We’ve all ended up with a foot in our mouths at one time or another, saying some pretty regrettable things. Sometimes a slip of the tongue is inevitable. We have a poor night’s sleep, or we’re stressed and thinking about a million things at once. If you think about it, it’s not hard to say the wrong thing — even if you don’t mean to!
At the very least, plenty of those foot-in-mouth scenarios turn into some pretty great stories! And Redditors were gracious enough to share some of those embarrassing moments with the rest of the internet recently. So here are a few of the greatest (and most cringe-worthy) examples of regrettable things people have said out loud that they really shouldn’t have!
Today I was working with a high profile client and I intended to say “if you need anything else don’t hesitate to let me know” but my brain was stuck on “please let me know” so what I said was “if you need anything else please hesitate to let me know”. So I won’t be surprised if I don’t hear from him again any time soon.
Was at a wedding one time and saw this lady kissing a man for a photo. I said “you guys are a beautiful couple” she looks at me in disgust and replies “he is my uncle”
I was riding my bike around one day when a person walked by me and said “hi”, and I said “thanks” back to them.
In high school, I told someone Merry Christmas and they replied that they were Jewish so I cheerfully replied Happy Jewish then!
It’s been over ten years and I still cringe at the thought.
I said thank you to a vending machine once.
I use teleconferencing every workday. The recorded voice says “Welcome to WebEx” to which I always reply “thank you”.
I also say please to my Google Home.
In general, I treat all technology that speaks to me as I would want to be treated.
I worked in an office and there was a homeless guy outside that used to ask for cigarettes. I was walking up the street and saw him so was practicing what to say in my head. It went like this:
Him: “give me a smile”
Me: “sorry I don’t have any”
Thanks to the ENTIRELY NEEDLESS proximity of the T and G keys, I once signed off a very important email with the phrase ‘Kind retards’.
Well. Once that I know of.
I put an old collar from my cat on a stuffed tiger. (The cat had long since passed away) We were doing a school play one day and I was the ‘lion tamer’ so I brought the tiger in with his collar. Some guy walked up to talk to me about how funny it was that my tame tiger had a collar…and what did I say?
“Thanks, I took it off of my dead cat.” That ended that conversation right there.
I once asked a widow – at her husbands funeral – if she was going to start dating soon.
The cashier at a shoe store asked me if I wanted to sign up for their rewards program; I said “no thanks, I don’t really wear shoes”
I suck at comforting people face to face. The girl I had the absolute BIGGEST crush on was crying and venting to me about how her anxiety disorder is stopping her from living a normal life. “Ok but calm down” was the only thing that came out of my mouth. Luckily we both had a good laugh about it.
You can tell a lot about a new born’s health by their pallor. They can come out purple and blue, or yellow. Grey or white. Or a healthy flushed pink. I was pretty excited when I received the news that one of my nieces had been born while I was at work. I rushed into my bosses office and said breathlessly,
“The baby is here! She has all ten fingers and ten toes and came out the right color and everything.”
An alternate interpretation of “the right color” hadn’t occurred to me until I saw the look on his face.
Saying “you too” when the airport ticket scanner person tells me to have a nice flight.
Was at a music festival. Standing next to a girl before the next group and she says “I like your shorts”.
For whatever reason, the first thing I was able to yell out was “thanks we should trade!”
Waiting in line to return some stuff at home depot. Plumbing associate comes up to get some returns. he’s wrestling with some long pipes. So, I grabbed the other side and helped him load them on to his cart.
Him: “Thank you, but you didn’t need to do that”
Me: “I don’t mind. It looked like you really could use another hand”
As he was walking away I realized one of his arms was amputated at the elbow. mfw.
So at my job we have to say “have a nice day” and I was working night shift and tried to say “have a nice night” and “day” at the same time. I ended up saying ” Nae” I wanted to die. I’ve said it about 5 times at my job. I have died a little bit inside when it happens.
“Your dog looks hot”
The dog was clearly overheating, but the tone in which I said it sounded like I was asking to marry her dog.
I asked a coworker how their trip to China went and I got distracted right after I asked the question and automatically replied “nice, I bet it was quite the experience.” Then moments later my brain registered her reply. She said, “On my way there my mom died and I had to come back to deal with that”.
We don’t talk anymore.
Oh, that reminds me of when I spaced out when talking with a pretty girl about skiing. The conversation was good and I was proud of my social skills. I see she asks me a question, but I didn’t hear it. So I pause, and think, “Uh oh. Say something…” So I said, “Yeah. I like skiing…”
And then we parted. I never spoke with her again, though I saw her every week.
I learned that it’s better to always ask for clarification about what someone said, rather than just trying to wing it.
Oh, where to start?! Lol
Most recently I guess. I was walking out of my office building and had my umbrella with me. A lady walks in as I’m walking out and asked: “hey where did you get that?” I’m assuming because she wanted to buy one for herself. But stupid awkward me responded with “It’s mine!” And promptly running away into the rain. Fml -_-
To answer a couple of your questions: I literally did just run out into the rain, not even opening my umbrella, just clutching it to my chest. I got about halfway down the block before I realized what I was doing.
She looked very confused, and just said”Oh….kay” After that IDK what she did because I was to busy looking for a rock to die under.
I said sorry when I walked into a wall. At school. With a mic on. On a stage auditioning for student president.
No, I didn’t win, for you asking.
Once I was really high and the pizza guy said “enjoy your meal” so I was going to say “thanks, you too”, but my more awkward friend (who was high too) said, “don’t tell her what to do”.
At a baby shower, trying to make small talk and hypothetical future plans with the mother to be:
“When you have the thing, …”
I was 13 at the time but this still keeps me up at night. I used to be pretty conservative Christian and I had a dear Jewish friend who once told me she didn’t believe in hell. I meant to say to her that what we think now only matters to a point and that we will attain perfect knowledge of what actually exists once we pass on to the next life, but all I managed to say was, “You’ll see when you die.” We never recovered from that one.
Oh. Your grandpa finally died?
-should have kept that “finally” in my head.
I used to work the McDonald’s drive-thru and, as one might expect, it was incredibly mundane and repetitive. I ended up daydreaming one shift and reminiscing on a girl with exceptionally soft hands when suddenly, my headset beeps because I had a customer and I say over the speaker and say “welcome to McDonald’s, how can I love you today?”
Went to a job interview with the royal navy, the guy shook my hand at the end and said ” good luck, I’m sure you will be great in the navy” and I said ” you too ” and then shortly after he said goodbye and I replied, ” love you “.
I work somewhere that makes sandwiches. And instead of asking somebody if they wanted their sandwich cut in half, I asked if they wanted both halves.
I was a really awkward kid, like more awkward than I am today. I was at a wedding of one of my dad’s military friends. I was introduced to the groom’s son, named Taylor. I told him, “There’s a girl in my class named Taylor, do you know her?” I was eight, I knew that having the same name didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t even from my state. My mom pulled me away and I didn’t realize until after the wedding how weird what I said was.
I was trying to say “I got up on my high horse,” while in a staff meeting. What I said was “I got up on my whorehouse…”
I was walking to class with my professor and they were holding a cup of coffee which I noticed to be leaking. So my intellectual self says, out of panic, “Oh, you’re leaking” to which I get no response but an awkward silence the rest of the way.
This was my first time having a one-to-one encounter with this professor, I think I gave out a great impression of myself :/
I was talking with one of my friends on campus one day (a completely platonic female friend). I was recovering from being really sick and at one point she jokingly punched me on the shoulder or something. I jokingly said back “hey, don’t touch me, I’m sick!”. However, I was pretty much better and I wanted to let her know that, so I added on “Just kidding, I’m better. You can touch me whenever you want”
It made sense in my head but as soon as it came out of my mouth I knew it was wrong. We shared an awkward silence but eventually got back talking normally, but I’ll always think about that every time I see her.
During a break between classes in high school, a friend/classmate called herself fat. I told her she isn’t. We started arguing about what weight and appearance a person has to have so they can be uncontroversially and unambiguously labeled fat.
Then a very overweight girl enters the class, I immediately point at her, like she’s a specimen, and say: “This is fat!”
My friend immediately gets silent and says: “…well… you should apologize now.”
I am also awkward at apologizing. So I got red in the face and just left the classroom for the rest of the break. Only gathered enough courage to apologize at the end of the school day.
I walked into a pole when I was with some friends and said “sorry” TO THE FREAKING POLE then I was like “oh sorry you’re not a person” to the pole again. Everyone including my mom still makes fun of me for that to this day.
A girl dropped her mittens on a subway, so I picked them up for her and said: “here’s your weapons” instead of mittens.
I research cancer and I find the disease, on a molecular level, to be fascinating. Many years ago I was at my parent’s house talking to my neighbor (who is a testicular cancer survivor) about my research, and my dumb self blurts out “I think cancer is just so cool!” DEFINITELY not what I meant…
A new coworker’s mother in law died and I said “at least it’s not sunny outside” as in she has to work inside on a crappy day which she would have anyway.
I said that and just was like wow. I still think about it two years later.
I was at a gas station, and the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to a dollar to St. Jude’s. My response was “No thanks, I hate children.”
To an office colleague, I barely knew when I found out he was dating the sister of a childhood friend: ‘I’ve had baths with her’.
Technically true, we were little kids, but sooo awkward.
Asked a family friend called “Dickie” who was over for cocktails, “Would you like anything else to dick, Drinkie?”
A few years ago, my family and I were visiting some distant relatives at a cousins house. I and my sister (who is five years older than me) were sitting down when we went to go say hi. I guess they recognized my sister cause they sure as heck didn’t know who I was. So I was thinking of what to say before I shake their hands.
“I’m her brother”
“She’s my sister”
I couldn’t decide and I accidentally said: “I’m her sister”. I’m a guy. By far the stupidest thing I’ve ever said, my sister still teases me till this day.
I’m paying for a smoothie and ask the cashier how he’s doing and he tells me he’s tired and I reflexively said “yeah I feel a little dead inside too” and he started laughing. My friends and I joke around like that all the time but at that moment I realized how weird of a response that was.
I once spoke Greek to a deaf person. An English speaking deaf person.
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