Most of the pictures you see of kids on the Internet are super charming and lovely. They’re either giving up their allowance to buy their siblings a gift, donating their toys to someone in need, starting a lemonade stand to raise money for cancer research — you know, all that cute, mushy stuff.
Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s all a ruse. I mean, sure — some kids may do nice things some of the time. But in reality, kids can be downright brutal. It’s amazing that they don’t all grow up to be supervillains. Anyone who doesn’t believe me probably hasn’t spent enough time around kids to know the truth — and you should count yourself lucky!
I’m not innocent, either. When I was little, my mom and I were watching Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella one day when I asked her if she had wanted to be Cinderella when she was little. She said that she had, and then little me turned around, looked her up and down and said: “You didn’t quite make it, did ya?” WHO DOES THAT?!
Luckily, I turned out mostly non-evil, so maybe there’s hope for these kids, too.