20 Statements That Will Really Mess With Your Head When You Stop to Think for a Second

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Deep thinkers catch a bad wrap. Take it from me. I studied under some of the world’s most renowned modern philosophers in college. Yet, upon sharing my decision to officially study the fine art of thinking, I was not exactly comforted by others.

An English professor responded by asking me if I planned to sit on a log and think my whole life. My Dad merely asked me if I planned on also minoring in “bong.”

And yes, I was thoroughly warned of the oh-so-original question that all philosophy majors are apparently left asking after graduation, once, twice or seventy times…”But WHY would you like fries with that?”

The thing is, I did plan on thinking my entire life. And while I didn’t officially minor in “bong,” I still feel that I, at least, deserved some type of honorable mention for my efforts.

But the truth is, underneath the triviality of our functional day-to-day thought processes, we’re all philosophers. When we aren’t engaging in the surface level thinking that modern life requires in order to be a semi-functioning human being, we all find ourselves pondering the same philosophical questions of existence, meaning, morality, and logic.

So when a Reddit post posed the question, “What concept f*cks you up the most?,” I knew that commenters wouldn’t disappoint in their responses.

In fact, they far exceeded my expectations. By exposing the common concepts that we all existentially wrestle with at one time or another, these comments remind us all just how many ideas mess with our heads when we really stop to think about them.

The social media philosophers were quick to delve into profound philosophical questions involving life and death, space and time, issues of identity and existence, and cause and effect theory.


Commenter Rootkit9208 wasted no time, diving headfirst into the thread’s emotional deep end when he paused to ponder this inexplicable fact of life. He writes:

If I get married and stay married, then I will someday bury my wife. If I don’t, she will bury me.
The sadness of either of these things is horrible.
 
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His comment exposes the inevitable loss we all sign up for each time we invite happiness into our lives… and the irony that is inherent in this harsh reality.
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But another commenter was quick to jump in, offering a silver lining to Rootkit9208’s dark and impending raincloud of doom. Reddit user t33m3r really knows how to cheer a guy up.
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He writes:
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If it make[s] you feel better you guys might die together in a car crash or something.
Way to look on the bright side, t33m3r. There truly is always an alternative conclusion to consider.



 “I love the positive vibe here,” writes PapaEmiritus.
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I know I’m feeling hopeful.
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“You never directly see your own face,” DWillows points out. Yet another commenter is quick to suggest that, perhaps, there’s a pathological sense of self-preservation responsible for this perplexing law of nature.          


mr_popcorn‘s air-tight argument:
Nicolas Cage did, and it made him crazy.
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mr_popcorn
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What trips out Reddit thread contributor thebenefitofbalance:
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The fact that no matter how many times you and a billion of your friends shuffle a deck of playing cards, you’ll probably never shuffle it into an order that any deck has already been in. There are significantly more permutations for the order of cards in a deck of 52 than the total number of seconds that the universe has existed. F***d. Up. Yes, you can choose to deliberately put a deck into an order it’s been in before. Don’t be that guy. We’re randomly shuffling here.  


Something that really boggles spyro_96:
Clapping. At what point was a human so excited by something that they repeatedly slapped their own hands together in approval of something? Did we watch seals do it first and copy them? People are weird.
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It’s true. We feel as if the inclination is natural, yet, in reality, clapping is actually a completely learned reaction to an emotional response. We may excitedly collide our flattened hands together as a means to express satisfaction, while German’s pound their fists onto a surface. Therefore, spyro_96‘s conclusion remains sound. People are weird.


WindowClwn shares:
Time definitely f*cks me up. Like it’s relative to the individual, like if a colleague says the day dragged on but for you it flew by. And there’s all this stuff you gotta do and see but time man. It just goes.

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 joshdts illustrates this concept further by quoting a film:
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“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”  



According to Nova_or_logan:
Eventually the universe will rip itself apart and all distances will become infinite.
But he wasn’t done yet. He continues…
Also, nothing can save you from death.
 
 

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“Not with that attitude!,” Time_splitter wittingly interjects and thus invites philosophy of perception to the great debate.


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Time_splitter
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zadsar was having his own personal Descartes moment when he piped in on the post.
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That there is no way of knowing if anybody else is real. I can’t see what or if you think, so I can come to a situation where I think only I am real and all other people are just robots.

Whether he knew that his deep epiphany had previously been considered by philosopher Rene Descartes is ultimately irrelevant. Afterall, did Descartes even exist? We’ll never know.

What we do know: zadsar thinks; therefore, he is one paranoid dude.




POTUSKNOPE shares this thought process gem:
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That during metamorphosis, a caterpillar loses all physical shape. Like inside the cocoon is just a bunch a mush. No one has ever really figured out what goes on while they are in there because if you open the cocoon it completely stops the process, kills the caterpillar, and doesn’t provide you with any information other than the cocoon is full of mush. The weirdest part is that they’ve done studies, and though the mush contains no neurological remnants or brain, the butterfly retains memories from when it was a caterpillar. What the actual f*ck?
I can’t answer that, POTUSKNOPE. What I can tell you is that you have successfully also turned our brains into mush, but in the best post possible way.
 



Kevinvac wants to talk semantics.
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He writes:
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Technically cold isn’t real, it’s just the lack of heat. So, you don’t cool your drink off with ice. You heat your ice with your drink.


As long as my latte is hot and my frappucino is cold, I’m not asking any further questions.

ManMan36 felt the need to remind moms everywhere of this certainty:

You only clean things by getting other things dirty.
Say it ain’t so, ManMan36.Yet, I know this fact to be an unfortunate certainty which results from two unyielding forces of nature: The Laws of Cause and Effect and My children


With one simple sentence, water42 conveys an idea that has burst more than just a few valuable cells in all of our brains. What is it that keeps him up at night?

That I’m me and not somebody else.
While some days this realization brings gratitude and others it evokes profound disappointment, one variable remains unchanged; life is a real trip.



Reddit commenter felula realizes:

Fuuuuck this was not the thread to read high.

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Yet Ilurkindadark digs deeper:

Actually, maybe it was exactly the thread to read high.

Thanks for keeping the dream alive, guys. You’re proof that one does not need a fancy degree, or even a bong, to blow minds.