Indian Hills is a small community outside Denver, Colorado. It's an unassuming little town, except for the fact that they have this sign. It sits outside the town community center, and every few days, a new hilarious message gets posted on it. Most of them are puns.
The man in charge of the sign is a legend named Vince Rozmiarek, who has been updating the sign every few days for five years after one experimental April Fool's Day joke got a great reaction. In those five years, the Indian Hills Community Sign has reached mythic status. It even has its own Facebook page.
Here are 30 stand-out puns and funny messages from the Indian Hills Community Sign, which will be your new favorite sign.
I call my horse
via: FacebookKicking things off with a mayonnaise pun to let you know how seriously funny this is going to get. I don't know if you're prepared for this.
Assault with cheese
via: FacebookI'm reading this with two different inflections, and it's so fun. The first is, "How dare he?!" which is the pun. The second is, "How DAIry!" like, "Oh, sooooo dairy!"
Hope you're happy
via: FacebookIf we put aside the fact that it's a really messed up thing to steal someone's antidepressants, this is an A+ pun.
via: FacebookGet it?! Productive! With counters!
via: FacebookThis sounds like a solid plan of action to me. The next one will take us to our friends to the north.
via: FacebookIs he talking about draining an entire country of his liquids or is he talking about that certain brand of ginger ale?
via: FacebookThe first part of the sentence leads me to believe it's a motorcycle, but the second half leads me to believe it's a bicycle, which would be way crazier.
Pass the bar
via: FacebookGet it?! They couldn't pass the bar exam, but they also couldn't pass the bar without going inside and getting a drink. PUN!
The last thing
via: FacebookThis is just...a true statement. And it's also a pun. Good work, Vince.
via: FacebookThis isn't technically true. Flat-earthers also have to fear my absolute wrath at their ignorance. The next one is for pirate lovers out there.
The one eye love
via: FacebookARRRRRRRen't they so cute together? (That's pirate speak, in case you didn't know.)
via: FacebookGet it? Because parsley is often used as a garnish. But I think parsley is better than that. I do. Sometimes, it deserves to be in the center of the plate.
via: FacebookLove a good bit of sarcasm. Just what the Indian Hills Community Sign was lacking. Sure, it had puns. But it was sorely lacking in sarcasm until now.
via: FacebookWhat? It's true.
via: FacebookAll you have to do to get rid of your debt is budget. I mean, budge it. Or do I mean budget? The next one is for all the smarties in the audience.
via: FacebookThe, uh, *ahem* current administration seems to be proof that this statement is true. Very true. Super true. The most true a statement can be.
via: FacebookIf you jump off the Paris bridge, you are insane. But you are also probably in the Seine river.
via: FacebookThis is nice. But "recovered" implies that he was covered before. How many times do you fall into the upholstery machine before they don't let you near the upholstery machine anymore?
via: FacebookNow we're getting meta! A punny sign about a pun about communism? This ones for the intellectuals out there.
Fear of moving stairs
via: FacebookThis may be one of the most solid puns on the list. Bravo, Vince. The next one is pretty good too, though.
What ales ya
via: FacebookWhile I don't believe this is sound medical advice, it is a pretty masterful pun, so it's up to you whether or not you want to follow it.
via: FacebookThey dilate! Get it? They die late! I don't think this is an actual statistic, though.
via: FacebookThis is very true. Bagpipes are long and point and very dangerous. Might as well be running with a bag of knives.
Bread in captivity
via: FacebookOK, along with an escalating fear of moving stairs, this might be one of the top puns on the list. Especially because now I'm picturing a baguette in a cage.
via: FacebookThis is one of those that has a double meaning. I'd really like to see an alligator that has 20 feet. The next one is for all the nerds out there, which is probably everyone reading and enjoying this list of puns.
You have my word
via: FacebookYou have it. You have my Word. Give me back my Word.
via: FacebookThat's what botany is, right? In order to plant flowers, you have to buy some. If you haven't botany, you can't plant them.
via: FacebookThis is so silly and I love it so much. Just making sure... The Doritos farm was made up for this joke, right? It doesn't actually exist?
via: FacebookHeyo! Carb lover right here, ready to give you a high five for this delectable pun!
via: FacebookThere is no joke here. The Facebook caption for this one reads, "Unfortunately, this is no joke. We lost our calendar data." That makes this the funniest sign of the whole bunch! Share this with your punniest friend!