19 People Share the Things That Are Forbidden on a First Date

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Dating is maybe one of the worst things in the world that we as a species have decided is an acceptable thing to do.

That being said, there are definitely people who don’t know how to do it properly.

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It shouldn’t be that hard to act like you are a normal person on a date.

But it is for a surprising number of people. For those people, Twitter came out to share the things you should never do on a first date. Weirdos, take note.

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Wings

  via Twitter  

Wings are definitely a tricky thing to eat on a first date. You want to stick to things that won’t get all over your face or get stuck in your teeth.

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Grapes

  via Twitter  

While this is hilarious, it probably shouldn’t happen on a first date. I don’t know where you’d go that could provide you that many grapes, anyway.

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Burp kiss

  via Twitter  

Definitely try your best not to do this. I don’t think that will end well for anyone involved.

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Sell up

  via Twitter  

Is this a date or a sales pitch? Because if it’s a sales pitch, I’m out. The next one is actually absurd.

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Fart frog

  via Twitter  

This especially won’t work because farts rarely sound like frog sounds. Just please, please do not do this.

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Ex talk

  via Twitter  

This should be like number one on the list. Bold those letters, scream it from the rooftops. Do not mention your ex on a first date.

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Marriage

  via Twitter  

This is definitely a no-no for a first date. This is more like 200th date kind of stuff.

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Creepy van

  via Twitter  

Hot tip: If your date shows up in a creepy white van and offers you candy, he’s definitely a sexual predator.

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Polygamy

  via Twitter  

Oh man, this seems like something that happened to this person, and I feel very sorry for them. This is crazy. The next one is actually a real, useful tip.

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Eat to impress

  via Twitter  

Sure, when you’re on a date, you want to eat something that won’t make you look like a monster. But don’t eat a salad just because that’s what you think your date will find acceptable. That’s some bs.

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Crocs

  via Twitter  

Let’s expand this one and just say that you should never put Crocs on your feet for any purpose whatsoever.

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Wedding gown

  via Twitter  

I don’t really know who would do this, but this should be pretty self-explanatory. Please don’t do this. That automatically lets your date know you are a crazy person.

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Car loan

  via Twitter  

This is a no-brainer. If you can’t sign your own car loan, I don’t want to date you, period.

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Speedster

  via Twitter  

Wait for your date! This is absurd! I understand if you’re nervous, but this is too much. The next one again seems like a no-brainer.

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Slurpy sounds

  via Twitter  

There’s a lot of emphasis placed on how you should eat on a date, and for good reason. If you slurp your noodles in public, you’re a crazy person.

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Talkin’ genes

  via Twitter  

I think it’s safe to say that any crazy talk about the future that implies you two having kids or a family is way too much for a first date.

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Ankle bracelet

  via Twitter  

If you are on house arrest, you probably can’t make it on a date, but if you somehow do, hide that bracelet, baby!

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Baby names

  via Twitter  

Don’t talk about how you want to name your eventual children when you are on a first date. There’s very little chance that won’t totally freak your date out.

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Trumpie

  via Twitter  

Actually, please do this because that will let me know right away that we shouldn’t have a second date. Share this with someone who might need to learn a thing or two about dating.

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