Most people become wiser as they grow older.
But that’s not the way it works for everyone.
Some people manage not to really understand how life works at all.
A recent AskReddit thread asked Redditors to share stories of people they knew who clearly had no idea how the real world works.
Their stories are honestly kind of insane.
My cousin and I were talking one day, and I mentioned that I had a horrible sense of direction, whereas my brother could be dropped off in a cornfield and find his way home.
She replied that it was easy to find your direction, just remember “Never Eat Shredded Wheat,” and you will know where North is.
I laughed and said that was for remembering the directions in order, not for finding which way was which.
We argued for 20 minutes until I told her to show me how it works.
She stands up and point forward and says “Never Eat Shredded Wheat!” and points to the direction she was facing when she stood up. “That’s North!”
So I told her to face me and then find North. She does it again… “Never Eat Shredded Wheat!” and points at me and says “that’s North.”
So ask her if North just changed? She says no. “But North was that way a minute ago?”
She looks confused and says “Why didn’t that work?”
I told her it was because she was an idiot. –jmsturm
Do you not know what the word “rent” means?
Guy sold his Rent-a-Center TV…
…And couldn’t understand why they threatened to charge him for theft. –maaritt
This was cute until I realized how old he was.
My brother wanted to be a “game designer.” I asked how that was going and what he had been doing.
Mom had gone to Walmart to pick up some art supplies so he could get “Designing.”
He did not really know what coding was in terms of game design and did not know graphic design.
He thought he could simply just draw up some swords and guns and shields and someone would pay him to do this for a living. With zero experience.
He’s almost 30. –jenniferjuniper
Careers take work.
My little brother was adamant that he would grow up to be an actor all through high school without trying to pursue any acting-related things.
Quit drama club freshman year and never looked back. Didn’t work towards getting into an acting program in college.
Spent more time on his video games than acting, but I guess he was just banking on being discovered and put into roles due to handsomeness.
It’s hard enough to make that dream work for people who are actually trying. –reallifegarnet
This next story is actually a little sweet.
Just use elbow grease!
I worked on a group project with these two girls in high school.
We had met up at a library over the weekend and when I pulled into the parking lot one of them said something about my car.
I said “Yeah, I love this car but someone keyed it in a parking lot all down the passenger side. Look how deep it is!”
I told her I couldn’t fix it beyond some touch-up paint either because that would require sanding it down and all that.
She looked me dead in the eye with a look like I was crazy and said “Well why don’t you go buy some elbow grease? I hear that fixes everything.”
Girl had heard about “just give it some elbow grease” and got it into her head that this was a product you could buy to fix just about anything.
She did not contribute much to our group project. –MountainMantologist
And on the eighth day, there was light.
They lived with a dark bedroom for 7 days waiting for the real estate of their rental property to come and change the light bulb.
If only that was the way it worked.
Had a woman call into work (banking) and ask for her mortgage payoff.
It was like 40-thousandish…. she said there was no way that was right because her payment book only had 3 more coupons in it and she thought it was done when the coupons were.
She couldn’t comprehend that she had a 30-year mortgage and that she didn’t get a coupon book for all 30 years, she only got three years at a time and because she had an adjustable rate.
I had to call backups to explain to her that she still owed 27 more years. –MadMadGirl
He obviously didn’t major in “real life.”
A fellow college student said, “I don’t understand why other students keep looking for free food. If they really need more money, why don’t they just get more student loans?”
I had to explain to him that, at some point, they stop giving you student loans.
Also that not everyone had parents who were willing/able to support their children.
And that even if you did pull out more loans, then that’s more money you have to pay back after university compared to your expected entry-level pay schedule in your field. –pepepenguin
Yeah. That’s not gonna happen.
At our marriage prep retreat, there was a couple who was 20/21 years old.
The girl was still in college; her fiancé worked at a radio station.
She said their plan was to get married right after she graduated and start having kids, and she would be a stay-at-home mom.
One of the other couples asked if they had discussed how the finances would work with that, and she said she doesn’t have any bills right now so it shouldn’t be that hard. –reddittwayone
This next story is of someone who decided to quit his jobs and play video games for a living.
It went about as well as you’d expect.
The delusional gamer.
A friend of mine decided to quit his job to become a Twitch streamer.
Right off the bat, I thought this was a stupid plan, but the real kicker was his timeline for his streaming career.
He told me he saved enough money to pay his bills for 1 month. ONE MONTH!
And after that, he would be making enough money from Twitch to pay his bills.
He seriously believed that after 1 month he would have between 2 and 3 hundred subs.
He refused to advise or use any social media.
He won’t play any triple A games or even popular games. A year and a half later he’s lost his apartment his car basically everything but his girlfriend, who he lives with.
But hey, he just hit 50 followers on twitch and got affiliated.
To him, this endeavor has been a total success. –Dr_Henry_Armitage
“Have your parents pay for it!”
I was good friends with this girl in college.
I knew she was spoiled (free rein of daddy’s credit card), but it was never a big deal.
After college, she couldn’t grasp why I couldn’t spend the next 6-12 months backpacking through Europe with her, which she wanted to do because she didn’t feel like getting a job yet.
The idea that I had to get a job to support myself and start paying back student loans was completely foreign to her.
Her answer to everything was “Have your parents pay for it!” Sorry honey, that is not how the real world works. –jeswesky
So many mistakes were made.
18-year-old arrives at his first Duty Station. He has contacted nobody. Nobody knows he is arriving today.
He has figured out (by stopping at different offices and asking) where our warehouse is and enters the office to meet his supervision…flanked by his girlfriend and his mother.
Later on, it is discovered that he fudged his numbers on all his previous fitness tests to that point, which is why he could barely do 25 pushups and couldn’t run to save his life.
Even later on, becomes hysterical, sobbing, panicking, begging and pleading when told he will deploy to Afghanistan.
Like everyone else in the squadron had been doing, for years. This was 2012. We were in logistics. We literally loaded airplanes all day. –moronicuniform
Met a guy at uni who thought Chinese people would be unaffected by the rise of superbugs because they were too smart to fall victim to it.
Both a pharmacy student and a Chinese person could not convince him otherwise. –lix64
Why would he buy another one?!
Got into a car accident in high school.
I was driving a car that cost me $300 (had been sitting on concrete blocks at a cousin’s, patched it and bought wheels) and I was absolutely devastated.
The kid who hit me wasn’t freaking out at all and kept saying his dad would get him another one, why was I so worried about an old car?
Once the dad got there, it turned out this is the third car his kid had wrecked. For that school year. –fuqmook
Next up is an ex-wife who needs a vocabulary lesson.
Shall I grab a dictionary?
My ex-wife demanded to know where I was going on vacation and who I was going with.
I had to explain to her for the 871st time what “divorced” meant. –Me2ExceptBillClinton
I would have told her it cost $50.
Someone at work asked if she needed to pay to use the microwave.
She decided it was too complicated to use and bought a $150 thermal lunchbox so she can take food that was cooked by her hired chef to work without needing to reheat it. –imonfiyar
No. No, they don’t.
An old friend (who’s Coca-Cola family) told my ex-bf (who was dirt poor), “Oh don’t worry, everyone has a trust fund, some parents just don’t tell you so you don’t rely on it.”
This was in high school. –paintedfeathers
What universe is this?
My dad asked if he could borrow my cat. I said no. He replied, “It’s OK, I’ll just rent one.”
I didn’t point out that cat rentals aren’t a thing. I still don’t know why he needed a cat. –phantom_panties
The nerve of this guy!
Former barista here. A customer came through drive-thru one afternoon, ordering a custom drink that cost about $5.
While on the phone, he dug change out of the corners of his van and handed me what amounted to less than $3.
I continued looking at him with my hand extended, half full of dirty coins, when he just shrugged and said, “That’s all I got.”
I repeated the total and said he hadn’t given me enough.
“Can’t you just spot me with your tips?”
Um, EXCUSE ME? First, no, that’s literally my grocery money, and second, our company had a strict policy against doing just that.
But I simply apologized and said no, I couldn’t do that.
He blew up at me, saying I wasn’t “being very neighborly.”
I again apologized and explained how I relied on my tip money to, you know, EAT.
Instead, he screamed at me again, “You suck, you REALLY suck!” before driving away. –Ser_Laughing_Tree
The friend in this next story needs a huge reality check.
I told my friend that I was saving up to get my bathroom remodeled and she said to me “What, still? It’s been two months!”
Yes dear, but I have to pay my bills/mortgage/travel/food/whatever else I may need.
She lives at home with her parents still and doesn’t have to pay any bills/rent to stay there. She’s in for a shock when she moves out. –Tabbinator
Good luck with that.
My ex-girlfriend was really guilty of this.
We dated all through college and didn’t really understand the extent to which taxes are taken out of a paycheck.
She also thought that everyone made 70-80k coming out of college.
So with this reasoning, she expected to live a lavish lifestyle as soon as she finished her degree.
There’s a reason she’s my ex. –Maydayman
I’m surprised this didn’t work out for him.
A friend of mine saw a guy getting arrested in college.
The kid was struggling and cussing out the cops like crazy. “Do you know who my father is?!”
A cop humored him and asked. “He owns the number one used car dealership in upstate New York!”
We were in Massachusetts. They were unimpressed by his legacy and took him in. –Barkingpanther
Someone I know bought a house and expected wifi to be included with the house.
It was a house, not an apartment including these kinds of facilities. Also, she meant not only wifi signal, but also the internet service. –RickNL90
One of my co-workers told me she couldn’t get the flu as an adult because she had it as a kid.
Next up: a college graduate who should probably go back to school.
Yep, you’re crazy!
I was stunned by how many people after school just expect to instantly get hired to a great position with great money.
I met my classmate 3 years later still jobless saying “Lol I finished school I won’t accept a job under xxx am I crazy?”
I knew he had no idea how anything works. –senrim
We’re hiring, and I’ve just received an email from this guy. Says he heard about the job, the position, and duration (it’s a contract position).
That’s it. No questions, no follow-up, no “here’s my number.” Not even an attached CV.
I don’t even know where to begin.
For all we know, he could be the most talented guy in the industry, but our fast-paced and constantly stressed out team might kill him before he could demonstrate his skills. –We_are_all_gold
I heard that CEOs make even more. How do I get that job?
I teach at a tech boot camp.
We were talking about career options the other day when a student (who, remember, has about a month of training and zero job experience in this field) was like “I watched a talk the other day by someone called a strategist.
I’m not sure what that title means but they said they made $250,000, so I want to be a strategist!”
That person got paid that money because they have 15 years of experience, not because of their title. Slow your roll.
You’re not going to find an ad on Indeed looking to spend six figures on a “strategist” with no experience. –clocksailor
There’s no way this plan could backfire.
My ex-gf dumped me because she said “I don’t want to work when I’m 30,” with the implication that I would not be able to support her stay-at-home lifestyle.
She’s currently pursuing a Masters in Psych, and she’ll be finished around 26 or 27.
Then she has 3 years which I assume she’ll practice counseling until she wants to stop working…at which point she expects some dude just to pay her way.
So she dumped me and found this dude who had his 10-year plan.
He was gonna get his undergrad, go to business school and then go to law school. So he’s not even going to finish school until about 29.
So then he’s got 1 year to start making enough money to support his wife who is no longer going to work for the rest of her life. –peekaayfire
Times have changed!
Last year, I got a job offer which required a move. I found a place, which required first and last as a deposit.
Unfortunately, I had been unemployed for the most of a year prior to this and didn’t have enough money to cover two months’ rent upfront (about €1500), as well as survive in the city for a month before I got my first paycheck.
So I asked my parents for help, which sucked but had to be done.
They flipped out at me because they genuinely thought that was too much and was more like a deposit to buy a house.
I spent many nights explaining to them that the modern world is not like it was in the seventies but to no avail.
They now want me to put a deposit on a house.
When I said I can’t afford that (because I can’t), they said it wasn’t a big deal, just get a 100 percent mortgage from the bank and pay it off over time. –Easy-Tigger
I can’t believe this next story takes place in grad school.
I’m attending grad school in Barcelona, and there are these two Colombian girls in my class who I’m pretty sure have never had to work for anything in life.
We just had our first final the other day, and while the test was hard, I thought it was pretty straightforward.
A few minutes into the exam, one of the girls raises her hand and says she doesn’t know what to do. Fair enough, the professor tells her to use class theories to answer the question asked.
She then said that she doesn’t know how to relate any class theories to the question.
I was literally sitting there, having already answered one question having used 4-5 different class topics to answer it.
I couldn’t understand why she was having such a hard time.
The other Colombian girl then says, “Can you just write on the board which theories you want us to use to answer?”
She basically asked the professor of a grad school class to answer a question for her.
The professor then goes a bit too far IMO and gives her a few clues. 20 minutes later she raises her hand and once again asks, “Can you read what I wrote and tell me if I’m right or should I do it again?” –Yoinkie2013
What do you mean you can’t do that?
My mother asked my wife’s family if they want to go overseas with them next week.
As in, in a week, can you schedule off work, make hotel reservations, and pay for it all?
In case it wasn’t obvious, my family is much more well off than my wife’s. –Jesus-chan
Looks like this guy dodged a bullet.
This is a girl who didn’t have any idea how to cook for herself. Grilled cheese was beyond the realm of possibility.
She never cleaned a thing in her life.
Never helped with the dishes, did the laundry one time…said she hated it and never did it again.
Didn’t like doing the grocery shopping or even going in the store because there were too many options.
Not to mention we were living off of my salary.
Her hobbies included Netflix and listening to audio books while driving.
She broke up with me because I didn’t want to wear gold sequined tie, suspenders, and shoes to the wedding. Let alone make my friends wear them too.
I thought she always understood how much I did for her and she appreciated it. I had no idea how wrong I was.
When her friend made a comment to her about how she is lucky to have me do EVERYTHING for her.
She replied back with “Well, I’m the one that is doing more than half the wedding planning.” –Economy_Cactus
Went to a metal music festival with a friend and camped there.
We had just woken up, and she pulls out her hair straightener and asks where the outlets were.
When I told her that there are no outlets on the camping grounds, she looked at me in horror and said: “So I won’t be able to straighten my hair for 3 days?” –SchmetterlingeFrau
You probably shouldn’t be baking.
A roommate I lived with during university for four months never used the kitchen at all.
She always went to restaurants or got takeout for lunch and dinner.
On our last night, she wanted to make cupcakes to take for the last day of her co-op job, and I had to walk her through making cupcakes from a Betty Crocker boxed cake mix.
Her first question was “How do I preheat the oven?” –msvolkl
This next lady doesn’t understand the concept of fishing.
“Yep. I trained them to bite every 5 minutes.”
I was running fishing programs in a park. A mother expectantly asks, “You can assure me that my son will catch a fish within 30 minutes, correct?”
I was so caught off guard it took a second to respond.
Needless to say, she was very displeased that the answer was “no” and pulled her son away in a huff as if I had wronged her somehow. –Blo0dbath
There are no words for this one.
A guy I know once said; “I don’t get homeless people, just buy a house!”
He is a spoiled rich kid who has no idea how money works.
Never had a job, never done any hard work in his life and is barely scraping through University. –R0R0FIGHTTH3POW4
Something tells me this woman might not be ready for college.
First day at college, the girl next to me raising her hand and waiting for the RA to call on her asks “What time will the cleaning services be cleaning our rooms?”
Man did she make me feel better, I was poor and got a scholarship.
I was so stressed I’d do something stupid first, but she totally jumped on that fire for me. –punk_book_jockey8
“Why won’t you pay me to leave?”
I worked with a girl who took so much leave at work; her balance got down to zero hours.
Then, she was shocked when they wouldn’t loan her hours that she could pay back over the next few pay periods.
Not sick leave, just leave. –narcolepsyinc
This might be the worst one:
I was getting lunch with a friend during my second year in college.
Being poor college students, we opted for the cheapest food the mall had to offer.
When we finally sat down to eat, he expressed relief that his credit card would “reset” in a week.
I was a bit confused, so I asked him to explain, he thought that banks gave out cards to anyone who applied and gave them X dollars to spend a month then they reset it at the end of the month.
Had to explain to a 20-something grown man how credit cards work.–andon21
Share these stories with your friends so you can all be shocked together!