When you first get a pet, you may have big dreams of training them to perform certain tricks and tasks. And while it's certainly possible to teach your pets all manner of amazing behaviors, after a while, you start to realize that your pet is also training you. It doesn't take long for your pet to establish a certain set of rules that you must follow...or else.

For instance, my dog insists on having his ears rubbed first thing in the morning, as soon as he wakes up. If you fail to rub his ears the instant he is awake, he will lay on top of you and smush his ears into your face until you comply. It's adorable, but it also makes me wonder who's really in charge. Just kidding. I know it's him.

A recent AskReddit thread asked people to share the house rules their own cats, dogs, and even seagulls have established. Here are some of our faves.

Answer me!

If my parrot asks "what are you doing?", anyone in the immediate vicinity must respond with what they're doing. He will throw a tantrum he doesn't get an answer._texas_redd_


If I sneeze, my cat will meow softly and walk over to me and pat me on my face until I pick him up and tell him, "Don't worry; it was only a sneeze."VelocityRAPTOR33

Maintain eye contact.

When my 14-year-old old grandma kitty is constipated, she needs me to watch her poop. She'll do these real deep meows and won't stop 'til I follow her to the litter box where she sits in the middle and tries to poop. We keep eye contact the entire time. If I look away, she stops trying to poop and does the deep meows again. Her normal meows are very high pitched, so it's easy to tell when she's constipated.FloatfulClouds

A little less noise, there!

My BF and I have to pretty much shut up after 9 pm or else my dog (who is trying to sleep) will groan really loud. We could be mid-conversation or laughing and she will do it really loud.ohjeegolly

Secrets secrets are no fun.

No whispering...ever. My Pyr/Berner mix will make a growling "woooo" sound from the other room if you whisper to someone else, or to yourself. If you continue to whisper, he will come out to admonish you in person. No secrets in my house.Xerowz

This is my spot.

When I was a kid, my dog slept in the middle of my bed and I slept on the trundle. For four years.EfficientAirport


I need to tuck my dog in, or he'll scratch the door and whine to be let back in. I need to call him into his house and say goodnight, and before he goes he'll turn on his back for me to scratch his tummy. It's our bedtime routine.burymeinpink


If I try to have a conversation with my boyfriend or talk on the phone while my cat is asleep on me she will roll on her back and shout at me. If I still don't stop, she gets up and puts her paw over my mouth.ApatheticPumpkin

You may pet me now.

My cat has a Petting Space that is strangely close to her food. Oftentimes, if you try to pet her, she'll lead you to the Petting Space where she'll roll around, act all cute, ask to be combed until she decides she's done. She'll then promptly go to her bowl and have a snack. She'll also go over to the Petting Space on her own accord and meow quite loudly. That's her demanding to be petted so she can eat.tuba4lunch

Smack it.

If my dog stands in front of you, looks back, and puts her butt near you, you must smack the booty.texxmix

Let's go!

My beagle must go to bed by 10:30 and will stand at the stairs trying to tell us she’s tired. If we don’t listen, she goes to a room and lays on a bed and goes to sleep.wyatteffnearp

Bathroom habits.

My girlfriend's dog has to be let out in the morning to go, and then again 45 minutes later to poop. She is incapable of doing them at the same time.AdeptAlfalfa

A pet seagull?!

I must not put the light on in the middle of the night if I get up to use the toilet. The seagull sleeps in a basket and gets annoyed if the light wakes him up, and he'll then swqwark loudly until the light goes off thus risking waking the neighbors. The upside of this is that unlike the wild seagulls who get up sqwarking as soon as the sun rises in the early morning, my seagull has also implemented his own rule that he does not get out of his basket or make a noise until I get up after the sun rises, which means that even if I stay in bed till noon, there is not a peep out of the seagull until then.BECKYISHERE

Transport me, servant.

Our idiot cat, Potato, is a spoiled princess who won’t eat her food unless someone picks her up and gently sets her in front of her bowl. My boyfriend encourages and enables this behavior to the point where now if you put food in her dish she won’t even look at it unless she’s carried over.whiskey_riverss

Never going back.

When I had cats, we had a sink that we never really used. When I felt lazy, I just let that sink drip instead of filling up their bowl. For the rest of their lives, they wouldn’t drink out of the bowl anymore, only front the dripping faucet. Oops.Avethis

Gotta pay the toll!

We call it "paying the toll." Our doxie will instantly steal your spot if you get up to go to the bathroom or something, and she won't move until you've sufficiently rubbed the belly. So to get your seat back you have to pay the toll!wishingthebathwater

The cat's rules.

My mother's cat was having some health issues... so I usually stop in to check on her when my mom is working and feed her. The cat rules appear to be as follows: I must never go to the bathroom alone. The door must be open so she can anxiously watch and ascertain that I won't be swept away by that flushy toilet thing When I feed her, I must move her dish and feed her by the front door. Everyone else may feed her where she usually eats, but not me, or she will go on a hunger strike. This is not strictly enforced, but she'd prefer I wear the winter coat with the long strings with it so she can bat them around, even if it is springtime and much warmer now. If I'm a good human I get the best of rewards...kitty kisses, which consist of pressing her nose up against mine, which IS the most adorable thing I may have ever experienced. Believe it or not, usually I'm a dog person, but this cat is pretty alright. :Dlilyvale

Let's go for a drive!

If he doesn't get a drive in the car every day — that's right a drive, not a walk — he sulks. If he knows he is definitely going for a drive, he runs up and down like crazy and body slams you with all of his 55kg. It hurts, but his excitement is also so unbelievably cute that you can't stop him.FabulousPainting

Please clap.

If he gives you the "sparkly eyes" you must chase him, call his name and clap loudly so he can run around like a speed demon. The clapping is mandatory.FabulousPainting

Only one toy will do.

There is a "right" toy to play with that changes every day. You must try all 20 toys until you get the right one.FabulousPainting

Sleeping arrangements.

I have to sleep with my back to my BF so the cat can snuggle into my hair while smelling BFs breath.colesnap

Time to get up!

My cat kicks me out of my bed by 9 am whenever I try to sleep in. On weekdays, he prompts me to leave my bed by 7 am so he can sleep in the bed.carbonthepolarbear

Where's my egg?

One time I made scrambled eggs and I gave my dog a quarter of an egg worth of it (it was just pure egg, no salt or pepper or anything else). Now every time I make scrambled eggs my dog just assumes he's getting some and guilts me if I don't. And I usually give in.chloe2120


My dogs will run over from wherever they are in the house when they hear me opening the fridge drawer because that's where their carrots are. Fridge drawer = carrots, or else.burymeinpink

That's my seat.

When I was a kid, our house had a bean bag chair which our (large) dog had claimed. One day while we had family over, I was sitting in the chair since we had otherwise run out and our dog was obviously displeased. He walked over to me and stared at me for a few minutes. After telling him "no" he walked off and returned with a bone which he promptly dropped on my head. I got up, he laid down, and no one ever sat in his chair again. Family still laughs when this story is told.orchestraltrumpet

Don't say the B word.

You may look at the belly. You may even pet the belly. But you must not...ever...mention the belly. The second you speak out loud that you are viewing or interacting with the belly in any way, the belly disappears and is replaced by a very pissed-off cat. I think it's possible that he's insecure about his weight and/or just hates the word "belly" ("tummy" is OK though).kyothinks

Enjoying the view.

I was not allowed to stand and/or walk around without the cat being on my shoulder, for I am Tall and she was Wee.floggingmurphies

Watch me!

When we make Dora (our dog) her dinner, we have to wait — and watch — for her to finish (yes, FINISH) eating, else we'll be subjected to her crying in a corner for the rest of the evening/morning/etc. Also, once she's finished eating, she always comes over and "thanks" us by dropping a leftover chunk of meat in our laps and giving us kisses. Appealing, I know. Again, if we forget to do so, she sits in a corner and cries.xx-maya-may-grace

Put 'er there.

When my dog hears me getting his food ready, he points with his long nose at the place where his bowl goes repeatedly until I put it down. The Goodest of boyes.DeusExChimera

Ice time!

Whenever someone gets ice cubes from the fridge, they have to give one to my kitten to play with. He bolts towards the fridge any time he hears the ice dispenser because he's so stoked about getting another ice cube.katie3294