Life is not like it's always been. We're all learning things about ourselves. We're learning things about how many people love toilet paper. And surprisingly, we're learning some unexpected things about our spouses.
As many people transition to working at home, we're suddenly privy to what our partners sound like when they're working. And let me tell you: it is not what we expected. You thought you knew your partner. You've been married for years. And then they get on their first conference call and drop the word "synergy" and you're filing for divorce.
Who knew it would come down to this?
If you want to hear the best stories of spouses discovering the dark Work Spouse, just keep reading. We've uncovered some truly horrific examples of people being insufferable prats while working from home. The good part? It's all entirely hilarious.
It all started with one simple Tweet.
A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to… https://t.co/R0BSzmYffO— Laura Norkin (@Laura Norkin)1584637907.0
Other people chimed in with their experiences.
@inLaurasWords My wife works from home full-time, but I remember the day I realized she was the "one more question"… https://t.co/nkjt90nvqE— Steven Lancaster (@Steven Lancaster)1584643131.0
It's even tougher when they follow you on Twitter.
@SLLancaster @inLaurasWords One more question though: did you remember your wife follows you on Twitter? 🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/RurX6knbwS— Kit Lancaster (@Kit Lancaster)1584650468.0
It's not always that the partner has a bad work persona.
@inLaurasWords My partner is laid back and chilled about everything, never has much of an opinion or argument, but… https://t.co/NI9kt4akv2— Rachy (@Rachy)1584643476.0
And it's not just the words people use that change.Some people speak with an entirely different voice! It's like customer service voice for the office.
Now we're all wondering about the people we love to hate in the office.
@inLaurasWords @AngryBlackLady I was once in a meeting with a corporate bro who said “let me take a moment to curat… https://t.co/k6v7J1AQK2— MayorOfDunningKrugerville (@MayorOfDunningKrugerville)1584641436.0
Not all work personas are bad.
@inLaurasWords I’m married to “just to clarify”— Weary Luo Woman (@Weary Luo Woman)1584644505.0
But there are some lines that can't be crossed.
@inLaurasWords If he says he’s “out of pocket” you might want to just inject him with the ‘rona— ⚖️Imani Gandy ⚖️ (@⚖️Imani Gandy ⚖️)1584641083.0
But at least there are people like this guy who give us hope.
@inLaurasWords @sqiouyilu The first time I saw Work Husband I was thrilled to find he was a “I don’t think Laura was done speaking” guy.— Leslie J. Anderson (@Leslie J. Anderson)1584668670.0
It just hurts to find out that he's not the person you thought he was.
@inLaurasWords Mine said “why don’t we table that and revisit it in a couple days… “Who the fuck is he? We’ve never… https://t.co/9GPooP2DCT— Ann Smith (@Ann Smith)1584650005.0
It's not even just corporate jargon.
@inLaurasWords My husband used the word “mollycoddled” on a call the other day. I have no words.— Michelle Dittmer (@Michelle Dittmer)1585836948.0
Some people have been hiding skills from their spouses.
@inLaurasWords Turns out my husband can actually small talk, just not with anyone we know in non-work life.— Dr Jacqueline Sievert Hardt (@Dr Jacqueline Sievert Hardt)1584642597.0
A few people were self-aware enough to out themselves.
@inLaurasWords Since I’m here, I’ll just self-confess: Yesterday, I caught myself “giving you a few minutes back in… https://t.co/TLFwryScT7— Harman Danger (@Harman Danger)1584744403.0
Which is probably how we end up with this guy...If I heard someone say "I'm giving you a few minutes back in your day" I'd probably assume they were an idiot too.
A good work persona can add some spice back into the marriage.
@inLaurasWords My man says “noted” when he really wants to say “go fuck yourself, we are not doing that.” I find his restraint kinda sexy.— Dana4Donuts (@Dana4Donuts)1584708243.0
Professionalism can be unsettling though.It's like a spooky mask that your partner wears until they can't be fired for saying "f***."
Some spouses aren't afraid to call out their significant other.It's entirely possible your SO doesn't have a bad work persona: they may just have entirely boring work. And that's ok.
Can you imagine being married to this guy?
@inLaurasWords Mine is the "stupid office joke" guy. Please stop. Do they not realise it hurts and nobody thinks th… https://t.co/2QzAeqK49Z— Covid19 Rapunzel (@Covid19 Rapunzel)1584810470.0
Ok this one is even creepier than every other possibility.
@inLaurasWords I realized by husband is exactly the same at work as at home. Like ... what kind of wierdo doesn’t p… https://t.co/KLYkkL4gpG— Agata de Reyes (@Agata de Reyes)1584887465.0
Oooh now this one is juicy.
@inLaurasWords Mine is a ‘per my previous comments about this’ condescending prick and I love it.— Mariam Ketner (@Mariam Ketner)1585356711.0
Isn't it wild how people have completely different skills at work?
@inLaurasWords Turns out mypartner is the hot shot abnoxiously smart “efficient” guy. Makes decisions, solves probl… https://t.co/VgXSgOtjau— Jordan Anderson (@Jordan Anderson)1585979660.0
There are some other horrifying realizations in this thread.
@inLaurasWords Hearing my wife in meetings--especially with subordinates--and it dawns on me that she uses personne… https://t.co/9khvCX7N6L— Clancy, Use the Remote (@Clancy, Use the Remote)1584648837.0
Some folks have flaws that are unique to their work life.
@inLaurasWords My husband can make it to things on time 🤨🤨 but apparently not to things not related to work— Shawnda (@Shawnda)1585971123.0
Some people just go too far.
@inLaurasWords I once heard my other half tell his new client that he looked forward to 'finding some synergy'. I t… https://t.co/v0JZOile16— Jo Watson CMgr MCMI (@Jo Watson CMgr MCMI)1586121252.0
Are there people who truly don't know that all phones display your name now?I know who you are. If I didn't, I would not have answered the phone.
I will not be reaching out to anyone.
@inLaurasWords I heard my husband @studioprisoner say “reach out to IT” and I was dead. 🤣— KellieisComing (@KellieisComing)1585777271.0
Since we're all stuck inside for who knows how long...You're going to have to make this entertaining if you want your relationship to survive.
Here's an update for this guy:
@inLaurasWords @christinawilkie I'm married to "for the love of Christ" guy who calls everyone "Chief"— Marian (she/her) (@Marian (she/her))1584644027.0
You can hear the light indignation in this one.
@inLaurasWords @Luvvie My husband has learned I am the “let’s make sure that this is brand-aligned” person and is mildly horrified— Victoria Barbieri (@Victoria Barbieri)1584648624.0
If you want to play the full game...
@inLaurasWords It’s time for BINGO! https://t.co/7MbPKyL4xz— Healthcare 🇺🇸Voter (@Healthcare 🇺🇸Voter)1584644810.0