As a parent, you want to come off as wise and all-knowing as possible to your children. They ask a lot of questions (some of them hilarious), and it can be embarrassing when they ask something simple that you should know the answer to yet you're left completely stumped. I, for one, am dreading the day when my son will be able to ask me how the electoral college works or to point out Fiji on a map.
So when a father asked Reddit for some simple, fascinating facts, the internet was all about it. But the reason behind this request will make you swoon: He wanted to be able to tell his 4-year-old daughter one interesting fact per night before bedtime.
I'll wait here while you regain your composure after ugly crying.
So keep scrolling to see what the internet delivered. One major takeaway? Be kind to crows. They never forget those who wrong them, and they will mess you up.
"In Switzerland, it's illegal to own just one guinea pig."
via: Getty Images"If you have any, you have to have at least two. They get lonely!"-Dickcheese_McDoogles
"Some species of burrowing spiders keep teeny tiny frogs in their burrows to keep it free of bugs too small for the spider to get that might try to eat the spider's eggs."
via: Getty Images"This means that tiny frogs are spider cats."-The_First_Viking
"Horses have roughly a 350-degree field of vision around them with one of their two blind spots being in the front."
via: Getty Images"They can't see directly ahead for up to about four feet."-ThePerfectSnare
"Bananas are berries."
via: Getty Images"And they grow on banana plants, not banana trees."-what_ok
"Don't eat too many carrots or your skin will turn orange."
via: Getty Images"That happened to my own daughter!"-phillybookwoman
"Pineapples used to be so expensive..."
via: Getty Images"...that people would rent them as a centerpiece for their party."-swil-phift
"Humans are bioluminescent and glow in the dark."
via: Getty Images"But the light that we emit is 1,000 times weaker than our human eyes are able to pick up."-eDgAR-
"Pufferfish are full of water....not air."
via: Getty Images"I learned that at the ripe old age of 38. It's logical when I think about it but it never crossed my mind."-D-Evolve
"Lobsters were considered disgusting and low-class food, to the point that feeding them to prisoners too often was considered cruel and unusual punishment."
via: Getty Images
"Also, they're basically just big sea roaches."-Leifur311
"The distance from your inner elbow to your wrist is the same as the length of your foot."
via: Getty Images"This one is fun because it sounds insane (the forearm looks longer), but if you put your foot to your arm you see that's it's accurate."-aveganliterary
"A day on Venus takes longer to complete than a year on Venus."
via: Getty Images"How? It simply takes longer for Venus to do one complete rotation around its own axis than it does for the planet to rotate around the sun."-AmerisaurausRex
"A Siamese cat's fur color is dependent on its body temperature."
via: Getty Images"That’s why the colder areas of the body such as the nose, paws, and tail are darker than the rest."-MudSlappers
"The sleepiest mammals are armadillos, sloths, and opossums."
via: Getty Images"They sleep roughly 80% of their lives."-wowwoahwow
"Elephants are really good at swimming."
via: Getty Images"There have been a few cases where ships carrying an elephant (as part of a circus act, for a zoo, etc) would sink far away from land, only for the elephant to just kind of show up on the shore several days later a little worse for wear. They use their trunks as snorkels."-Pseudonymico
"The alarm pheromone released by honey bees smells just like bananas."
via: Getty Images"That's why banana scented lotion and shampoo are a bad idea."-iowan
"Pennies were introduced in 1787, and more than 300 billion pennies have been made."
via: Getty Images"Now there are about 150 billion pennies, enough to wrap around the earth 137 times."-wowwoahwow
"The largest bone in the human body is the femur."
via: Getty Images"It can support 30 times the weight of a person's body. Ounce for ounce, that's stronger than steel."-[deleted]
"Parrotfish are responsible for most of the sand in the world."
via: Getty Images"They eat coral looking for the good stuff and spit out the chewed up pieces which happen to now be sand."-fatbobross
"The jump rope dates back to around 400 years ago."
via: Getty Images"Egyptian children used to jump over vines."-wowwoahwow
"You are physically able to bite your own thumb off with ease..."
via: Getty Images"...but your body automatically prevents you from using full force."-George-Newman1027
"Fleas can jump around 130times their own height."
via: Getty Images"So if a flea were a person six feet high, it can jump 780 feet high just like that. No superpowers needed!"-etymologynerd
"A cat's whiskers are as long as their body is wide."
via: Getty Images"That way they can stick their nose into small spaces and know if they'll fit."-wighttail
"The buttons on women’s clothes are on the opposite side than men’s clothes."
via: Getty Images"This is because, in olden times, women were dressed by maidservants and it was easier for them to button up."-does-it-rly-matter
"A human's eyes are the same size for their entire life."
via: Getty Images"But, your ears and nose will continue to grow for your entire life because they're cartilage, not bone."-freenarative
"You’re the tallest right when you wake up and shortest at the end of the day."
via: Getty Images
"By almost a centimeter!"-Plamadude30k
"Garbage cans at Walt Disney World are 30 feet apart consistently."
via: Getty Images"Walt Disney himself observed that park-goers would only carry trash about 30 feet before throwing it on the ground."-HE_HATES_THESE_CANS_
"Winnie the Pooh was named after a real black bear that lived at the London Zoo."
via: Getty Images"Among the people who visited the popular bear was Christopher Robin Milne, son of “Winnie the Pooh" author A.A. Milne."-prof_dynamite
"Crows can remember faces, and gossip to their friends about people who have treated them badly so they can avoid or even attack them next time they see them."
via: Getty Images"They also remember good deeds, so if you feed them, they’ll be kind to you, and sometimes even give you little presents they find (lost jewelry, shiny plastic, screws, and nails, etc)."-semifragile