People Are Up in Arms Thinking Starbucks' Holiday Cups Are Pushing the Gay Agenda. Can You Tell Why? | 22 Words

It's been a rough week for conservative coffee lovers.

First, people started smashing their Keurig coffeemakers to bits because the company pulled their ads from Sean Hannity's show after he defended a pedophile (don't spend too much time trying to make sense of that series events, for there is none to be made).

And now, Starbucks' cups are pushing the gay agenda. Apparently.

If you haven't had your morning coffee yet, you might want to grab a cup before diving into this story, 'cause it's a doozy.

For reasons that those of us with fully-functioning frontal lobes will never quite understand, people were really pissed about the Starbucks holiday cups last year.

Why? Because they were all red. That means Starbucks was waging a war on Christmas. Obviously. (Again, don't spend too much time trying to figure that one out. It's a bunch of baloney.)

As if an all-red coffee cup wasn't enough, Starbucks then took to slitting polar bears' throats.

Sure, they were cookies, but anyone who has a war on Christmas probably also has a war on polar bears. That's just how it works, folks.

This year, Starbucks has a new cup. And with a new cup comes new controversy. Here's an ad Starbucks ran to announce their holiday-themed drinking vessel.

Just as a reminder, we're talking about a cup, here. OK? Just wanted to make sure you're aware of the world we're living in. The one where a cup can be controversial. OK. Let's continue.

In case you missed it, the ad features two women holding hands at Starbucks.

The general consensus is that the women are in love with each other. And some people have a problem with that.

Guys. It's just two people holding hands.

And that's what has people up in arms (get it?). Because you know... they could be gay hands. The response has been as vitriolic as it is uninformed. Here's what people are saying...

Here's a very well-reasoned explanation as to why some people are very upset about the Starbucks cup:

Just kidding, it's garbage. Although we appreciate the very clear call to action at the end of the tweet. "Ban!" There's just no misinterpreting that message.

While some people are freaking out about the "gay" cups, the rest of us are like:

Come on, dudes. Leave Starbucks alone. They're not attacking Christmas, and they're not "pushing the gay agenda." They're selling overpriced, over-roasted coffee. Ban them for that, if anything.

This whole thing has just become exhausting. Are we seriously complaining about mittened hands on coffee cups now?

For real? Like, for real? That's a thing we're doing? Because there is so much more to be angry about these days. A pedophile is running for a Senate seat! A sexual assaulter is in the Oval Office! Blake Shelton was voted Sexiest Man Alive! But we're gonna complain about mittens. Cool.

Also? There is no gay agenda.

Let's say for a second that those two hands on the Starbucks cups belong to two people of the same sex. That's a message of inclusion. Nothing more, and nothing less. And if you can't behind that, you're on the wrong side of history, friend.

Anyway, we're all looking forward to Starbucks' 2018 holiday cup, which we can only assume will look something like this:

It's boring and completely devoid of any meaning whatsoever. It's the coffee cup this world deserves.