People Who Really Know How to Craft a Strongly-Worded Note

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Listen, the art of the handwritten note is dying. Everything is digital these days, but you know what isn’t? A crabby note written on a ripped envelope, stuck in your neighbor’s windshield. And honestly, that should be celebrated. The storied tradition of the written letter must be upheld, even if it’s “Hey Steve, U are a jerk, don’t ever park on my side of the driveway ever again or I will let my dog poop directly on your porch.”

I think if some of the people in this story tried a little harder they could have been novelists, because the sheer creativity of these notes is staggering. Perhaps more impressive than the handwritten ones though are the typed letters. Someone had to go inside, find their computer, write up a note, format it in Word, connect their printer, find paper, and then use precious precious ink on it. Think about that for awhile.

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When something doesn’t go your way, how do you react? You might take a second to meditate or count to 10. Maybe you calmly explain that you’re feeling upset and would like to find a solution to whatever the problem is.

Or maybe you write a strongly worded letter. After all, what’s more cathartic than excoriating someone who has wronged you with words?! Nothing, that’s what. Here are 19 angry notes from 19 very, very angry people.

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Everyone loves Pat Benatar.

  via Reddit  

I have no idea where this person lives, but I’d love to visit sometime to be serenaded by Pat Benatar at 1 am. Maybe just one night, though.

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Weekday exorcism.

  via Reddit  

I love how polite this one is. They clearly understand that exorcisms need to happen and merely request that they schedule said exorcisms for the weekend.

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I hope it was worth it.

  via Reddit  

If you steal someone else’s stuff, you should already feel pretty bad about yourself. But I have to imagine you feel even worse when you realize it’s just a bunch of toilet paper.

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This one takes a turn.

  via Reddit  

What kind of person goes around and steals books from Little Free Libraries?! I think they could probably stand to read a book or two about manners! This next one is actually pretty hilarious.

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Sung to the tune of “Call Me Maybe”:

  via Imgur  

I don’t think I’d even be mad if I ever were to receive a note like this one. The clever phrasing, the beautiful colors, the smiley face — it’s all-around lovely!

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“We need! Our! MAIL!”

  via Reddit  

Maybe it’s just me, only getting student loan bills and campaign adverts for candidates whose districts I don’t even live in, but I don’t think there’s every anything important in the mail. This guy, seemingly, disagrees.

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The message is clear.

  via Reddit  

What this guy is really saying is this: “Hey d-bag, I just had surgery so shut up about the garbage for half a second.” But he’s saying it in a way that sucks in the reader, thinking it’ll be an apology and/or compliment. Note-writing skill? Expert-level.

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Straight to the point.

  via Reddit  

Here’s what I respect about this note: it’s not overly mean, it’s just direct and conveys all necessary information. This is the kind of note a therapist would be proud to see their client write.

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A tiny note, with a big message.

  via Reddit  

In the ’80s, every professional wrestler would give interviews and shout, at the top of their lungs, about how they were going to beat up their opponent. But Jake “The Snake” Roberts would almost whisper into the camera. His intensity came from making you lean in. By making his words small, his point became 10 times more powerful. That’s what this note is doing. it’s the Jake “The Snake” Roberts of notes.

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A reasonable request!

  via Reddit  

My man isn’t asking for a lot — he just wants a couple hundred dollars (a highly unspecific number) to fix his window. Also, “man up and pay me” is such a powerful phrase. Truly the “ask not what your country can do for you” of our times.

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Clear, effective communication.

  via Reddit  

This guy has one simple request: please don’t be nude in front of my family. And his method of communicating that need? An overly-apologetic note. It’s… surprisingly perfect.

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And Linda’s world was turned upside down.

  via Reddit  

If you’ve ever had bedbugs, you know that it’s an absolute nightmare. If Linda had even one conversation with her housemates about bedbugs that didn’t end with her saying “Oh my god, of course I’ll stop playing Diablo 3 and help in any way I can!”, I’m on the side of the ex-housemates.

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The worst thing a UPS driver can do is be silent.

  via Reddit  

Is there anything more frustrating than staying home all day waiting for a package, only to come out and find one of those “sorry we missed you!” fliers? The only problem I have with this guy’s note is that it doesn’t convey the overwhelming rage I’m sure he felt. Jokey, passive-aggressive insults are fine, but I want this UPS driver to know exactly what’ he’s done.

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No other options.

  via Reddit  

This strikes me as a co-worker-sort of situation. Someone forgot to refill the water jug again. And I’ll bet it was Barry. It’s always Barry. Man I hate that guy.

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Now this is cathartic.

  via Reddit  

It’s so nice to see someone finally fed up with their neighbor’s bad behavior and just lay it all on the line. I’d be willing to bet that the neighbor on the receiving end of this note changed their life forever, and is now a generous monk, traveling the world and doing laundry for the less fortunate.

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Boom, got ‘im.

  via Reddit  

I bet the guy getting this note read this and was like, “hey, my motorcycle wouldn’t say that!” And then, it would dawn on him. By implying the motorcycle would say this, in contrast with the motorcyclist’s actual behavior, the writer was using irony to convey his point.

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Maybe they had an over-zealous editor?

  via Reddit  

They say a good writer uses only the words they need, and nothing more. If that’s the case, this note-writer is the Ernest Hemingway of letting his neighbors know they screwed up their parking job.

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Do not make grandma angry.

  via Reddit  

The t-shirt said: “if mom is angry hide. If grandma is angry run” Edit to add: my son is 21. She’s behaved like this towards him since he got his first phone at 12. He has a strong backbone and has told her off. He wants to frame it and put a mock “best grandson” award above it.yavanna12

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The counting will continue until cleanliness improves.

  via Reddit  

A lot of times, note-writers can go too far. If you come off like an angry jerk, the person reading the note is more likely to discount what your advice. That’s what I like about this note: there is nothing more subtle nor powerful than a single tally mark. Nothing for the roommate to point to as evidence that they’re dealing with a jerk — just pure, simple facts.

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I never understood the point of car alarms.

  via Reddit  

I understand that, yes, the stated purpose of a car alarm is to scare away car burglars. But it seems like the only thing car alarms actually do is wake me up on days when I’m okay to sleep in or go off when I’m trying to record a podcast.

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Maybe they thought some customers needed to hear this?

  via Reddit  

The old adage “the customer is always right” has definitely gotten away from us. There are certainly times when the customer acts like a jerk and should probably be told off. But this? This is not one of those times. People who don’t like MSG or gluten aren’t at fault for not liking the food you provide, dude.

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She seems cool.

  via Reddit  

Imagine thinking a wave — a wave! — was so important, had so much meaning behind it, that you had to sit down and get out a paper and a pen. Everyone, listen. Sometimes people just wave because they’re bored. It very very rarely means you hope they leave their wives for you.

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Got it.

  via Reddit  

Sure, being cold is tough, but being cut? That’s even worse. I, for one, do not wish to be cut.

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A little inter-personal communication.

  via Reddit  

It was very thoughtful of Sober Steve to leave Drunk Steve a note. It was very not thoughtful for Drunk Steve to leave an overly aggressive reply. But then, I guess that’s what we’ve come to expect from Drunk Steve.

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Bedtime is canceled.

  via Reddit  

Listen, this is very cute, and the kind of note you hope this mom hangs on to forever. Because really? This is a very cool sign that this kid here is growing into their own person; taking control of their own experiences. Feel those feelings, Owen! Communicate them and remove yourself from situations you find uncomfortable! This kid’s emotionally healthy as hellllll.

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This, the customers did need to hear.

  via Reddit  

The problem with working fast food jobs is that they generally don’t care about their employees. You don’t like the working conditions, they tell you to leave so they can hire someone else. But this note hits the owners where it hurts — in the customers. Now that people know what they’re up to, maybe these owners will have to reckon with some of their bad behavior?

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A logical progression.

  via Reddit  

This is maybe my favorite note of the bunch. The guys just walks the bad parker through the results of his actions. And when you’ve made someone doubt their grammar? Well, that’s when you know you’ve crossed the line.

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A few quick alterations…

  via Reddit  

I like the way this apartment turned the note-leavers’ assumptions against them. Seeing these many changes made in red pen reminds me of my high school essays. That said, I am not here for the “y’all” shaming. It is a perfectly acceptable gender-neutral way to address a large group of people. Do not “LOL???” at “y’all.”

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Terrible placement.

  via Reddit  

The original note-leaver made not one, not two, but three mistakes here. The first was leaving their bananas under a “Please eat me” sign. The second was writing an angry note to their coworkers. The third was bringing bananas into work at all! Don’t you know how fast those spoil? Bring in one day’s worth of bananas and keep them at your desk, dude!

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Autobots! Leave a note and ROLL OUT.

  via Reddit  

If your goofball neighbor Dave leaves you a note about your parking, you roll your eyes and toss the note in the trash. If Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, writes you a note about your parking? You’d best believe you’re going to pay attention.

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Can’t argue with this one.

  via Reddit  

And if your roommate isn doing yours, it’s your job to assess your role in that situation, and strive to change things in the future.

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This one fills me with adrenaline.

  via Reddit  

While the initial homophobic comment is awful, the super simple “fight me” makes me want to — you guessed it — fight. Oh man, this note is doing the same things for me the song “Eye of the Tiger” does. I have never been this pumped!

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I, for one, do not want to be ended.

  via Reddit  

Could this entire message fit on one Post-It note? Yes. Would it have had the same impact? Absolutely not.

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“Oh… and happy holidays.”

  via Reddit  

Just like we said about Optimus Prime — you ignore notes from neighbors. But you would have to be a truly bad little boy to ignore a note from Santa.

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Great, now this’ll be stuck in my head all day.

  via Reddit  

This poem does a remarkable job of two things: It first an effective way to ask a roommate to stop slamming their toilet lids. But it’s also beautiful. True poetry. Shakespeare would read this and surely weep.

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“We’re all very impressed.”

  via Imgur  

People with ridiculously loud speakers aren’t all jerks. Some of them are just trying to impress the neighbors.

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Short, simple, effective.

  via Imgur  

Apparently, the people living on the second floor forgot how windows work? Something tells me they won’t forget again anytime soon.

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Take that, Bob.

  via Imgur  

I would love to see the look on Bob’s face right about now. I also hope the fence looks like that forever.

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Another package thief!

  via Imgur  

People can order just about anything on Amazon these days. If you’re stealing packages from people, you’re probably most likely going to get something completely worthless. This next note will get you in the holiday spirit.

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Merry Christmas, in March.

  via Imgur  

Hey, I love Christmas music, too. But time and place, people. Time and place.

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Fight fire with fire.

  via Imgur  

Not only did they leave a note shaming the individual, but they also gave their own apartment number in case there were any further issues. That’s a power move if I’ve ever seen one. Also, the bandage “tape.”

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Oopsie Daisy!

  via Imgur  

Don’t let the heart exclamation marks fool you. This person is angry, and they mean business.

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Sick burn!

  via Instagram  

I assume this one took a while to recover from. Let’s hope they learned their lesson!

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Ugh.

  via Instagram  

People who hog parking spaces seriously are the worst! This person appears to drive around with loose leaf paper and a Sharpie for just such an occasion. This next note is kind of charming.

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Listen here, robot.

  via Instagram  

Judy, I love your optimism here, but that $1.25 is gone forever. The machine is keeping it.

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A doormat? Seriously?

  via Instagram  

Are our doormats no longer safe?! What is going on in this world?!

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Wonder who planted this one:

  via Instagram  

Honestly, it’s probably best not to give these criminals any ideas. People who would steal plants would absolutely punch a kitten without a second thought. Jerks.

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“The worst of wishes.”

  via Instagram  

If I were on the receiving end of a note like this, I think I’d hope that karma would get me before Johanna did. She seems very angry.

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“I have good aim.”

  via Instagram  

You should definitely trust this person. This is not the kind of thing you want to leave to chance. Share this with someone who needs a laugh today!

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