People Reveal the 11 Things They Would Say to Their Pets If They Could Speak the Same Language | 22 Words

Sometimes, it feels like pets speak the same language you do.

But what if you could actually, truly understand your pets, and they could understand you?  What would you say?

Here are 11 pet owners on what the subject of their conversation would be if they had one hour to tell their pets everything they felt.

1. Sore paw

User DMmeChihpooPics says that she would tell her pet "that he’s perfect and I love him to death and if I step on his paw I’m really really sorry."

But really, isn't this what every pet owner wants to tell their little furry beloved? That when we step on your paws accidentally, we all feel that pain deep in our hearts.

2. Potty training

User Neatness_Counts would tell their pet to "piss and shit in the toilet then flush it. [Also] you can name what you want to eat[,] within reason."

An eminently sensible idea, actually. No more litter boxes, no more extra long walks just for one poop. And yes, let your baby eat what they want for once – as long as they're not asking for two thousand ice cream cones.

3. Bark

User mournthemonster says they would "just bark at my dog for an hour and SEE HOW HE LIKES IT DAMMIT."

We see where you're going, and we understand why, but again, you have one hour and you want to be petty? Okay, if that's how you feel...

4. Eff you

User funkyb says "I'd just be thrilled my cats could finally understand me when I say "fuck you"."

Again, not very productive, but if that's how you feel, that's how you feel. Sometimes, the little monsters need to know...

5. Drop the attitude

Jackrack1721 says,
I'd tell her if she knew it was family or a friend at the door, she did not have to bark. The worst is when I pull up, and she's staring right at me through the garden window, wagging her tail; defensive barking. Like. You see it's me, drop the attitude lady.

No – "I love you, bud, you're the best dog ever?" We guess we understand how you feel, all those years of resentment at the barking piling up. We can roll with it.

6. Very much loved

Cucumber678 says,
I'd ask them about their lives before we adopted them from a shelter, what were their old homes like, and how did they end up at the shelter? And then I'd want to make sure that they are happy here and that they know they are loved very much!

Aww, our cold little hearts are melting. This person cares for their pets very much and we understand why they'd want to make sure they're happy.

7. You were a good boy

User Escaloni says,
My dog just die[d] recently, so I'd tell him how sorry I was for putting him down but that I saw he was in pain and had a good life. Then I'd tell him how much of a good boy he was and that I still get hit with how much I miss him all the time.

Tears! We're sure his dog knew he was a good boy. A very, very good boy. And we're sure he loved him as well. This is the sweetest comment ever.

8. The UPS man

Kwhittek wants to explain to her dog,
The UPS man isn’t here to kill us. He brings us things we like. When you bark at him it doesn’t make him leave, it just makes you look like a dick. When you give me “the look" when I leave it breaks my heart, but I’m coming back so please don’t look at me like that. Barking at me doesn’t make the treats come faster. I understand you’re getting old and it’s hard to hold it. It’s ok if you pee inside, don’t feel too bad about it. You’re the best boys.

All very practical things born of long experience and familiarity with the canine at hand. And yes, barking at the UPS man does make you look like a dick – even if you're a dog.

9. The dreaded carrier

Mite-O-Dan says,
I have cats who hate being moved in a carrier or leaving the house for any reason whether it's to see the vet or to stay with a friend. So I'd tell my cats that being in the carrier is only temporary and that I will be back soon and that Id never leave them permanently. And also, it's ok to say hi to strangers. They aren't bad people. No need to hide. They just want to pet you and I know you like that so be a good kitty.

Really, this is a comment every cat owner who's ever faced the carrier of doom has. The carrier is not a bad thing. We repeat, the carrier is NOT a bad thing.

10. Health reasons

This user says,
I'd explain my cat that the reason he doesn't get as much food as he would like and that he only gets low calorie cat food, is because of his health. We are not being mean, but do it out of love.
Exactly. You don't have to eat literally everything. And yes, we know Fancy Feast tastes good.

11. Happy

User Fournote says she'd make sure that "they were happy and that they knew I loved them." And honestly, isn't this all every pet owner ever wants? Love this article? Share it will all your fellow pet lovers!