19 People Share Questions They’ve Been Asked That Are Too Dumb to Believe

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Look, we all have momentary lapses in intelligence.

They’re called brain farts, and everyone, even the smartest person on the planet, has them every once in a while.

But every so often, we are confronted with a truly insanely dumb question from someone who otherwise seems perfectly intelligent.

Whether the people who asked them are having massive brain farts or they are really actually that stupid doesn’t change the fact that the questions you are about to read are the dumbest. Ever. In the history of the world.

The Earth


About 25 years ago I was explaining time zones to a 20ish-year-old intern at a large scientific agency.
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She wasn’t getting it, so I got an orange I brought for lunch and used it as the Earth.
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Me: Ok, pretend this is the Earth. The sun only shines on one side, so it’s day on approximately half at any given time. Now since the Earth rotates (as I spin the orange)…
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Intern: So wait. Hold on. So you’re saying the Earth is round?
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I wish I was joking.NittanyJim

Over the phone

Had a customer ask if she could pay her bill over the phone. I asked what kind of credit card…. cash. She wanted to pay cash over the phone.busykim

Different-colored eyes

My eyes are two different colors, and the question I’m most often asked about them is, “Did you know your eyes are two different colors?” I’m amused when someone asks me whether I see different colors out of each eye, or – even better – whether I “see in 3D.”MelilDiMolihua

The Colosseum


A coworker at the library was asked for aerial photos of the Colosseum in Rome.
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Before it was in ruins.enfanta
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Mirror mirror

Someone asked me at work if this mirror was expired because it had a manufactured date on the back. TrynUrLuck

Where do you work?


One day one of my students said: “Ew, I have to work today.” To which I replied, “So do I.”
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He looked at me and asked, honestly, “Oh really? Where do you work?”
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“Here…I work here…right where I am standing. I don’t do this as a service to your parents.”BrainPainn

Email it to me


Boss: “Could you print out that file, scan it, and email it to me?”
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Me: “I could just email it to you.”
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Boss: … -SkaffenAmtiskaw-

Australia


How long did it take you to drive from Australia to America? I’ve been asked this twice.
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I wish I could say I had a witty response, but my brain froze as it tried to compute the stupidity of the question. ecodrew

Substitutions


Not anything super mind-boggling, but I worked as a server at an infamous “Italian” restaurant during college.
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Here’s my interaction with a guest one evening:
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G: “I’d like to order the spaghetti with marinara sauce, but can I get fettuccine noodles instead?” M: “Sure thing.” G: “Oh, and I’d like to please substitute the marinara with Alfredo sauce. And please add chicken.” M: “… I would have to charge you for the chicken Alfredo, then.” (Note there were a few dollars in the price difference between the two dishes, Alfredo being more expensive). G: “But I ordered the spaghetti with marinara.”
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I legitimately had to argue with this person for few moments as to why I couldn’t magically substitute out the entire entree for a different one with no price difference.
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Guest ended up being super crabby for the remainder of the time and I’m fairly certain didn’t tip at all.architectmillenial
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Leaves

I never asked it, but when I was younger, I wondered how the leaves made their way back on to trees after they fell during the autumn before. I thought they migrated like birds back on to the branches.AndrewLampart

Milkshakes

I once had an argument with a friend over whether or not a milkshake is a dairy product. She was in her second year of culinary school.as1156

Zebras

In grade 10 science a girl argued vehemently with our teacher that zebras were a mythical creature, like a unicorn. After asking why they paint the stripes on the horses for the nature videos. I assure you, it was not a troll.LOIL99

Soy milk


I was training a new colleague in the café I worked at.
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We have a number of plant-based milk substitutes, as I was trying to explain to her.
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“Some people don’t drink dairy, often because cow’s milk contains lactose.” “Alright, so what animal does soy milk come from?”Mirtie

Unicorns


Isn’t it a shame unicorns went extinct?
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This person was an adult and thought unicorns exists during medieval times.laughing_cat
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Maps


My cousin bought a map from a nearby fancy store for tourists.
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After perusing it for no less than two hours, she asked me, “How does this north-south stuff work? The side I’m facing is north, right?
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And if I turn right, north also turns right, no?”
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She was 20.small_big

Buffalo

My wife at the time saw the headline “Buffalo buried in 5 feet of snow” (I don’t remember the exact measurement). She asked, “Why don’t they just dig the poor guy out?” There was a picture of the city under the headline.gjhobso

Dinosaurs


Watching a documentary on dinosaurs in class once. Girl sitting at the table in front of me turns around as the documentary is playing.
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“Hey… they didn’t have cameras around when there were dinosaurs… right?”
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I just turned to my friend, and we both started laughing. Good times, I miss geology.FalsifiedHero

Zoos


My friend once asked, “What if they made a sea world but instead it’s centered around the land?”
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I responded with “So basically, a zoo?”Legitimate_Luke

Stairs


Was asked by a friend of mine who worked in a bookshop.
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“Excuse me. Do these stairs go up?”
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Draculasmooncannon
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