Psst ... wanna hear a secret? Those five words are enough to whet the appetite of just about anyone. "Did you hear about Susie at work?" "Can you believe what your cousin got herself into?" "I know who killed Jeffrey Epstein!" O.K., two out of three ain't bad. (But, seriously, if you know the answer to the last one, text me?"

Sometimes these salacious secrets are about strangers, but they're most often — and juiciest — about people we know: A family member who cheated, another who got caught and spent time in jail, a third who was a spy/assassin? These dark secret confessions from Redditors around the world run the gamut from your usual cheaters and star-crossed lovers to freak accidents and mysterious circumstances.

Think your family is strange? I promise you won't after you get a load of some of these crazy stories.

Two years ago I found out that my Dad had a wife before my Mom.

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She died in a freak accident on their wedding night. She was sleepwalking and fell to her death over the balcony, if anyone was wondering. - PookSpeak

Apparently one of my grand uncles may have been a spy/assassin.

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My mom told us how he kept telling these far fetched stories of missions he supposedly went on, no one believed him, and everyone who knew him said he didn't have any military history. But on the day after he died, a bunch of soldiers came to his house, took the gun he apparently had and a bunch of files. Then over the years, some stuff got declassified and my family noticed how eerily similar they sounded to my great uncle's "far-fetched" tales. - The_Portal_Passer

When I was 17 I went to a high school in a big city.

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There was a different high school like 10 min away. One day, one of my classmates asks me if I got a brother. I was like "Yeah." Cause I do. But he upped and left like 2 years prior to live 4 hours away. Apparently, I had a doppelganger in the other high school. I was just, "eh, alright." Never met or saw the dude. Flash to 15 years later. Mom and I are chatting casually and I bring up that. I joke that dad might have another kid. TURNS OUT, 6 months prior to me being born, Dad left Mom. He shacked up with a different woman for 5 months. Then he came back with his tail between his legs. Chances are, I DO have another brother. - Quilled

My grandfather worked for General Motors after he got out of the Army in WW2 until he retired after about 40+ years.

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While he worked for them he had to fly out to Minnesota every summer essentially and work at the plant there doing whatever the hell he did. When he passed away at the ripe old age of 91 we found out that during his entire time at GM he was actually visiting his secret family in Minnesota. My mother who has 3 other sisters found out the day after he died that he had 4 more girls with a different woman. The general consensus is that he wanted a boy and my grandmother refused to get pregnant after their 4th child (surprisingly this was around the same time when he said his job was making him travel every summer to oversee operations there - shocked). Within a week my grandmother who had been with him since she was 18 passed away in her sleep. I think it was from pure heartache. - Electrician_Magician

Not sure if this counts. I got a 9-month prison sentence for being a naughty boy.

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I gave my brother power of attorney, so he could access my bank account and send me some money while inside. Well, he totally emptied my account, and used the money to fuck off to Thailand where he bought a small bungalow and has been living there now for the last 20 years! You can choose your friends but not your family. Partly my fault because he had screwed over our parents and his friends while in the U.K, had no job and was always sponging money off me. - Dan_Glebitz

My uncle tells the story that when he was a kid, his older brother wanted him to go out hunting with him in the woods near their house.

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They woke up really early, and started walking much deeper into the woods than they usually did, and way off the normal trails they used. My uncle realized his brother was letting him get further and further ahead. He stopped and turned around to see his brother starting to bring the shotgun up in his direction. He asked him what the hell was he doing, his brother said "Oh, I thought I saw something." My uncle decided to go back at that point. Later that week he went back and found a pit that someone had dug a bit further off the trail. He never went anywhere with his brother alone again. Edit: Holy shit, did not expect to see all these responses when I got off from work! OK, to answer some of the questions. Both of them are mom's brothers. The wannabe Cain was a narcissist of the "not letting a silly thing like being married get in the way of his dating life" variety, who decided he had big dreams and bailed on the family (and his wife) when I was a kid and proceeded to OD. Thus, I usually don't think of him as my uncle, because I didn't have a real relationship with him. Not sure why he didn't shoot my uncle - might have wanted it to look more like an accident, or didn't want to look his brother in the eye? For those saying it's just a story - yeah, I can't prove it, since there were only two people there, and one of them is dead now (of the aforementioned OD), but the way that my uncle described it, he was really afraid of his brother and thought he was capable of fratricide. - Thowitawaydave

I wouldn't really say I found out since my dad straight up told me, but my grandfather (my dad's dad) was a drug trafficker.

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He was a poor teenage immigrant already arrange married to his cousin so when he realized an opportunity to make fast money, the dude took it. In like 10 years, he learned like 3 languages so he could build this huge trafficking empire from one side of the country to the other, stashed all the money he made in barrels he buried in the woods somewhere. He ended getting caught and sent to prison for like 10 years when he got out he unburied the money, used it to buy farmland which still supplies income to our family. He was a gaping asshole but gotta give it to him, he was smart. - eddadeniz

I found out from my dad that one of my cousins isn't related to anyone in the family.

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My aunt and her mother used to work at a hospital maternity ward and apparently a woman came in one day and gave birth to him and then left the next day without him. My aunt decided to adopt him, but a few months later the woman showed up again asking where he was. They both lied that he was given up and didn't have a clue where he was. They still haven't told my cousin anything. - Existed_

Both of my mother's parents had affairs without the other's knowledge.

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My grandmother had Parkinson's and in one of her confused states, she told my grandfather that she had an affair. Suffice to say my grandfather was not happy and put her in a home. He then started talking to my mother trying to figure out when it could have happened. He speculated that it happened around the same time he was having his affair, which was around 1966. My mother was shocked, she was born in 1967. So my mother may or may not be related to the man she believed to be her father. - Witchgirl2658

There is strong debate in our family as to whether my aunt fell out of the window of her flat, whether she jumped or was pushed.

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She survived, but with brain damage, and says she can't remember. - Smart-Connection6154

My father tried to kill my mother while she was pregnant with me.

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I found out about this when I was 20. My mom told me in private. She said back then my father had a drinking problem and he would get really violent sometimes. She said something to him one time so he grabbed a knife, pushed her next to an open window and put the knife at her throat. Made her choose between jumping from the 4th floor or get her throat slit. My mom said she cried and begged him to not kill her and think of the unborn baby (me). Some neighbors heard the noise and intervened. They managed to take the knife away from him. She was safe. The police didn't get involved. This was during communist times so back then apparently domestic issues like these were ignored. This was one of the times he was violent with her. My mom is religious and doesn't believe in divorce. They're still together after 45 years. His violent tendencies toned down after me and my brothers were old enough to knock him out if he tried that shit again. I'm the only one in my family besides my mom that knows this happened. I've always had problems with him but I hated him bitterly after my mom told me what happened then and other times as well. I'm not a religious man, but I wish Hell existed just so he could rot in it. - GloryGloryLater

My cousin Danny is actually my uncle Danny.

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My uncle Joe and his wife had a baby and exchanged said baby to my grandparents (Joe's mom and dad) for a car. My uncle Danny has grown up his entire life thinking his grandparents are his birth parents. - rapguysgirlfriend99

Since a lot of these are about murders and rapists, mine is a bit funny.

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We once found a "family photo album" in my wacky aunt's house. Start flipping through the plastic pages and BOOM! Gang bang photos. There had to be like 20-30 people in these photos. It was back in the 80s I'd imagine and everyone was so hairy and ugly. I guess Aunt Jan is part of a swinging community. EDIT: Wow! Thank you, everyone! This is the first time I've gotten a lot of love on here ... It's a funny story only me and my brothers know. We've always considered our Aunt Jan to be very weird, but after seeing that album it all kinda made sense. Nice lady, though. - HankToTheHill

Here goes: My two remaining grandparents, my father's father and my mother's mother, married each other when they were 75.

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This made my mother and father step-brother and step-sister. Since the son of my father's sister (my aunt) is my cousin, and the son of my mother's brother (my uncle) is also my cousin, I became both cousins. I am, therefore, my own cousin. I'll never be alone... - Pigs100

A few years before he passed, my dad and I had a long heart-to-heart, at the end of which he told me he wasn't the one to first sleep with my mom on their honeymoon.

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He caught her in bed with her cousin, with which she was had been in love for a long time. He spoke with their pastor, who told him to forgive and forget. That worked, until 6 years later when he caught her again with the same cousin. He told me he wanted to leave with me but ultimately decided to stay, because he wanted me to have a family. With all that happened in my childhood, and to him (workaholic, diabetes, heart attack), I wish he'd left and been happy instead. - Bassman1976

​I found out that my great-grandpa got away with murder.

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He thought that my great-grandma was cheating on him with her dentist so he went into his office and shot him. He got away with it too and they didn't find out that he did it until he told everybody before he died. EDIT: Since a lot of people are asking if she actually cheated on him ... I don't know. But, considering he was an asshole who she was afraid to leave and he ended up being capable of murder ... probably. - AlexGeekSpeak

My step-grandfather had a completely hidden life in Australia before he met my grandmother.

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He had a family and kids in Australia and faked his death by driving his car off a cliff then moving to America. His kids thought he was dead until my grandmother found out about them and reached out years later. His son actually became a famous comedian over there, and from what I know has a joke he does at his shows about his father faking his death to disconnect from them. - ivydragons

My Uncle didn't have an aneurism stroke spontaneously. (Sorry, I'm not a doctor.)

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He deliberately stopped taking his blood thinners. Dude was 63 with a wife, four kids and 15 grandkids, the oldest of which was 13 and the youngest was not even a year. He was just done. His wife doesn't know, his kids don't know. I only know cause I overheard the family doctor telling my dad. As far as I know, only myself, the doctor and my dad know. - Phranquelyhnne

My great grand uncle (early 1800s) stole a herd of horses from the U.S. Cavalry in Utah.

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He killed three officers in the process. He rebranded them and sold them all before he was caught in Arizona by the Arizona rangers and hanged. - UnholyTerror

Found out recently that my brother - 20 years ago - became a financial advisor.

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He managed my dad's investment portfolio, gambled and lost my dad's entire 401(k), brother got fired from his job, and has been on the run ever since. Explained why he left home so abruptly when I was young. Despite that, my dad never told me nor pressed charges, and still paid for my tuition at private schools/universities. I love you, dad. - khadgerler

Flipped through old photo albums when visiting my grandparents.

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All of a sudden, there are wedding photos of my mom with not my dad (who she divorced and later she married my stepdad). I asked who that was and my Grandma said, "That's for your Mom to tell, not me." Turns out, she had been married before meeting my dad and pretended it never happened. - bulmeurt

My dad's mother and John Wayne Gacy were "pen pals."

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He proposed to her and she agreed to marry him. My dad told me so I started digging on the internet and sure enough, it checked out. Edited to add this was after he was caught being a serial killer. - Whitelle92

When my grandma was little, her school was next to a monastery, so there would always be nuns crossing her way.

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Story goes that she when no one was looking, she'd quickly crouch down, poop in the middle of the street and then hide to watch a poor nun step onto it. Edit: Thanks for the award! I'm sure, my granny would actually giggle about it :) - ghostedygrouch

Great-great-uncle came back from WWII.

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He and his war buddies went out west and enslaved a small reservation to mine turquoise. He became a millionaire until the feds arrested him for no taxes. When he got out of prison, he was a miserable old asshole. Edit: I wish I had more info. He was alive in the early 90s as well as his sister (my great-great-grandma). I'd like to find out more specifics and whatnot. I've seen old pictures of it and he gave a bunch of turquoise jewelry out to his family. - Blue_OG_46

After a 23andMe, my friend realized that his mom had over 150 siblings.

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He had been the product of a eugenics experiment carried out by an ex-nazi doctor in California. He was a fertility expert. Wound up impregnating many women with his own sperm. Sounded like a bullshit story, 'til he started showing me the proof. - teaching-man

This wouldn't normally be a big deal, but it involves my father-in-law who is a very active member/local leader of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon).

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He's somewhat of a genius, so at the start of the pandemic, he built a distillery in his garage to make his own hand sanitizer. Within a few months, he started acting a little strange. One day while explaining the distilling process to me, he gave me one of the bloated pieces of corn in the batch and ate one himself. That's when I realized he wasn't just making hand sanitizer ... he was making and drinking some pretty stout moonshine. This is the same guy that continues to look down on one of his kids for drinking coffee. Wife and adult kids have no clue and continue to blame it on other things (exhaustion, internal imbalance, etc.) - LiftEekwayshun

In the 1930s, my great aunt got pregnant as a result of rape at 14.

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She hid the pregnancy and had the baby in the woods behind the house at night. She then buried the baby and spoke a word of it to nobody until on her deathbed. Oh, and she didn't say if the baby was born alive or not. - SmithRoadBookClub

My mother "supposedly" has a paternal twin.

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My grandmother couldn't handle the thought of two kids so she gave the male child away to someone she knew that was moving away. In a drug-induced rage one night, my grandmother screamed at my mom that she kept the wrong child; it was never mentioned before or after that moment. My mom was roughly 12 at the time. She asked my great-grandmother about it and she knew the boy's name but not where they moved to or who he was living with. My mom actually had met him once but didn't know who he actually was. My grandmother denies it ever happened and my grandfather felt that "surely they'd have had to tell me." I doubt they would have, though. When she was pregnant with me, my mom asked my great-grandmother what my middle name should be: My middle name is actually his middle name. - psychotrshman

I found out that my grandfather's first wife (before my grandma) died of botulism from eating some tomatoes she had canned at home.

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She could have been saved, but he refused to take her to the doctor because the botulism was her "fault." He let her die to teach her a lesson. Edit: They had two kids he left motherless. - Filiaeagricola

A relative tried to poison one of their guests.

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Once I learned about it, it finally sealed the deal for me and forever changed my view on them. They were bonkers anyway but good Lord, that's too much. - VonFelder