Before the internet, most of our communication was verbal — we heard a word, deduced its meaning, and repeated it in future conversations. But since most of our communication these days is through text, be it via texts, email, or tweet, suddenly, it matters the way we spell words. And if you’ve been misspelling common phrases in goofy ways, well brother, the internet is not going to let you off the hook.
That’s what’s going on over on Reddit’s /r/BoneAppleTea subreddit. These heavy internet users are collecting every moment that someone got a super-normal everyday phrase completely — and hilariously — wrong.
If you’ve ever said “bone apple tea” while presenting a home-cooked meal to a guest, you were okay. But when you type out “bone apple tea” to tell your friends you’re running late to the restaurant? Get ready to be dragged.
Aye do them roast history chickens at Wal-Mart be good? Put me on.
– pileofdeuce
PERSON 1: Wanna go out for dinner?
PERSON 2: Ya sure where tho
PERSON 1: Seafood maybe?
PERSON 2: But the doctor has advised me not to eat any type of crushed Asians
PERSON 1: What do you mean?
PERSON 2: Like crabs and stuff.
– proudsquid125
PERSON 1: Hi
PERSON 2: Bone jaw
PERSON 1: What?
PERSON 2: Bone jaw
PERSON 2: Are you dumb
PERSON 1: ??!!
PERSON 2: It’s French for hello dumbass.
– IShotTheMH370
A Twitter post:
Does Wendy’s still do the for for for?
The reply:
My dude would you like to buy a vowel?
– aildeokl
PERSON 1: I’m not an English major, but is “Ten words I can spell right are…” grammatically correct? Should it not be “correctly?”
PERSON 2: I am not an English major either, but I think “right” and “correct” are cinnamons.
– cloudish94
PERSON 1: Is it allah cart?
PERSON 2: LMAOOO what?
PERSON 1: The restaurant, is it allah cart?
PERSON 2: It’s a la carte you cement head.
– gordoncrisp
What’s that Spanish Christmas song? It goes like “The least knobby dot”!
– gnarw0lff
The Twitter post:
At the end of the day, we are all human beans.
The reply:
And together, we will rice.
– raelaj
The Facebook post:
So they clothes school tomorrow?
The response:
“They shirt it down.”
– Legend927
The tweet:
I hate grapes. They discuss me.
The reply:
What they be saying?
– Kes0n
PERSON 1: My ears keep ringing.
PERSON 1: Do I have tonight tits?
PERSON 2: What?
PERSON 1: Ten nights its
PERSON 2: You mean tinnitus?
PERSON 1: Whatever shut up.
– W1TH1N
CLIENT: Do you do lemonade?
ME: Do we do… lemonade?
CLIENT: Yes, I was told you do that here.
ME: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.
CLIENT: I know that, I’m not an idiot.
ME: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–
CLIENT: Look, if you can’t lemoade these papers for me I’ll go somewhere else!
ME: Do you mean… laminate?
– ElSodium
Just remembered a first date I was on, circa 13 years ago, when the guy said “anyway, I digest” instead of “anyway, I digress.”
– Jamesxxxiii
The tweet:
I want my first born to be a mail child.
The reply:
Keep us posted.
– Treygalle
But then who is providing that cheese?
Kids mispronouncing things is super adorable but at some point I will have to tell my daughter we don’t put Farmer John cheese on spaghetti.
– tj_barrett
PERSON 1: How do you spell walfus.
PERSON 1: The leggo my eggo things.
PERSON 1: Walfools
PERSON 1: Wall
PERSON 1: Fools
PERSON 1: How do you spell it
PERSON 2: Waffles???
– Shxcking
Wait, this evening?
Saw this girl on IG and thought she was cute. Saw her in real life, trashhhhh. Looks can be this evening.
– FunnyID
I just deleted a very good friend for posting “Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or mister meaner.”
– dancingCoconut5
PERSON 1: Or is he
PERSON 1: Too shea
PERSON 2: Did you mean… touche?
– beetlejuice5
The tweet:
I took these with my iPhone X. Camera quality so surreal it’s like Leonardo DiCaprio painted them.
The reply:
Not to be confused with award-winning actor Leonardo DaVinci.
– Dagobian_Fudge
Cannot pay attention at all while doing my homework, I think I got eight the HD.
– NineMoreBurgers
I love when I can smell a guy’s colon as he walks by. [heart eyes emoji]
– LolznTrollz
PERSON 1: You look for meal your…
PERSON 2: What
PERSON 1: Like I met you before.
– jmilleon
I don’t know why you had to get political man, I used to love your videos but once you touch politics you aliens ate half the population that watches them.
– CaptainFartGlove
PERSON 1: Say the magic words, and you can have it.PERSON 2: Haha, I don’t know. Open scissor me.PERSON 1: What the heck.
– puq123
Just because autism rate is increasing doesn’t mean it is caused by vaccines. Remember, correlation, not caucasian.
– indonesianfurry
I was thinking about getting a cow zone or something from the pizza place.
– EdRosenbruins
PERSON 1: Just solid black with a gold Florida lee.
PERSON 2: What is a Florida Lee?
PERSON 1: Like the Saints symbol.
PERSON 2: HAHAHA it’s a fleur de lis.
– RTROTA
PERSON 1: Yo
PERSON 1: What up
PERSON 2: I got some Mary wanna
PERSON 1: What?
PERSON 2: Mary wana
PERSON 2: You know
PERSON 2: Weeb
PERSON 1: I’m not a weeb
PERSON 1: Oh
PERSON 1: OH
PERSON 1: Oh my god
PERSON 1: Marijuana
– Cevmen
PERSON 1: Ahahaha my parents are probably gonna buy flaming young and a cake.PERSON 2: What the heck is flaming young?PERSON 2: Please don’t tell me you mean filet mignon.
– CEM2890
PERSON 1: Okay shoot yourself, could’ve been pizza Monday.
PERSON 2: Shoot myself??
PERSON 1: Yeah I’m getting pizza.
PERSON 2: You meant to say “suit yourself.”
PERSON 1: Wait is that really how it’s said?
PERSON 2: Yes.
– twotimetony
PERSON 1: Can you keep the costume?
PERSON 1: We could be drastic park!
PERSON 2: lol Excuse me?
PERSON 2: What park?
PERSON 1: Drastic!
PERSON 1: With the dinos!
PERSON 2: Oh no baby no
– roozer94
From a movie review:
Very decent psychological thriller. It uses enough visuals to get your heart pumping and keep you on the edge of your feet.
– Chrisnelson
Did you ever see that musical The Fathom of the Opera?
Can not phantom how gorgeous this woman is!!
– ThunderCr0tch
I never accept friend requests from men whose profile says “windowed” … I just assume they killed their first wife.
– jpmenuez
