People Expose the Awful Lies They've Told Just to Get Ahead | 22 Words

Have you ever told a lie just to get ahead? One time, in college, I was walking with a friend down the street in Boston and we saw a flattened pigeon on the sidewalk. It was very sad, but we decided to tell our group of friends that my friend had stepped on that pigeon and that it had exploded. They believed us! For years! Later — years later — we were reminiscing about that time we convinced everyone that he'd stepped on a pigeon, and everyone else was like, "Wait, that was a lie?!" They had no idea! We let them believe that my friend murdered a pigeon for several years!

There was very little I personally gained from this lie, I guess, other than a hilarious inside joke, but that's about it. The lies in this list are ones that people told expressly so they could get something out of it. And they're kind of epic.

Nicole Cliffe started off this fascinating thread with an admission of her own:

This lie is, um, kind of a huge deal and I can't believe she actually did that! Luckily, her future husband was very understanding.

Fake bouncer

This is amazing. I bet you could make some real money off of dumb drunk people trying to get into clubs.

Barney

Oh my god. Genius. And evil. These parents are evil geniuses.

Russian

This sounds like a perfectly reasonable lie to commit, however, if I did this, I would be so paranoid that someone would look up my actual birthday and get me in trouble.

"And that's it"

Holy crap, this is impressive. I wonder what the rest of the class was thinking while this kid just stared down their drunk professor.

Fake banker

There are so many fascinating stories like this from the Holocaust and other times of war. They're always incredible to learn.

Forger

This is absolutely genius. I didn't know schools did this, and I would have been too scared to try to forge a note, anyway.

Laundry

It is amazing that her husband took being afraid of the basement as a legitimate excuse to never do laundry. If I tried that, my fiancé would be like, "Welp, guess your clothes are never getting clean."

Ready for commitment

This is amazing. Men are so predictable.

Parents' dog

No one can resist a sob story involving a dog. This is very brilliant. I bet it works like a charm.

Stolen money

Of course, she bought four American Girl dolls with her stolen money. Those dolls were status symbols in the '90s. I get it.

Blink 182

Um, I love this so much, and the specific fact that they wanted to go see Blink 182 as opposed to any other band makes this story even better.

Donut

This is infuriating and brilliant. I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by the way they react to you pretending you don't know very common things.

Tom Petty concert

If there's a lesson here, it is obviously: Exploit foreign exchange students to go see your favorite musical artists in concert.

George Michael

I mean, I bet it was actually a religious experience to see George Michael in concert, so this wasn't a total lie.

Fake mission trip

This is extremely impressive. In another tweet, she explains that her parents still don't know that she lied! She's waiting for the perfect moment to reveal the truth!

Best babysitter

I mean, The Baby-Sitters Club books were basically manuals for how to be the perfect babysitter, so I'm not surprised this worked.

Lying about lying

Whoa. This is lying inception. I don't even know where the lie begins and where it ends.

Stood up

This is definitely something I'm going to steal. I love this so much.

Sundance party

I have so many questions. Chief among them is why did Mitt Romney host a Sundance party? Like, what?

Paper

This is bold. This is bolder than I could ever be. But this is also a genius thing to do.

Married

This is some real commitment just to live in an off-campus apartment. I hope it was a really nice apartment.

"Surprising news"

Wow, the acting job here is incredible! Tears! And she didn't even have to go into details.

Lost cat

I love those moments when somehow, for some reason, you know exactly what to say and you're very smooth. It doesn't happen often (to me, at least).

Strict father

Hey, anything you gotta do to avoid being stalked by the creepy death-obsessed guy!

Amnesia lies

This is bonkers. It seems like something out of a movie! (While You Were Sleeping to be exact. It's basically the plot of that movie.)

Job offer

Heck yes, make them make a decision! To be fair, this won't always work. But if you have nothing to lose, go for it!

Eye exam

I know so many people who lied on their eye exam so they could get glasses when they were little. I never had to lie. My vision was bad by the time I was four years old.

Cab fare

New jeans is the least this person should have gotten for having to deal with that gross dinner.

"Helping out"

Wow, this person has really understanding parents. Awesome. Share this with someone to give them a good laugh!