Christmastime is here! Isn’t that wonderful?! Well, for kids it most certainly is. They get to wear their favorite pajamas, go to sleep, and wake up to a magical winter wonderland, a tree surrounded by presents, and decorations and lights all over the whole house.
For parents and adults without kids, though, Christmas is a different story. If you are a parent, Christmas means fighting with people in the Target parking lot, racing to get the last Lego set or box of string lights, waiting in huge lines, lugging a dying tree into your house, cleaning and cooking and wrapping and exhausting yourself.
If you are an adult without kids, it is on you to make Christmas what you want it to be. That can be great, but it can also be lonely, and not as full of cheer as you want it to be. Regardless of their situation, adults deserve Christmas gifts just as much as kids do. What they wished for might be a little different.
Whether you’re a parent, a sad adult, or a mall Santa (the only three kinds of adults there are), you might be feeling a bit stressed out this Christmas.
We understand. You deserve a gift! But adults don’t want toys as kids do.
What do adults want for Christmas? Well, they’re about to tell you.
Pots and pans
Heck yes! I don’t know what it is, but after two months of using brand new pots and pans, they look like I’ve had them for centuries.
Maybe I’m buying the cheap stuff.
Uninterrupted sleep
She clarifies in the next tweet that she obviously meant uninterrupted.
Who wishes for an interrupted nights’ sleep other than an insane person?
Christmas spirits
I like the way this person thinks!
This is the kind of Christmas spirit I can get on board with.
Unlimited coffee cup
Wouldn’t it be magical if you had a coffee cup that refilled itself every time you finished?
That’s what the world needs.
Around the world vacation
Dream big, folks! This hashtag game knows no boundaries of jobs or responsibilities.
You think about that vacation you’ve always wanted.
Time machine
This is a tall order, but again, this hashtag game doesn’t rely on the laws of time and space!
We could all use a time machine once in a while!
A pony
Look, some dreams never die. Many little girls who want ponies grow up to be adult women who want ponies.
That’s the way it is.
Published book
Now hey, this is a great goal! It’s one of those presents that like, you as a person have to work really hard for, but then the payoff is so huge that it’s like a present from someone else!
One bill payment
Grown-ups just want money. We want to be able to pay our bills and then maybe go out to eat once in a while.
Just give us money.
Peace and quiet
Honestly, amen.
Adults get very little of this during this time of year, especially if they’re parents.
Low gas prices
To see gas prices like these would be a Christmas miracle.
I want to live in a world where it doesn’t cost $50 every time I fill up my car.
Housekeeper
Oh my goodness, someone else to clean your house?! Yes, please.
Especially if he has a butt like Mr. Clean’s.
Student loan forgiveness
The powers that be could put on their Christmas angel hats and become literal life-savers by eliminating student loan debt this Christmas.
Come on, guys. Be a pal.
Unlimited naps
Unlimited naps would be nice, but honestly, I would like the ability to take a regular number of naps.
I’m so bad at napping.
Cutlery
This is asking for something you need for the holidays, not something you want.
Just buy yourself some forks and let other people buy you cool stuff.
Hair growth
Um, who made this GIF?
I need to know who made this GIF because I have to give them a hug.
Squatty Potty
As someone who recently got a Squatty Potty in her life, let me tell you, it does its job. If you know what I mean.
January
You are in luck, my man, because believe it or not, a mere six days after Christmas, it becomes January!
Every year! I know! Amazing!
Reading hour
Oh yes, this is also what I want.
It’s so hard to choose between reading and like, doing what I need to do like eating and working. I need more time for reading!
Kid-free vacation
Sometimes it can feel like a vacation to get to go to the grocery store alone, but then you remember that you’re doing a chore. You need a real vacation!
New job
All we want to do is to be able to work and earn money and live our lives!
Why is it so hard to find a job?
Wine cooler
I think this can be arranged way more easily than you think it can. Share this with someone in your life, and I bet they’ll make it happen.
House payments
Seriously, it help us with our future.
That’s all we want.
Monocle
Mr. Peanut even took part in the fun! Seems like his vision is going, but I guess that makes sense. He’s pretty old by now.
Better body
Look, none of us are as young as we used to be. I say we keep eating Christmas cookies and embrace the chunk!
Clean house
This would be a dream come true. If this happened to me for real, I might have to pinch myself a few times to make sure I was really awake.
Taxes done
Look, dude, Santa is a giver of gifts, but he’s not an accountant.
I don’t know if you want the big guy doing your taxes.
Puppy pile
Oh yes, this is it. This is the pinnacle of possible Christmas gifts.
One pile of puppies please.
New president
Amen.
Share this with an adult who’s struggling through the Christmas season!
