Welcome to the 2020 Coronavirus games, a place where human decency has gone out the window and the only thing that matters is how much toilet paper you can carry. Since news started to circulate about the virus, people have lost their minds trying to stock up at supermarkets and grocery stores. Shelves are empty, fights have broken out, and workers are just so tired.
We’re sharing the highlights of the games with you here today: from a video of women literally ripping toilet paper from each other’s hands to workers getting creative. Watch the masses line up outside of stores. See the races as people run to the paper products aisle. It’s going to get wild y’all because people turn into absolute doofuses when they’re scared. New events can be added at any moment.
Without further ado, we’re ready for the starting gun. On your mark, get set, and let the games begin!
We are not doing that. Let’s be honest: coronavirus has made us all a little bit crazy, and few places have seen as much of it as supermarkets. These poor grocery workers had to get in the middle of a fist-fight over toilet paper.
But you would be wrong because there’s going to be a LOT of toilet paper fights in this list. People love to wipe their butts.
No seriously. Those are actual cops guarding actual toilet paper. That is how bonkers the world has gone.
I do not want to hear this scream ever again. People have gone bananas.
Because even when fists aren’t flying people are going buckwild panic buying. It’s like Black Friday every day of the week.
How much are you all pooping? Because if you need that much TP you have problems other than the coronavirus.
People are lining up outside stores before open, trying to get in and snag some precious paper products. Was this what we imagined the Apocalypse would look like?
Have we all turned into apes? Do we not know how to take things off of shelves without spilling everywhere? Were we not raised by mothers who said “clean up after yourselves,”?
They’re the ones who are hoarding the supplies. These people can’t even fit all their toilet paper into their car. Are they making toilet paper children to keep them company?
No matter how bad it gets none of us will ever be crazy enough to buy “carrot and butter bean” soup. When that happens we know the world is over.
This gentleman has decided he needs enough bread to fuel a small army. Of course 90% of it is going to go bad before he can eat it, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that he’s surrounded by carbs.
This is all mine and no one else can have any of it. No I will not use all of it. You still cannot have it.
Which is why this aerial view of people mobbing a store as it opens is truly overwhelming. I would not want to be one of the employees opening that door.
Not all the panic buying is happening in supermarkets. This line is for a gun store. Yeah…people are afraid they’ll have to fight for access to food and TP.
Sure it’s wild when people get into fights at the grocery, but it’s downright terrifying that we’ve already reached the stage of people committing armed robbery to get toilet paper.
You may not be thinking in your right mind. Seriously. Stop and put it back.
Look closely and when you see it you’ll know.
Which is why dressing like a Marvel superhero undercover is the only solution. This will clearly keep you safe! Hoodies are medically approved.
They’re not. Stay six feet away from people.
She might be joking, but it’s not the worst idea ever. Definitely better than hoodie man.
Do they truly have no idea how much toilet paper they go through on a regular basis? Or maybe they’re just preparing for their quarantine diets of frozen pizzzas.
Honestly, I’d rather starve to death than wait in line that long. This is putting Disneyworld to shame.
Imagine this happening in the paper products aisle and emptiness in the produce section. Calm down everyone.
But how do you expect this to pan out? You never get off the rice, she never stops grabbing the rice? It’s a rice standoff.
I don’t even think I could lift two of these bags at once, so kudos to this fear-powered strength.
You can only have two rolls of toilet paper, but you do get a complimentary mariachi band. I’m not sure if that’s the music I would have chosen as “soothing” but it’s still delightful.
They have to deal with the madness somehow, and, much like the Titanic, they will go down with the ship.
But honestly I’m rooting for this lady. That’s what canes are truly for.
Fun fact: Nyquil will not save you. Staying home will save you.
Because there’s no other explanation for bulk buying water. Pro-tip: you can turn on the faucet and this cool wet stuff comes out and you can drink it. Works well.
I’m sure this man’s wife is pretty thrilled by his decision to eat nothing but beans for a week straight.
Let’s all take a moment of silence for this poor woman.
Hey, that’s not toilet paper!
In fact, you couldn’t use any of that as toilet paper even if you were desperate!
At this point, why not just invest in a full hazmat suit?
Oh wait, they’re probably all sold out on Amazon…
I still don’t understand why toilet paper is the one product that people think they can’t live without.
All these TP hoarders are going to have to figure out how to make a delicious toilet paper casserole once their food supply runs out.
Looking for something to make the woman in your life feel extra special?
Costco has got you covered.
Yes, this brand of toilet paper of actually called “Corona”.
I’m not sure I would trust it…
As much as you may be tempted, please refrain from bringing your firearms to the supermarket.
Isn’t grocery shopping scary enough already these days?
This is the most depressing episode of Supermarket Sweep ever.
The Walmart Licker has been caught!
And not only caught but charged with making a ‘terrorist threat’.
So if you’re thinking of doing something this idiotic, here’s some advice: Don’t.
What did I just say?!
Why on EARTH would anyone think that this would be a good idea??
Did you ever think you’d live to see the day when grocery store cashiers were encased in protective glass?
It’s an eerie sight, but sadly, a necessary one.
These kinds of situations really bring out the best in people, don’t they?
Can you leave some soup for the rest of us, Karen?
It’s not all about YOU.
So at this point, we’re competing with other people for rice while forced to stand outside in the elements for hours on end?
Since when did life turn into one giant game of Survivor?
Okay, so this guy might be going a bit overboard with these penalties, but I agree that there should be some kind of punishment for this type of behavior.
Public shaming is a good place to start.
When someone is taken out of a grocery store in a stretcher after a fight over toilet paper, you know something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Only the best types of people try to take advantage of others during a global emergency.
I know this recording was installed to promote safety and help to stop the spread, but I can’t help but think that it sounds like something out of a dystopian sci-fi movie.
It’s tough to even get through this video, so I’m sure it was brutal for everyone around this woman to actually experience what happened here.
Yes, she tried to call 911 over a billing dispute.
And yes, she then started spitting and coughing on people when she didn’t get her way.
What a peach!
I don’t really know what’s going on here, but I admire this person’s commitment to safety.
I never thought I’d relate to The Great Cornholio on such a deeply personal level.
These are strange times we’re living in, friends.
I suppose the saying goes. “No shirt, no shoes, no service”.
There’s nothing in there about pants at all!
Is it just me, or does this look like a still out of The Walking Dead?
Although, to be honest, Walmart wouldn’t be the worst place to hide out during a zombie apocalypse.
No socks? Too bad!
Sick of annoying bugs? You shouldn’t be outside anyway, remember?
Just fill up your cart with food and guns and be on your way!
I’d say we should all start wearing plague masks at this point, but who am I kidding?
They’re probably all sold out on Amazon already.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Who am I to judge?
I understand this person’s frustration and worry that people aren’t taking this seriously, I really do.
But couldn’t we all use a bit of whimsy during such a dark and difficult time?
If you’re going to the trouble of putting on gloves and masks, why would you just throw them in the parking lot instead of disposing of them properly?
What’s the point?
So this just solidifies the fact that we’ve basically reached the sinking ship scene in Titanic, right?
Maybe I’m alone on this, but if we’re going to be stuck inside for the unforeseeable future, maybe we shouldn’t be stuffing ourselves with sugary treats the entire time.
I’m not saying I’m not doing that, I’m just saying maybe we shouldn’t be doing that.
It’s actually not such a bad idea.
Just as long as that’s a clean, unused plunger, of course…
The only solution is to fight it out. That’s what everyone else appears to be doing.
And then fill it completely with toilet paper. This will make you seem like a good and prepared person, not a total douchebag.
All the cool kids are doing it. The best method to hoard toilet paper is to get your hands on the industrial size carts.
Where dat toilet paper? Can someone please find me some toilet paper? It’s no surprise that people are starting to get a little bit weird in their search.
The fashions are definitely getting pretty out there, but this is far from the weirdest outfit we’ve found.
What is this price gouging? $40 for disinfectant spray? I’ll take the corona, thanks.
It’s technically not in the supermarkets madness, but it’s still complete madness.
Yeah, that’s just piles of meat that someone bought and tossed. How useful.
Why would you buy so much and simply toss it? What kind of a horrifying hoarder are you?
A lot of wasted food thrown away. Sights like this are truly infuriating for the people going to shop and seeing nothing on the shelves.
Waiting in line for 40 minutes does not entitle you to panic buying. Sorry.
Stay safe, don’t get infected, don’t panic buy. And if you want to you can have a cool bandolier too.
If it doesn’t stay in the cart without you holding it there, it’s too much.