Parents Reveal the Crazy Things They Did in High School They'd Never Tell Their Kids | 22 Words

As a parent, you want to raise your children to be kind, honest, hard-working adults who contribute to society and don't make the same stupid mistakes you did. You want them to look at you as an authority figure who's smart and responsible, and there's no better way to set a good example than to behave in a way that you want your kids to emulate. This is especially important when they get to high school.

But the thing is, none of us have been smart and responsible for our entire lives. In fact, most of us have done more than a few things as teens that we'd be horrified if their children ever found out about. (Mine involves a night of drugs, drinking, and one poor, innocent hamster.)

The following 30 people reveal the one thing they did in high school that they'd never want their kids to know about.

After all, teenagers do plenty of dumb stuff on their own. Let's not give them any more dumb ideas, shall we?

"Sneaking out of the house regularly while my parents slept."

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"Now that I'm a parent, I know why they slept so soundly: kids are exhausting." -card_set

"Went through a brief spell of huffing lighter gas from the can."

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"A monumentally stupid thing to do. The mere thought of my own child doing this terrifies me." -InfiniteTypewriters

"I got drunk and laid in the middle of the road humping a tree branch while my equally drunk friend rode a pink tricycle around me until the cops showed up."

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"My dad knew the cop so they sent me home with a 'lesson learned'." -BlueOak777

"My uncle recently told me that when my mother would ask him to babysit my brother and I while her and my dad went on vacations, she would often call him up while he was at our house and ask him to water the pot plants she was growing."

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"To clarify how hilarious this image is to me, I grew up in a very loving, rule-abiding, middle class, extremely normal home. The horrified look on his face when he realized that we didn't already know this about her was funnier than finding out my mom grew and smoked pot while we were young." -Wondercuddles

"I met my daughter's father online at 14, moved 1000mi away from my parents and in with him in 11th grade."

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"Got myself emancipated and finished high school. She will know NONE of this for a very long time." -FalseHope4All

"How much pot I smoked."

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"Befriending random guys in a 7/11 parking lot who had one of those sketchy vans with suede inside and then partying with them a lot cause they bought us booze. We were like 14 and they were probably 20." -kcallz

"I befriended a janitor at a large shopping center and made the mistake of giving him my phone number."

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"I'm a guy and we got along alright so it didn't seem like a problem. But then he started inviting me to football games that he bought tickets for and offering to give me alcohol at his house...

I can't believe I didn't realize at the time what was going on, you'd think that sort of thing is obvious but I just didn't see it until years later.

I'm so glad I never took up one of those offers...who knows what would have happened to me." -DeathGore

"We forced a small, defenseless, sensitive, smart and funny (in retrospect) boy into a trash can. He was covered in spaghetti sauce and red beet salad when he got out."

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"I remember him taking a pause from the yelling and crying, looking me in the eye and asking, 'Why did you do this?'

Not my proudest moment." -Diss1dent

"That I collected my piss in paint buckets in the forest for all 4 years."

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"On the last day of school I mixed some with the cooking oil in the cafeteria, the vice principal's desk drawer (he was awful), my grade 9th geography teacher's desk (she deserved it), and all down the halls." -Spartan1799

"When I was in high school I was the mean kid. I bullied and I hit people."

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"One day I was smacking a kid just for fun. I paralyzed his face for three days. I have never forgiven myself and I don't think I ever will. He's my best friend now and I still apologize to this day." -i_write_lies_

"I was at a boarding school in the (fairly rural) south. I had taken acid with friends in the dorm."

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"We were all suddenly hungry. It was like 2 AM and I knew that the local Waffle House was open. We called in an order for the food and then I realized we had no transportation.

So I stole a maintenance truck with the school's logo on the side and drove the handful of miles to the waffle house, picked up the food and drove back.

I passed a cop who followed me back to school but didn't pull me over. I was probably driving like a crazy person.

The school never found out.

It was unbelievably stupid but I was a legend to the acid crew at the school." -captainanonymouse

"My children will never know I skipped an entire semester of trig in high school to bang my girlfriend in the school auditorium."

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"Oh, and that I blackmailed my teacher to pass that class..." -restorethatshit23

"Had a three-way relationship with two girls and a guy."

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"They all knew about each other and we would sleep together in different threesome couplings where the only constant partner was me. I have no problem telling her that I've been with men and women, but as my kid and a high school student (eventually) just doesn't need to know how her mom got her kink on in high school." -creativexangst

"I stole my mom's credit card, went to the airport in a limo, bought a first-class ticket to Florida, spent a ton of money at the airport shops, got drunk on the airplane, and visited a friend in Florida."

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"My parents had to fly there to get me once they found out where I was." -eileenbunny

"My junior year, we played a rival school in football for their homecoming."

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"I used fertilizer to kill the grass on their football field in the shape of a giant pecker and balls from 20-yard line to 20-yard line." -Krash2000

"I did acid almost every day."

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"My boyfriend could pawn his watch at Johnnies Market for $5 and that would buy us two hits. We would put a bead on our necklace for every hit we took. The necklace was so heavy halfway through my senior year that I couldn't wear it." -rachelmarie7

"Had a geometry teacher who was also a farmer/rancher. He was awful. He clearly hated his job and made it miserable for everyone."

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"One night, my buddies and I decided we'd get even with him. We bought a bunch of pastel spray paint, climbed the fence of his ranch, and found his sheep (like 30 of them). We spray painted every damn sheep on the ranch. They looked like an explosion in an Easter-themed paint factory. It made the local newspaper. Never got caught." -greevous00

"I rode on the top of a train from one station to another."

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"It was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I would never tell my son about that. I will have an honest relationship with him, but there's some stuff that I had better keep to myself. Just so as not to give him any ideas." -dlouisbaker

"I made a couple of tapes with a high school boyfriend."

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"I was young, dumb, and in love, so I thought, 'This is a great idea!' Not proud of it now.

He told me he deleted them later on. I doubt that's completely true. I hope they never ended up on those girlfriend sites because we had a rough break up.

It's just not something I'd ever be comfortable sharing with kids." -Throwaway4716

"Made a water bong out of a garden gnome."

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"The bowl was a wood peg that we hollowed out. Drilled his eye out for a carb. The top of his hat was the mouthpiece. Oh Dopey, how I miss you..." -Lawmonkey14

"I don't want my kids to know that their mom was a loser."

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"I skipped senior skip day. The only dance I went to was my senior Homecoming...to take yearbook pictures.

I never got detention. Although, the guy in charge of detention wrote me a fake slip once so I could see what it looked like. He was my debate coach.

Although these days nerddom does command more respect. I love seeing the look on current high schoolers faces when I tell them that I quit playing Magic when 4th Edition was released.

Maybe there's hope." -jjmoreta

"That I held the monopoly on large house-parties at my high school in my town."

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"I had so many parties that if I didn't have a party on a particular weekend, there usually wasn't anything else going on. On my 18th birthday I had a toga party and literally everyone but two people out of 175+ came in a toga. It was before camera-phones, so there's no surviving photographic evidence of the place, and my mom has since moved away. I drive past the place when I'm in town and wonder if the people that live there now have any idea about some of the stuff that happened there." -mr_midnight

"Aside from the hooking up and the drugs and whatever..."

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"We were out with friends and one of the guys we were with was really annoying me...So I had my now-husband 'hock a loogie' onto his hamburger while he was in the bathroom. Then we watched him eat the sandwich." -TryAnotherPiece

"Grew up in a small town."

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"Went away for college. On a return visit, I went out drinking with friends. Ended up walking by the town cop sleeping in the squad car sitting in the same place he did years before. I snuck over to the passenger side and let the air out of both tires before he woke up." -jshell73

"Me and four or five of my friends started to steal the silverware from the lunchroom...I don't remember why we started or whose idea it was."

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"But, every day after lunch we would each take our knife, fork, and spoon out of the lunchroom and toss them into my pal's car trunk. Seemed pretty innocuous, but we were removing about a dozen pieces a day, or 60-ish pieces a week. After about a month the trunk was actually filling up and it was getting pretty hard to get silverware in the lunchroom. After about three months the trunk was really full and it was impossible to find a fork in the lunchroom. My pal eventually got sick of hauling it around and so we unloaded it all into a series of heavy-duty bags which for some reason ended up at my house. Whereupon my mom (much harassed by my antics) ordered it returned toot suite. We went into school during early morning art and deposited several big hefty-bags of silverware on the vice principal's desk. One of my best memories of high school." -ctimmins

"Lunchtime on the first day of my senior year."

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"Filled a bottle with the remaining liquid and food from that meal. Stuck it inside an empty locker. Fast forward to last day, last bell.

Check bottle. Bulging and leaking. Open and remove lid. Gag. Toss into large crowd. Hear screams of 'Eeeeew!' and 'That smell! Augh!'

Run." -Kataclysm

"Did hard drugs AT school."

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"I would take a small bit of meth in a straw sealed closed. Take a bathroom break during class and cut it open with nail clippers, snort away, and go back to class.

Also, sort of had sex for drugs. He was my friend but sometimes needed the incentive to come bring me some dope.

Straight edge now, and quit all of it by the age of 19." -emergencychick

"The night I met my now-husband, we were at a party, both drinking underage and then I proceeded to get in the car with him (both still drunk) and drive ~30 minutes to drop a friend off who was also too drunk to drive."

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"He claims to this day not to remember the ride home due to his level of intoxication. So dumb." -kthriller

"I was the 'bookie' for a dog-fighting ring from junior through senior years."

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"It was super messed up. One of the Spanish teachers let us host fights in the back yard of one of his rental properties. My wife is a veterinarian, and it would ruin my life if she or my kids found out what a piece of crap teen I was." - [deleted]

"Slept with a 40-year-old man."

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"Oh, also that I ate a very large eraser on a bet for $1 and a can of fruit punch. I don't want them to know that I was ever that dumb." -thrifty917