Merry Christmas you filthy animals. Sure the holiday is over, but judging by the stretch marks on my stomach, the implications of the holiday aren't going to leave us any time soon. So we're just going to keep writing about it, gosh darn it. And honestly, this one is a doozy. This one is like learning that your parents had to have sex in order for you to be born, or that putting a fork in the wall socket isn't a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, or that brain freeze is the leading cause of cancer in men over 50. Bottom line: it hurts.
This is the day that I learned everything from the hit 1990 movie Home Alone is a lie. Not like your average "movie magic" lie. This is like a "your dad telling you he's going out for a pack of cigarettes and only comes back with one so you can't have any" kind of lie. Maybe that's a singular experience. Don't smoke.
Anyway... let me explain.
We know everyone's favorite Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard.
But we also know everyone's second favorite Christmas movie is Home Alone
But what it also has is this dope old black and white movie called Angels with Filthy Souls.
It gave us so many classic lines.
And most importantly...
Not just once...
Other people are apparently coming to this realization too!
My entire childhood, I thought the old timey movie that Kevin watches in Home Alone (Angels With Filthy Souls) was actually an old movie.— Seth Rogen (@Seth Rogen)1545764893.0
And so was Chris Evans!
IT’S NOT???? https://t.co/opPZtnaehs— Chris Evans (@Chris Evans)1545778836.0
But to be fair to Christ, Captain America is like 100 years old, so what do you expect?
Seth Rogen finds the whole thing hilarious.
@ChrisEvans Sorry dude. Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.— Seth Rogen (@Seth Rogen)1545778927.0
And apparently, Chris and I weren't the only ones totally shocked by this revelation.
Like our favorite Viner (RIP) turned YouTuber Thomas Sanders
@ChrisEvans I just found this out too!!— Thomas Sanders (@Thomas Sanders)1545778876.0
People want it to be a real thing.
@MaybeAuthentic @Sethrogen https://t.co/D7gOcOoEAE— Ellie belly (@Ellie belly)1545844256.0
Like this is me right now.
@Sethrogen Whaaaaaaaaaat? https://t.co/I1jsTDHKKq— Kylee Kotyk (@Kylee Kotyk)1545822111.0
And then finally... a breakthrough.
@Sethrogen It's not real. But if you wanted to watch a REAL movie that is similar to the fake one watch "Angels wit… https://t.co/rVMFUeaRW8— Jeniece Roman🇵🇷 (@Jeniece Roman🇵🇷)1545831040.0
And then we have this.
@Sethrogen sure it is. i was watching it over at @iamsteelberg's place the other night https://t.co/XqjYgPJWhE— regular gem (@regular gem)1545940546.0
And there's a poster!
@Sethrogen Damn. Do I have to take down this poster? @IncredibleCulk https://t.co/qRNnOQNNVA— millskube (@millskube)1545954533.0
Apparently we all should have known better.
@Sethrogen Me too, 'til I saw this dude pop up in CURLY SUE the next year ;) https://t.co/uzVuKkP9SG— Gavin Heffernan (@Gavin Heffernan)1545857890.0
I'm also on board with this idea.
@Sethrogen Well Seth get busy! That's your new project . With you @ChrisEvans and @james Franco . Make us happy https://t.co/6BEMdVGGJu— leosimonise (@leosimonise)1545832488.0
Oh, and by the way, Seth is a big fan of these fake-movies-within-movies.
@Sethrogen My entire childhood, I thought the movie in Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (Hold Your Horses: Riding H… https://t.co/abPRXzKOo8— Tyler Michael Robey 🐝 (@Tyler Michael Robey 🐝)1545887898.0
Especially because my heart still feels like this guy's glasses.
@ChrisEvans https://t.co/7hzBME877x— Natasha (@Natasha)1545791235.0
Oh and guess what else. There are two fake movies.
@ChrisEvans In Home Alone 2 there was a sequel called Angels With Even Filthier Souls...— AmplitudeUSA (@AmplitudeUSA)1545792361.0
Today, we are all in a glass case of emotion.
@Sethrogen @ChrisEvans Nooooooooo! I only watched it the other day and thought I must check that movie out! Not to… https://t.co/6Ah3tmTPpW— Lindsey Sharp (@Lindsey Sharp)1545791788.0
People haven't given up. But they are losing hope.
It's been 28 years and still no sign of a full length "Angels With Filthy Souls" movie. I'm starting to lose hope.— Dennis Zickefoose (@Dennis Zickefoose)1545771482.0
Some people are hiding it from their loved ones.
@Sethrogen Lol! Last night I said to my husband, "They really should try and create an "Angels with Filthy Souls" s… https://t.co/1ijF2QNxkS— K.J. Kelley (@K.J. Kelley)1545773013.0
Someone got doubley screwed.
@Sethrogen @ChrisEvans Finding out Santa doesn’t exist and this on the same day!!!!! THANKS FOR RUINING 2019 for me!— Aaron Bidinger (@Aaron Bidinger)1545791739.0
A journalist with the Minesoda Vikings was live-tweeting her watchthrough and hit us with this factoid.
7. They made Angels with Filthy Souls specifically for Home Alone. They literally shot a movie to be played within… https://t.co/U812VP2es8— Courtney Cronin (@Courtney Cronin)1545759764.0