One of the first things they teach you in driver's training is how to park. Now if you mess up parallel parking, that's one thing, as you have to be some kind of wizard to get that right on the first try. But when it comes to simply pulling into a spot clearly marked with lines on either side, it's not exactly like landing the space shuttle.
Mistakes happen, but sometimes you can tell people are just idiots and couldn't care less about how their car is taking up two spots or a reserved space. That's why there's vigilante justice in the form of strongly-worded notes or actions, as these people clearly demonstrate.
See Spot park.
via: ImgurOne of two things happened here. Either a) this guy thought up this "spot" joke on the top of his head, ran home, printed out this sheet, and rand back to stick it in the windshield. Or b) this guy has a ton of these posters already printed out because he has an insatiable need to be passive-aggressive to other drivers. Which one do you think it is?
Getting their just desserts.
via: List 25This is, perhaps, the most devastating curse you can put on a person. His ice cream-loving days are over.
How's that for fitness motivation?
via: SomeecardsI'm trying to imagine this scene, and I do not comprehend it. Did he park in front of the entry ramp for the gym parking lot? And who are these other cars just careening around in front of gym members? Are they driving onto the running track?
Fast-forward to the dude having to crawl through the passenger side to get into his car.
via: RedditYou know what they say: if at first they don't park right, park even worse to teach them a lesson.
You know what they say about "assuming."
via: TumblrThis is one of those oddly-specific notes that makes it absolutely clear that this person has spent a lot of time blindfolded with crazed ferrets.
It's time for some introspection.
via: SomeecardsI'm gonna be honest here — I don't care how bad this guy parked. It's a low blow to say no one likes them. What about dogs? Dogs like everyone.
The horrible parking stops with you, my friend.
via: TumblrWhat's especially mean about this one is that they're assuming this driver is only going to have sex one more time for the rest of their life. BOOM, roasted.
Beware the Spud Squad!
via: RedditWhere did these spuds come from? Did this note-leaver carve them just for this situation? Or are the Spud Squad some sort of weird pop culture relic from the '90s that were so weird I honestly can't remember if they really had a cartoon show or if I'd dreamed them up myself, like the Biker Mice From Mars?
Maybe you missed that class.
via: Student BeansAh, I remember when I took Parking 101. I waked into class, saw the most beautiful girl, and sat next to her. But it didn't work out. She dropped the class on went on to park in front of everyone's driveways. I don't need that kind of energy in my life.
Honestly, I kind of wish I could see that happen.
via: RedditI like to think this guy solves all his problems with threats of monster-trucking, even at work. "Johnson, if you don't sign this birthday card for Audrey down in Accounting, I am going to monster-truck your desk."
This car has been through a lot.
via: Sorry WatchThere is a lot of information to take in here. Somehow this note is as dense as a Dickens novel (and just as sad and convoluted).
via: List 25There's almost nothing more fun than sliding across the hood of a car. Except maybe diving in feet-first through the driver's side window, starting it up, and peeling away, gettin' away from the law just in time.
Effective, but does this guy just carry a stack of these around with him?
via: RedditWhoa, was this note written by the guy from Taken? Maybe it's because I just watched the movie Taken, but this sounds a lot like the speech given by the guy from Taken.
Quite the catchy tune...maybe.
That's a mighty big bike there.
via: RedditI appreciate this motorcyclist taking the time out of their busy day to educate this truck driver on what "motorcycle parking" actually means with this crystal clear example.
It's actually your fault.
The irony of the paper this is written on isn't lost on me.
via: List 25Listen, I'm no expert on curses — maybe this one is just a minor curse, and the "problem" it describes is just another circle around the block before a space appears. But if this is a legit curse, that actually makes parking anywhere else impossible? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and say that that's just too far!
Car-owners looooove telling motorcycle-owners where to park.
via: RedditFirst of all, I'm not certain motorcycle owners can park on sidewalks. And second of all, motorcycle dude will park wherever motorcycle dude feels.
Why don't you tell me first what you were thinking?
via: RedditYou can tell someone is a little too self-involved when they use the phrase "what were you thinking?!" As if their way of looking at something is the only way to look at something. Get over yourself, people!
See, blue post-it guy gets it.
via: RedditI love seeing positive notes, but I love positive notes that smack down less-than-positive notes even more.
Glad I could help!
via: RedditThere is a big "can I speak to your manger"-sort of energy to this letter. That sickly faux-sweetness makes me want to scream. Either be nice or be mean, but don't try to dress one up as the other.
I know who I'm siding with in this disagreement.
via: RedditIt's not often that you get to see the objective truth of a dispute, but my man here provided photographic evidence that he was parked far away from their driveway.
Oh, we'll all be sorry.
via: RedditI say we'll all be sorry because reading this note gave me the biggest headache I've ever had in my life. What does it mean to "mycomb" from a spot? Am I missing out on some regional dialect here?
Someone else would've just taken the second spot, dude.
via: RedditYes, this guy was maybe being inconsiderate parking across two spots. But if he hadn't been, why do you think you would have instantly gotten the spot? No neighborhood has exactly as many spots as it does cars! Someone else would've just parked behind him!
"Why did you get upset about us using your spot?!"
via: RedditThis one has me at a loss for words. Like, I don't know what to tell you. You parked in his spot? Don't do that? Then you won't get towed? Seems pretty cut and dry to me.
This cop was clearly fed up.
via: RedditI can just picture this Larry David-looking cop going, "There are two signs! Right there! You miss one, there's another one! How does someone miss them both?! There are two! Signs!"
Lot of pages for not a lot of words.
via: RedditThe fact that this dude was so angry about this parking job he was just scribbling across entire sheets of paper like a child getting ahold of their first Sharpie really paints a positive picture of his mental health.
A tiny little note with a big, important message.
via: RedditIt's unclear whether or not this guy is parking somewhere he shouldn't, but in any event, I think we should all be happy he brought the four people who love there together. I bet he saved their friendship.
"Park it where I feel comfortable."
via: RedditWon't somebody please think of the groceries?!
It does look helpful.
via: RedditI like these little "color inside the lines so you'll park better" exercises. Not because I think they'll actually help people park better — they won't — but adults don't take as much time as they need to to play, you know?
Does-- does the pad make it more insulting? Or less?
via: RedditI have no idea what is being communicated here. If they hadn't tried to make a joke out of the pad by signing it "pad a nice day" (not a great pun), I'd say they just didn't have a notebook in their car.
We gotta get a beer sometime, broski.
via: RedditThis would be so nice to come across! Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I have to wonder... what was this guy trying to accomplish with this note? Do they have a little crush?
You never — and I mean never — insult a man's mustache.
via: Reddit75 percent of my way through this note, I was like "Yeah guy, you could've just pulled up a bit!" But then I got to the mustache comment, realized the note-leaver was a terrible person, and my entire view changed? I was like, "Maybe he was in a hurry? Maybe he had to go see his cancer-stricken wife? He doesn't owe you anything!"
via: RedditA "waist of life"?! This guy called him a "waist of life"?! That is positively brutal. No one is a waist of life. Not even people who misspell "waste."
And where would one go to redeem this prize?
via: RedditI would like to know what the Inconsiderate Parker's Prize is. If it's a PlayStation 4, I'm going to start parking diagonally across all my neighbors' spots.
Do people think they own the curbs outside their house?
via: RedditI am trying to be empathetic here, but I cannot understand how having a car parked outside your house would make you feel unsafe. Does it have Pennywise the clown painted on the side?
Someone's getting coal in their stocking this year.
via: RedditThis was a pretty standard "Hey, you parked bad, jerk-off"-kind of note until you get to the end, and it's signed Santa? Doesn't Santa fly, and use magic? Why does he need a parking spot?
So weird to have these printed up and ready to go.
via: RedditYou have to be a real maniac to have a stack of notes at the ready to put on cars that park too close to you. Like, he had to go to FedEx to get them all printed out. Doesn't he have anything better to do?
"On the third note I was like, 'when do they want me to move it?' but then it was the fourth one that really made it click: 'ohhh, it's ASAP..."
via: RedditI simply cannot imagine the thought process that would make someone go "I have placed three notes on the car, and yet, my message has not yet been conveyed. I will not change anything about said message as I sit down now to write my fourth."
Why do these other people deserve the spot more than this guy?
via: RedditWho is this note-writer saving this spot for? Because this guy is just as much of an "other people" as anyone else. Everyone is "other people" to other people, you know?
via: RedditNow this man... this man has some talent. Hopefully a literary agent will scoop him up soon because this sort of writing has to get out into the world.
The plastic lamination is what really makes this feel official.
via: RedditIf this note was just printed out and stuck in the windshield, you'd have to assume it was from an angry neighbor impersonating the Homeowner's Association. But the fact that it's in a little plastic sleeve? Well, that makes it official. You only get to use those if you work for the Homeowner's Association.
This one is maybe the most cutting note of all...
via: RedditSwell? Swell? This is so passive, so understated, that I can't help but think it was written by history's greatest mass-murderer.
Aww, it's both cute and annoying!
via: RedditI like to imagine whoever found this note on their windshield scanning the note, going "Oh cute! A little coloring challenge! How nice-- heyy, wait a minute..."
A simple question:
via: RedditThese highlighted lines make it so difficult to read! Does this note-leaver know you're supposed to highlight the
It reads "I'm a rude ass."
via: RedditI don't know guys, I don't think that Lincoln Navigator actually said that. I think it was framed...
You know you screwed up when you piss off Mickey Mouse.
via: RedditThis driver must really be in the wrong, because Mickey Mouse generally has a pretty sunny disposition. I can't imagine him every blowing his top at, say, Goofy.
via: Without WaxMany religious scholars have pondered this exact question for eons. Where would Jesus park? Usually, it turns out to be somewhere fairly obvious, like the Ross across the street, and then He just walks to where He is going.
That's pretty crappy.
via: ImgurIt'd be one thing to take a dump on the man's car, but to take a fat dump? That means they'd been saving up their dump for a few days. Excessive.
You don't mess with contractors.
via: RedditAnd that little Smart Car has been in that exact spot ever since. Eventually, the neighbors hope it will sprout little Smart Cars. At least, we assume that's why they've been watering it.
It's a van down by the river!
Yet they were polite enough to leave a note.
via: SomeecardsYou ever heard the phrase "adding insult to injury"? Well that's what's going on here — this note-leaver didn't need to leave a note! The damage was already done.
Just "sharing" a few thoughts.
via: ImgurEvery second I spend on Facebook is pure hell. There are bad memes, people spreading their bad politics and opinions. I just hate it so much. I cannot imagine being so invested in the Facebook branding that I would take its iconography and pull it into the real world.
That's how they do it in the Outback.
via: RedditThe only way this parking job is acceptable is if the guy ran in for a single Bloomin' Onion and got so caught up in the Outback Steakhouse ambiance he decided to stay for an entire meal.
Did someone take your stapler too?
via: RedditI hat to be this guy, but if you don't know how to draw the boss from Office Space? Don't draw the boss from Office Space.
In case it's unclear.
via: RedditNow, on the other hand, if you do know how to draw clear and informative guides that help those who struggle with parking park better? Draw clear and informative guides that help those who struggle with parking park better.
The politics of parking.
Maybe he should rent a car from the place he got that paper?
via: Dude LOLLook, we all know this is a totally crummy thing to do, but if I could play devil's advocate for a second, this is as close to a bank heist-style con-job as any of us are going to get. I say we let him have this.
Do a little dance...
via: Funny JunkI wonder if the parker is supposed to circle one — blind or stupid — and leave the card on the ground after they leave?
Bam. Game over.
via: ImgurIsn't this maybe a little below the belt? I mean, it's one thing to piss people off with your parking, but to wish they never existed? Is that ever justified? Well... I guess I'd have to see the parking job.
Good luck with that.
via: RedditScore one for the white truck. Hopefully they're running errands all day and will have to stay there until late at night. I also hope the bad parker has an important meeting to get to. And that they have to go to the bathroom.