Parents Who Are Total Experts at Throwing Shades

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Being a parent can be a thankless job. You sacrifice your body, your money, and your sanity to bring your children into this world and raise them to be fully functioning adults, and most times they don’t even appreciate what you’ve done for them. Okay, I can’t really understand this from my parent’s perspective, since I don’t have kids yet. But I can assume that it’s the most difficult job in the world.

So maybe that’s why our Moms and Dads are such experts at the low-key burns that seem so effortless but hurt the most. Most of us can remember every back-handed comment our folks have ever said to us, from criticizing our appearance to bringing up past embarrassing moments at the worst possible times to insulting our jobs, friends, relationships, and overall life decisions.

The following parents are shade-throwing experts, and they just might remind you of past “words of encouragement” from your own Ma and Pa.

I can see how this could be a completely unintentional burn, but these items combined make for a pretty terrible care package. Especially since it’s universally known that college care packages are required to contain at least some candy or boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese.

This is a pretty hilarious response, I must admit. Honestly, though, who wasn’t a total nightmare in 7th grade?  

If my children complain about the food that I slave over I’ll be sending them to bed without dinner, guaranteed. This kid should have been happy to have that pea.

There’s nothing like having your own father make fun of how often you get dumped by your boyfriend. Seriously, though, that guy is an “ex” for a reason.  

Hey, maybe your Mom just doesn’t like your decorating style. Not everyone appreciates wicker furniture and wallpapered accent walls.

You know what, Eric? Maybe your sister just applied herself more. But we’re all super impressed with your fancy job and Master’s degree.

In all fairness, it’s pretty much impossible to leave a Sephora without this happening. I once went in for an eyeliner pencil and left with an entirely new set of makeup, four inches of paint on my face and $1,000 bucks less in my bank account.

Leave it to your Dad to remind you of all the completely idiotic things you’ve done throughout your life. My own Father loves to bring up all the times I walked into the screen door as a child.

Hey, at least she included you! But her next Mother’s Day present should probably be a half-dozen framed portraits of yourself so she can place them artfully around her home.

At least she didn’t make you sound pathetic in comparison! Oh wait…

This sounds like something my mother would say in my defense. And I’m okay with that. I could write a damn good story about a deck.

I’m sure there were times during a particularly bad screaming fit where my parents momentarily regretted having kids. But they’ve thankfully never told me that.

How are Moms just so naturally good at being passive-aggressive? Will I just naturally acquire this skill once I become a mother?  

Harsh, Mom. Maybe she’s just dropping subtle hints that it’s time to move out.

Not only is your Mom calling someone else more attractive, but she also apparently has no idea what you look like. That’s some next-level Mom-ing right there.

I don’t think this Mom was trying to insult her daughter, but rather just make a comment about the magical effects of makeup. Not a great delivery, though.

As an incredibly pale ginger, this really hit home for me. The skin on my legs is basically translucent.

You’re not helping things, Dad. But I do appreciate the effort.  

Let’s be real, this waitress was intentionally trying to troll her customers. This poor girl just happened to fall for it.

I think one of the greatest joys for parents is being able to embarrass and shame their children in public. So why would this stop once they become successful adults?

This is both sweet and insulting at the same time. So, basically, classic Mom behavior.

Yet another quote that could have been pulled directly from my own mother. I’m clumsy because of YOU, Mom!

Thanks for the input, Ma. We can’t all be perfect specimens like you.

It’s probably pretty hard for parents to accept that their children have become adults, no matter how old they get. I have a feeling that my Dad will still be reminding me to get an oil change when I’m 50. …wait, how often do cars need oil changes again?

Wow, this Mom is clearly very concerned about her daughter “dying alone”. And it just gets worse.

Thanks for the reminder, Mom. For what it’s worth, I bet you look great in dresses, sweetie.

Nothing like the ‘ol Dad switcheroo! Doesn’t everyone just become a lawyer in order to impress their fathers? What a WASTE!

This sounds like the worst week ever. However, we could probably all stand to do some work on our personalities every now and then, couldn’t we?

Oh, snap! The shade!  

As someone who spent way too much on their wedding, this would probably be a much better use of that money. This daughter should see this as less of an insult and more of a smart financial decision.