It's time we all stop pretending and just admit it: Kids are dumb.
And if you think about it, they kind of should be! After all, they're kids! Their little brains have a lot of learning to do before they grow up and run the world. But until that day, well, they're just not the sharpest tools in the shed.
What's the dumbest thing you remember doing as a child? I once broke my arm after tripping over a bicycle. I wasn't riding the bicycle. It was just on the ground next to me. I also broke an arm after deciding to go on the monkey bars right after eating greasy french fries. One time, my younger siblings and I prepared an entire presentation for our parents that ended in us asking to take an egg from the fridge and try to hatch it so we could have a pet chicken. So yeah. I think I can say with certainty that kids are not typically geniuses.
In a recent Twitter thread, people shared the dumbest things they did as kids, and holy Moses, they did not disappoint. (Well, maybe they disappointed their teachers.)
It started when Twitter user @MotherofDoggons asked people to share the dumbest thing they did as kids.
What’s the dumbest shit you ever did as a kid? My shining moment was when I was like 4? I put floaties on my feet… https://t.co/jHZSPeUOHm— Poké-Mom DOOM (@Poké-Mom DOOM)1544397094.0
A pet bird!
@MotherOfDoggons I found a dead bird during recess and kept it in my pocket for the entire day of school thinking I… https://t.co/TjrXoTt2RN— The King in the North (@The King in the North)1544553316.0
Praying for rain.This person's understanding of the water cycle was clearly rather incomplete. But I admire the effort!
This is horrifying!
@MotherOfDoggons I wasn’t old enough to bake cookies so I’d chew up bread, form it into a cookie, put PB and sprink… https://t.co/mlUf401iWq— Maddie (@Maddie)1544531369.0
@MotherOfDoggons Someone made fun of me crying so I went home and put L’Oreal no tears shampoo in my eyes— You (@You)1544531907.0
Playing with electricity! What could go wrong?
@MotherOfDoggons I once tried to turn an acoustic guitar into an electric guitar by splicing an extension cord and… https://t.co/VvW3ZHTV4F— puppits™ (@puppits™)1544533230.0
@MotherOfDoggons It was cold in our house so I took a smouldering log out of the nearly dead fire in the wood burni… https://t.co/mZdnQzS3Jm— Iphigenia Total Landscaping (@Iphigenia Total Landscaping)1544528279.0
See ya later, alligator!
@MotherOfDoggons My parents were testing Christmas lights in the living room one year. I liked to pretend I was an… https://t.co/RS5QDeYxgY— Alison (Ali) B. (@Alison (Ali) B.)1544556416.0
I want candy.
@MotherOfDoggons To reach the candy cupboard I started a fire by climbing up onto a counter/stove top that had a co… https://t.co/qt9VviZj1C— .H. (@.H.)1544528360.0
Excuse me, What?!If only there were any other way to put out a candle. You know, one that didn't involve a highly flammable object. Oh well!
"Hey the microwave blew up."
@MotherOfDoggons When I was 8 I tried to reheat a sonic grilled cheese deluxe in the microwave. For those of you wh… https://t.co/FoXYL1h26s— New year new strain? Groundbreaking. (@New year new strain? Groundbreaking.)1544543225.0
"The butter is mashed."
@MotherOfDoggons @molly_hammm when I was three I mashed an entire stick of butter on the dining room table in the m… https://t.co/9acdIJ9x7l— broke bitch (@broke bitch)1544560623.0
Nice try.Looks like somebody missed the segment on Sesame Street where they teach you how to tell time.
Reading in the dryer.
@MotherOfDoggons @Ebony_QT I used to sit in the dryer and read. I literally wouldn’t let anyone use the dryer if I… https://t.co/8MsZyEhuH0— Justin Bieber’s Hip Hop Drums 🥁🇨🇦🇯🇲 (@Justin Bieber’s Hip Hop Drums 🥁🇨🇦🇯🇲)1544546851.0
Pet my fish!The words "pet goldfish" were meant to be descriptive. They weren't a command.
This kid was obviously very cool.At least the permanent marker tattoos didn't require surgery. Baby steps!
Burning a crayon.
@MotherOfDoggons Burned myself with a crayon when I was like 4, cause I thought you could sharpen them by burning t… https://t.co/GIQnwmU7Oh— THEMBO (@THEMBO)1544533182.0
Let's play with rocks!Just think. This kid grew up to (presumably) have a job. They could be your boss. How does that feel?
Cool cat.This was a bad day for kid brains. But a pretty great day for the cat!
Come on in!
@MotherOfDoggons When I was 4 a skunk was on my porch, I thought it was a cat, opened up the door and the thing act… https://t.co/9szg1RnkDw— Jimena (@Jimena)1544545755.0
@MotherOfDoggons 8y.o. Had a friend over, I was trying to be a magician and lit a smoke bomb in our very tiny apart… https://t.co/qIDZ1L4cHN— raj trivedi (@raj trivedi)1544552588.0
I see something!
@MotherOfDoggons When I was about 3, I kept on telling my mom that there was something in my line of vision everywh… https://t.co/Mk4mp6kCur— Holly Nicholls 🌿 (@Holly Nicholls 🌿)1544633919.0
Time to change up the decor.
@MotherOfDoggons I wanted colorful carpet, so I dumped my fake makeup tray and rubbed all the colors in. Realizing… https://t.co/U1gAegsXFE— Danielle (@Danielle)1544533704.0
"I'm part horse."
@MotherOfDoggons when i was 8 i tried to prove to my friends that i was part horse and so i ate a ton of grass to p… https://t.co/B7lpAg5N3y— lauren (@lauren)1544537725.0
Flawless plan.Makes total sense. I'm assuming it worked perfectly.
At least you got pudding!
@MotherOfDoggons @kalesalad i wanted to eat a pudding cup but my mom didn’t let me so i hid in the bathroom and ate… https://t.co/J9bFLz9ytA— lauren (@lauren)1544535126.0
Only the essentials.
@MotherOfDoggons When I was nine I got mad at my parents and I wanted to run away from home so I got a trash bag, a… https://t.co/2yZ0B8hnOu— sam (@sam)1544598608.0
@MotherOfDoggons @kalesalad when i was 4 i cut off my eyelashes with a pair of craft scissors because they “got in my way”— callie glynn (@callie glynn)1544554023.0
"These are some weird rocks!"This kid played with poop. Do you really need further proof that kids are idiots?
@MotherOfDoggons My brother super glued a dime inside his belly button. No particular reason.— Scott Gaston (@Scott Gaston)1545061977.0