There is no harder job in the world than being a parent. Even those people who train their whole lives and climb Mount Everest would say so– I guarantee it. And you have probably read a bunch of articles claiming to have the hacks and the tricks that will make parenting a breeze. Suddenly, you will have all this free time to paint your nails and drink wine! To take trips and settle down with a good book, uninterrupted for hours.
Look, I am not purporting that with this list. I do not believe that if you follow the tricks in this list, suddenly the cloud of parenting responsibilities will lift and suddenly, you will be your old self again, with all the time in the world to binge Friends and order pizza. But these tiny tricks, many of which take minimal effort, might just stop the screaming and the crying and the arguments for like, a split second. And that is what makes them worth it.
We all have to be the bad parent sometimes.
But, if you have some of these hacks in your back pocket, you can trick your kid into thinking you’re being the good parent when you’re actually making them clean the entire house.
Keeping track
“When you go out, color code your brood,” this brilliant mom writes. “Makes it easier to spot them in the crowd.”
Shower pool
If you don’t have a bathtub in your home or the hotel you’re staying in, baby pool it up! It’s easy to take with you, and it will solve that pesky problem.
Out of order
Um, this is brilliant. If you stick an “out of order” sign on a ride, your kids simply can’t ride Thomas the Tank Engine!
He doesn’t work right now!
Sticky window toys
“My toddler was busy for over 30 minutes playing with these window stickers on the plane. Easy to pack, fun for them, and CHEAP!” this parent writes.
Now all you have to do is make sure you get a window seat.
Pool Noodle Buffer
When your toddler is trying out the bed for the first time, prevent roll-offs by using pool noodles as a buffer!
Tape tracks
Use tape to build out roads and cities for your kid to explore with Hot Wheels and remote control cars!
Um, I wish I was still a kid so I could do this.
Ice cream trap
This is an amazing idea! This mom knows what will bring her kids out of the woodwork.
Now she can make them empty the dishwasher!
Yogurt pops
This is the literal easiest way to make a delicious and somewhat healthy treat for your kids that will totally trick them into thinking that they’re having dessert.
Stick yogurt in the freezer and bam! Frozen yogurt.
Backwards shirt
If your kid is complaining about wearing a certain shirt, flip it and claim it’s another shirt.
They’re dumb– and they will believe you.
Ice cube meals
Sometimes kids don’t actually hate the food you’re trying to feed them. Sometimes they’re just cranky and bored.
Try making meals more fun by serving them healthy food in an ice tray!
Lying for the greater good
Whoever said lying was universally bad didn’t have children. Kids don’t know what they like. If you tell them they liked a thing even if they claimed they didn’t, they might like it this time.
It’s a chance you should totally take.
Disconnected headphones
Obviously, this is a great plan.
But, make sure the cord is plugged into something or hidden so you don’t end up looking like the idiot.
Rubberband door locks
This is one of the simplest tricks you can do that will prevent your kids from endangering themselves.
They are young and stupid and don’t know how to do things. They need you.
Rubberband toilet paper
Again, one of the easiest things you can do to prevent young kids from wasting all that toilet paper. It’s a no-brainer.
Sponge leis
If your kid is one of those that likes to run around outside during the summer getting beet red and sweaty, make a necklace out of sponge pieces and soak it in water to keep them cool.
Paint the ground
Oh gosh, a kid could be entertained for hours by “painting” the ground with water, especially if it’s warm out and the water keeps drying.
Slip-proof booties
Use fabric paint or hot glue to make slippers or footie PJs slip-proof.
I could have used these on my socks when I was 4 and ran around the living room. I probably wouldn’t have this scar on my chin if my parents did this.
Drinkable applesauce
I know they make those little drinkable pouches of applesauce now, but you can make the little single-serve cups just as convenient by popping a straw through the wrapper. Voilà!
Story prompt
I love this so much. It gets your kid’s creative juices flowing and it gets them off your back while you’re trying to have your adult time!
Strapped in
When you’re at the grocery store, strap your kid and their drink bottle into the shopping cart seat all at once! This is a genius idea.
Baby bib
Look, sometimes your kid is going to fall asleep on you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to eat.
Make a napkin bib and chow down!
Yogurt paint
If your kid is one of those that can’t help but stick everything in their mouths, make paint out of yogurt and food coloring!
It might smell rank, but at least it’s edible.
Ankle saver
Save your shins and your ankles and your walls by attaching pool noodles to your baby’s walker!
You will thank yourself later.
Snow bricks
If my parent taught me to make igloos with this trick when I was little, I would have been the queen of the neighborhood.
Baby-proof BBQ
Sometimes playpens aren’t about keeping babies in, but rather they can be used to keep babies out. Brilliant.
Vacuum
This is next-level parenting. Unfortunately, this mom undid her hard work by tweeting about it; her older kid found the tweet.
We thank you for your sacrifice.
Sorting game
One of the things I plan to do the most when I have kids is to convince them that cleaning/organizing projects are games.
This is a good one.
Hand on the car
This works with a magnet like this or even just the gas gauge flap.
Tell your kid with a penchant for wandering to play a game where they keep their hand in that spot!
Car seat hack
It’s grim to think about, but this could save lives. Put your kid’s vital info on a tag and attach it to your car seat. If there’s an accident, this info will help rescuers immensely.
Share this list with parents who need some of these hacks in their lives!
