It’s a fact known by everyone that beggars can’t be choosers. If you’re begging, pleading, or on your knees asking for a handout, you cannot be picky about what you are given. In fact, if you are given anything at all, you should be grateful.
But some people don’t understand this. Some people believe that they can demand anything, and not be expected to give something in return. I am talking about people asking for free work, those demanding markdowns on products they want to buy, or even people who beg for spare change but who will only accept $20 bills or higher. We have all of those people on this list.
So, as we said… beggars can’t be choosers, but that does not mean that beggars won’t try. No matter how dumb it makes them look.
Beggers can’t be choosers!
And neither can burgers.
Mostly because burgers don’t have fingers to point at things they want.
Be like Terry
This place is giving you free beer! Free! Beer!
If you complain about the selection of free beer, you should not get any, and you should be kicked out of the bar.
This is what you deserve when you ask real artists to do free work for you under the guise of “exposure.”
“Exposure” is the biggest crock out there. Pay people for their work.
Pay for parking
Um, this person was being extremely generous and flexible, and the person who was going to get the free ride couldn’t even fathom paying for parking?
Who are these people?!
Oh, this one makes me so mad. Childcare is an industry full of underpaid and overworked people.
A babysitter is responsible for your child’s life! Pay them fairly!
“I’m looking for free furniture. Oh, and you have to deliver it to my house. Oh, and you have to set it up. Oh, and you have to decorate the entire room around the piece.”
The nerve of this person to ask someone who they clearly have not talked to in a long time for free money! Without expecting to pay it back?!
This is legitimately insane.
It’s really disheartening to see how undervalued artistic and other creative professions are.
Artists deserve compensation for their art. Period.
24/7 daycare provider
Um, $70 a week?! Maybe that was a fair price in like, the 1600s. But this is totally ridiculous.
Somebody was just found out for being a little melodramatic about the “miracle” they need.
Apparently, this person isn’t that desperate.
Um, yes, tattoo artists are artists, and artists should be paid.
In fact, if that thing is going to be inked into my skin forever, I want to make sure I go to a professional, and professionals probably charge more.
I don’t know if this is real, but either way, this resume is crazy except for the mayonnaise clause, which I feel is totally reasonable.
Oh my goodness, the “it’s an honor for you” line makes my eyes roll so far back in my head that they go all the way around until I can see again.
Again, looks like someone isn’t as desperate as they seem to be.
Begging for a job? Don’t push away the one that might actually take ya!
Um, excuse me, who messaged who? And who offered an absolutely bonkers cheap price for the TV?
Thanks for wasting all our time, bucko.
Hey, psst. Come over here. I have a secret to tell you. It’s called an animal shelter.
But even then, there are adoption fees.
I would be tempted by the picture, except I don’t want the human in it. Just the dog. Just the beautiful, gorgeous dog.
Wow, that last line is insulting. Like any other art, playing bass is a learned skill and not everyone can do it. This is awful.
$250 gift requirement
This is insane!
I have heard tell of crazy wedding stories, but none like this. Gift demands? I am speechless!
People don’t understand that website-building is a whole industry and coding and design are all like, degrees you can get.
Obviously, you have to pay for website design.
Free pink tile
This tile? Well, this gorgeous tile is all yours. As long as you pry it and all its brothers and sisters out of my wall. And clean up the whole mess. Don’t miss out on this generous offer!
The game was already free. All the person had to do was go get it.
Come on, people! Learn how to be human beings.
It’s two dollars! The only possible way I’d negotiate that price is if you only had a $5 and didn’t want change.
Honestly, props to this girl for trying to get what we’re all trying to get out of dating apps: free meals. Cut to the chase and do it, honey.
“$20 bills and larger only”
I really wonder if this tactic works for this guy. Maybe it gets more people to give him smaller bills to see if he’ll take it?
This might be a genius idea.
Part of the problem
This is amazing. Why would someone write about the negative effects of unpaid work for free?
That’s the problem.
All this person is asking for is to be credited for their work.
That’s like, the smallest ask.
This begs the question…
What happened to the first violin?
The best price
“I would prefer your shop but with the other shop’s prices.”
“Well, we can’t do that. These are our prices.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You know what? Neither do I.”
How did this person trying to sell their computer ruin your kids’ Christmases? Your logic does not add up.
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