It’s a known fact that girls don’t burp, fart, poop, or stink– at all. Obviously, every girl is a paragon of perfect hygiene, a goddess existing above such foul conduct.

YEAH RIGHT. Girls are human, and humans of every gender are pretty darn gross. Hey, there’s no shame in it! Being gross doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it probably means you’re comfortable in this weird meat sack of a body we all have to grapple with– and what’s more aspirational than that??

Whether they’re willing to admit it or not, most girls do some pretty disgusting stuff when they think no one’s looking. If you’re not prepared to deal with that, you should honestly stop reading now. But if you’re ready to learn some seriously dirty secrets... well, I warned you.

The infamous sniff test.

Who among us has not stuffed their nose deep into the rankest armpit and crotch corners of day-old clothes to see if they’ve got another wear in ‘em?

Holding your boobs under your shirt for no reason.

One of life’s simple pleasures, and greatest mysteries.

Wearing the same bra for a week or more without a wash.

The logic that boobs don’t get dirty still holds up– until you remember armpits.

Holding on to a bra for way too long.

Sure, there are a couple of stains and the elastic is worn out, but it’s so hard to find one that fits.

Yeah, bras are kinda nasty but most girls will probably still eat a snack that falls in their cleavage.

Super sexy and totally foul. Both bras and girls hold such an impressive duality.

Oh, bras can also use be used as pockets. Is there anything they can’t do?

Sorry, that’s what happens when ladies clothes are designed without pockets. Keep the change!

Taking off the bra without taking off the shirt.

Gross or awesome? You decide.

Giving your tampon a post-use inspection.

Look, whatever. If you’re a girl who menstruates, you've got to keep tabs on what’s happening in there.

Speaking of important health examinations…

Come on. If you don’t look at the TP, how do you know when to stop wiping?

Maybe most important of all bathroom evaluations.

Fine, checking the toilet after a successful trip is more about curiosity than health.

While we’re on the subject of bathrooms, what’s a better way to kill time than picking your nose and rolling it around a little?

Only the bravest among us will do it in public.

Think that’s gross? Wait until I tell you about the hair.

Ever have so much hair in your brush you could make a small toupee?

Where does the hair tie end, and the hair begin?

It’s not so bad while it’s holding up your ponytail, but things can get pretty gross when you wear that hairy tie on your wrist.

Decorating your shower wall with fallen strands.

Can’t let them fall down and clog the drain, where else are you supposed to put them?

Retrieving that particularly long hair after a shower.

I SWEAR that came from my head.

Getting rid of pesky hairs in general.

Pain is just weakness (and hair) leaving the body.

Yup, hair is gross. But head and nipple hair is nothing compared to the hair down there.

Not every girl uses pads, but every girl who does has given herself a surprise bikini wax at least once.

But pubes aren’t always so painful.

They can make a great place to rest your hand. You know, if you’re not holding your boobs.

Some girls even take it a step further...

Got a hole in your underwear? Make a pube ponytail for instant entertainment. Come on, you know you’ve done it.

When that gets old, give ‘em a trim...

With those special scissors, strictly reserved for down there.

Or worse, any old scissors.

Just please, please be careful.

There’s always the razor option.

How about the really old one with tufts of hair between the blades that hasn’t been thrown out yet for some reason?

When the shaving is done, it’s time to stand naked in the mirror for way too long.

The results are always both impressive and bizarre.

Bodies are weird.

Like, why are we compelled to smell our hands after touching something we know stinks?

Or stare at the awful gunk on a pore strip that was just in your face?

It’s just so satisfying.

Girls are totally ok with tearing the dead skin off their lips.

Bonus points for eating it! Because we know you did.

There’s nothing better than scraping a thick piece of grime out from under your nails.

Especially if you do it with another nail.

Ok, but makeup is a thing of beauty. It can’t possibly be gross, right?

Ever use a foundation past its expiration date? Or share with a friend? Now That’s What I Call Gross Volume Girls.

Ever wonder how often girls wash their makeup brushes?

Sorry to break it to you, but your face is a lot grosser than you thought.

Whatever. Embrace your nasty, and always remember the golden gross girl rule.

If you believe in yourself (and sleep in your makeup), last night’s tightline can be today’s smokey eye.