These Not-Too-Smart People Thought Headlines From ‘The Onion’ Were Real

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For a long time, The Onion has billed itself as “America’s Finest News Source,” but that was done with a wink. The publication is pure satire, with its headlines ranging from obvious jokes about current-day politics to insane takes on everyday life. In fact, The Onion‘s empire has even expanded beyond newspapers, taking aim at online publications with Clickhole and video games with Onion Gamer Network.

For most people, it’s very obvious that these headlines are meant to be funny and weird. But a lot of people just glance at the headlines as they scroll by on Twitter and react accordingly. These people “ate The Onion,” as the practice of believing comedic and/or satirical headlines is now known. It’s a shameful moment for these folks — a clear indication that they don’t read the articles that make them so angry on the internet.

Could eating the onion be an indication that you need to learn a little more about a subject before you pop off about it on social media? Perhaps, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that’s too much self-awareness to ask out of these people. Here are some of the best moments of people online eating The Onion.

(IMPORTANT NOTE: All these italicized responses are real people reacting to Onion tweets. What a bummer for those real people.)

It’s the sun you stupid f–ing fake news media! This is not new! Jesus God, read a book!

Whatever. It won’t be the United States collapsing… it’ll be your biased reporting.

It’s called a girl ffs. (If you didn’t know, “ffs” stands for “for f’s sake,” so realize just how angry this poor person was that The Onion didn’t know about 50 percent of the human population.)

Dog bites man? Not a story. Dog gets on elevator dripping wet? Story.

What the hell is this article about? Who cares? Why is this important and why did you waste your time and ours putting this on Twitter?

Disgusting. Who allowed this?

RESPONSE 1: Cheese is naturally yellow-orange. Green cheese indicates fuzzy, moldy cheese. Won’t be eating any soon. I will go with the store brand Cheetos. RESPONSE 2: They lost my business. Wow these businesses. They are so childish. RESPONSE 3: I love these things but I will never buy another one as long as they are green. Love my president, go Trump 2020.

Both men and women can fall for Onion headlines.

When people ask me why I’m not a feminist, I tell them that I already feel equal. And also, because of dumb stuff like this…

This better not be true. It’s a British landmark, always will be and should remain as “Big Ben.”

Wait — do you think the chimp is going to die?

This can’t be true??? They are going to kill this animal. They just announced they’re going to kill this animal and study the effects before he dies. That’s what I just read, right? ‘Cause this chimp’s gonna die!!

Couldn’t they just uses puppets? Or effects? Or anything else?

And this is why I refuse to go to Sea World.

Your guys’ thoughts on this?? I don’t know it it’s true or not. But I’m open to new methods.

This woman is bat-shiz crazy. You can’t be gay in a homosexual sense for reading a book.

What a load of bull shyte. I am so glad I am not a James Bond fan.

This is stupid. There is no full story and this isn’t newsworthy.

This is horrible, that is a vile and mean article.

RESPONSE 1: Is this true? Nine feet tall. RESPONSE 2: Seriously?

Oh my god, you’ve been worshiping him for so looong.

It’s called being a Christian. [heart emoji]

That is absolutely ridiculous. I would hate to see how they draw their own blood, let alone the containers they put it in. It’s not like a pair of shoes. Can’t just throw them in there.

Why??? What’s it worth??? .60???

RESPONSE 1: JK Rowling should shut her mouth and come up with her own ideas. RESPONSE 2: STFU and make one of your own damn characters whatever you want them to be. Jon Snow is obviously attracted to women.

So he is encouraging young kids to not vape, just smoke cigarettes if you want to look cool. Wow Big Tobacco sure has an agenda!

PSST. They don’t.

How does someone make a mistake like that.

It’s not like they plan on getting abducted. [shocked face emoji]

Who wants their burger to taste like spearmint?? Who???

Maybe the usage of the word “object” for a girl can be a bit offensive. How about girl’s growing up to become a lady.

It’s not meant to be realistic!

This should not even be a thing! Got nothing better to write about? How immature.

I hate to say it but talk about poetic justice. I know free speech gives him the right to say all that hate-filled misogynistic sh*t he was spitting out in his lyrics but it’s coming back to haunt him.

Asking if we read the whole article is just *chef’s kiss*.

Did you read the whole article? These “scientists” sound like a bunch of morons.