know what they say!
“Once you open the lid of this chip container, you will continue having fun indefinitely!”
Pizza Roof
As long as they’ll honor my Book-It coupon for a free personal pan pizza, I’m game for giving this place a try.
Nut Master
It’s not like “Nutella” is a particularly appetizing name.
But this is much worse.
Tomato Condiment
Is there some kind of law regarding what ketchup is?
And if so, how does this Tomato Condiment not meet it?
All the off-brand Dr. Peppers
Tag yourself.
I’m Real Dr.
KatKot
Give me a brok!
Give me a brok!
Brok me off a pock of that KatKot Bor!
I Think It Tastes Like Butter
This is great, but it doesn’t compare to my butter substitute of choice: “I assumed that this was butter, but then I learned that I was incorrect in that assumption!”
Prongles
“Once you pop, that’s great!”
Nice try, guys.
Craeam Clan
Saying the name of these cookies makes me feel uncomfortable.
Is that supposed to happen?
Detos and Unbelievable This Is Not Butter
That’s right, we’ve got a 2-for-1 special in this photo!
I would like to try neither of them, please!
Long Yellow Things
Is “banana” a brand name?
How do you bootleg a fruit? (Asking for a friend.)
That Green Nut
Maybe they only want you to think it’s pistachio.
It’s made with a bunch of underripe peanuts.
Orange Brutus
Et tu, Brute?
(This is an off-brand item I would absolutely try based on the clever name.)
OCOP
Well, it has two O’s.
That has to count for something, right?
Pizza Hat
If you’re ever trying to name a restaurant, all you have to do is change a single letter of the name of a well-known restaurant and you’re in business.
Other options: Burger Ring, Subwar, and Wandy’s.
Orio
I’m sure this is some type of chip.
I don’t think it has anything to do with Oreos.
I kind of love it.
Creme Betweens
Here’s yet another Oreo knockoff that makes me more than a little uncomfortable.
Who hurt you?
Tcc Tcc
They’re like Tic Tacs, only completely different.
They make your breath smell worse if you can believe it.
Frosty Corn Flakes
Say what you will about the name, but the tiger on the right looks way cooler than Tony if you ask me.
He must be Tony’s cooler, older cousin.
Okidoki
Oh, did you think we were done with the Oreo knockoffs?
Nope! Here’s another one.
Fanti, Cola, and Esprite.
I imagine Esprite is like Sprite, but somehow more technologically advanced.
Like mail vs email.
All of these cereals
“Sugar Flakes” is the most accurate name for cereal I’ve ever seen
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