The human body can be a pretty disgusting thing. Think about all the gross things you have to interact with on a daily basis. Now think about how many of them came from your very own body! (Or possibly from someone else’s body if you’re a parent, doctor, or someone else who often has to deal with others’…um…byproducts.
I’m not saying anyone should be ashamed of their body or the things it’s capable of, of course. As gross as that sweating, drooling, pooping, and peeing structure is, it’s also capable of some pretty amazing feats! I’m just saying, I think we should all collectively admit that some of the stuff our bodies do is, well, not exactly 100 percent delightful.
Luckily for us icky humans, there are so many products that are specifically designed to make us less icky. Even more luckily, a bunch of them are available from Amazon and can be shipped discreetly to your door!
We hope you find these products as awesome as we do. Just an FYI: We are a participant in the Amazon affiliate program, and Brainjolt may receive a share of sales from links on this page. Prices on Amazon fluctuate so anything mentioned below might change as soon we publish it!
This Magnified Mirror Lets You Get up Close and Personal with Your Face
If you’re ever feeling especially confident and feel like you maybe need to be brought down a peg or two, I can’t recommend looking into a magnified mirror highly enough. You will see every pore, every freckle, every mole at a level of detail you never before thought possible, and which maybe shouldn’t even be possible. This one even lights up so you can really see all the stuff on your face.
A Drain Snake Like This Will Reveal Exactly How Much Hair You’ve Been Shedding
I’m sorry. I know that was pretty gnarly to watch. Still, it’s nice to see that it actually works, right?
All you have to do is put the Zip-It down the drain, wiggle it around a bit, and then give it a yank. Oh, and you’ll probably want to prepare yourself for the vile mess you’re about to bring from the depths of the sewers. I can’t promise you that you’ll like what you see, but you will enjoy the results!
These Pimple Patches Suck the Gross Stuff Right Outta Ya
When you put these patches on your face, they look basically like Band-Aids. The white spots you see in the picture up there? Yeah, that’s all the gross gunky stuff they pulled out of various zits. These things are super popular — they have nearly 3,000 reviews on Amazon!
As a result of these patches sucking up all that gunk, the pimples become flatter and less noticeable. Pretty clever, huh?
These Baby Foot Peels Are Kinda Gross…And Kinda Awesome
In order to use them, you just put the plastic “socks” on and wear them for about an hour. Take them off, and rinse your foot. Over the course of the next few days, your dead skin will literally start to slough off, revealing the baby-soft skin underneath.
And I do really mean “slough off.” It’s kind of amazing and also pretty disturbing. But ultimately worth it.
This Blackhead Vacuum Sucks Blackheads out of Your Face
Yes, it’s a little gross. But it’s also kind of mesmerizing in a way.
This blackhead vacuum has five different intensity levels which can be used to suck out blackheads, acne, pimples, and grease from your pores. It’s made from non-toxic ABS material that is gentle on your skin and comes with four different probes for a variety of uses. It’s also totally portable and conveniently rechargeable!
This Hairbrush Cleans Itself!
Nobody likes spending their time cleaning out a hairbrush. It takes forever and you’re never able to remove 100 percent of the hair, anyway.
Unless you have a brush like this one, that is. Simply press the buttons and pull the back of the brush backward and all the hair that has been collected on the bristles will fall right off! Think of all the time (and stress) you’ll save!
This Peel-Off Hand Mask Looks So Satisfying to Use
Remember back when you were a kid and you used to cover your hand with Elmer’s glue just so you could peel it off. First of all, have you ever thought about how that’s kind of weird? Kids are so strange.
Secondly, did you know you can do pretty much the same thing as an adult? After this hand mask dries, you gently peel it off to reveal ultra-smooth and hydrated skin!
And if you like peeling stuff…
…This Peel-Off Blackhead Mask Is for You!
Let us all take a moment to marvel at the stuff that was pulled out of this person’s face. I mean, wow, ya know?
This mask can be used to remove acne, blackheads, blemishes, stains, and/or oil spots from your face, and all you have to do is put it on and take it off after it dries. When you do, you’ll be greeted by all the gunk that was previously taking up residence in your pores.
This Facial hair Remover Works Like a Charm!
Hey, you’re a mammal. You might have some hair on your face that you’d prefer wasn’t on your face. There are plenty of options when it comes to hair removal, but pulling it out so you don’t leave the root behind seems to be the longest-lasting solution. This hair remover doesn’t require any batteries; all you need is two hands to operate it.
There’s Also a Peel-Off Foot Mask!
Peel-Off. Foot. Mask. This is not a drill, people. This is a (weird) dream come true.
Much like the peel-off hand mask we covered earlier, this mask dries and can then be peeled off to reveal hydrated, happy skin. Only this one works on your feet! The best part (other than the actual peeling) is that while you’re wearing it, you get to kick your feet up and relax.
If You Have Long Hair, You Should Also Have a TubShroom
Nobody knows exactly how it happens, but if you have long hair, you’ve undoubtedly wound up with a gigantic clump of hair in your shower drain. It’s inconvenient, gross, and pretty tricky to get rid of.
If you want to eliminate those clogs, the TubShroom is a great first step. It fits in any standard tub drain hole and catches hair — of any length — before it goes down the drain. I like that it keeps the hair hidden, too, unlike those drain covers made out of metal screens.
These Oil Absorbing Tissues Keep You from Getting Too Shiny
Your makeup may start out super flawless in the morning, but by the time you’ve finished your lunch, you might be dealing with some extra oily skin. These handy sheets come in a pack of 100 that’s small enough to fit in your purse. All you have to do is remove a sheet and gently blot it against your face. The sheet will absorb all of the oil without messing up your makeup!
This Nose Wax Will Get Rid of All Those Pesky Nasal Hairs
Sick of having tiny nose hairs peek out from your nostril to greet all of your friends? Then get rid of ’em! Shaving is certainly an option, but as we’ve already covered, going to the root of the problem and removing the entire hair is a much longer-lasting solution.
The applicator that comes with this nose hair waxing kit is specially designed to only contact and remove the hairs that might be visible. It keeps all the important nose hairs that you’re supposed to have right where they are.
This Tongue Scraper Makes Bad Breath a Thing of the Past
You can brush your teeth all you want (and you should!), but your tongue is actually a main source of bacteria that causes bad breath. Using your toothbrush on your tongue is a good start, but if you really wanna get that stinky gunk out of your mouth, you should opt for a tonge scraper like this one. With just a few scrapes, your tongue will be clean and your breath will be fresh!
This Foot File Is Perfect for Anyone Dealing with Dead Skin on Their Feet
Most people’s heels become dry on a pretty regular basis. Since we typically wear socks and shoes, there aren’t always a lot of opportunities for that dry skin to be exfoliated away. That’s where this foot file comes in! It’s perfect for small jobs like cracked heels. (If your heels are really dry, stay tuned. We have something for you, too!)
This Earwax Removal Tool Is Seriously the Bee’s Knees
If you’re still using a Q-tip to clean the wax from your ears, it’s time for an upgrade (also, you’re not supposed to use Q-tips for that! It’s dangerous!).
The Ototek loop has a guard on it that keeps you from reaching too deep into your ear canal. But the tiny loop on the end is brilliant when it comes to scraping out earwax.
Thousand of People Absolutely Swear by This Indian Healing Clay
Literally, thousands. The stuff has more than 14,000 Amazon reviews, people! In doing some of my own research (I’ve been thinking about buying this stuff for myself for a while!), I’ve learned that adding some apple cider vinegar to the clay gets you the best results. This 1-pound container is currently listed for less than 10 bucks, so now’s definitely the time to give it a try.
This Blackhead Remover Kit Gives You Hands-On Experience
These beauty tools are made from stainless steel and specifically designed to help you remove blackheads, acne, and other blemishes. They also come with a handy carrying/storage case so you always know right where they are (and that they haven’t come into contact with anything dirty).
They work on all types of skin and feature an anti-bacterial coating that will keep you safe and minimize risk.
Everybody Poops. Ergo, Everybody Should Have Some Poo-Pourri
Comedic name aside, this stuff is basically manna from heaven…if manna was a toilet spray specially formulated to make your trips to the bathroom less stinky.
Simply spritz the stuff in the toilet before you go, and it creates a film on the surface of the toilet water that traps scents within the toilet. No more smelly candles. No more “lighting a match.” Just spritz, poo, and enjoy your life.
This Foot File Is the Big Daddy of Foot Files
OK, I know what you’re thinking. You saw that previous foot file and were all like, “Bah! That little thing might work for normal-footed people, but I’ve got calluses on my heels that could drive in a nail!”
Don’t you worry. You can take care of them in about 5 minutes. This foot file has a huge surface area and it literally shaves calluses and dead skin from your feet with a basic back-and-forth motion (much like you’d use to, ah, grate a hard cheese). If you’re still not convinced, read through the glowing reviews.
These Sweat Pads Will Protect You from Pitting Out
It’s super annoying when you get home from work, take off your shirt, and are greeted by two soggy pit stains. No more, my friend! If you suffer from sweaty pits, these pads are an excellent solution. Just stick them inside the armpit of your shirt and they’ll absorb the sweat, keeping it from getting to the fabric. The adhesive is strong enough to stick to even the most delicate garments.
This Toenail Corrector Tool May Look a Bit Like a Medieval Torture Device…
…But it does the trick! If you regularly have to deal with ingrown toenails, you know what a pain in the, well, foot they can be. This little device can put an end to them, though!
It works pretty much exactly the way you’re imagining it does. You place the little pad directly onto the problematic toenail and then twist the nut to gently straighten the nail out. Leave it on for a little while and with regular use, your toenail will be cooperating again!
These Gas Neutralizing Pads Will Make Your Toots Less Stinky
We’ve already talked about how everybody poops. Surely you also know that everyone on the planet also passes gas. Obviously, the worst thing about that particular activity is the smell that often accompanies it.
These antimicrobial, disposable pads can be stuck to your underwear (in the exact position that you assume). They’re made from activated carbon which absorbs odors and keeps them from offending anyone around you. Or you yourself.
This Breath Checker Will Tell You When You Need a Breathmint
You’ve just enjoyed a particularly garlicky pasta and suspect that your breath may stink a bit. What do you do? You could try the old breath-into-your-hand trick, but that may no longer be the best option. Why? ‘Cause now there’s technology that can let you know for sure whether it’s time to pop a Tic Tac. Simply breathe into the sensor on this device and it’ll give you a heads up.
This Exfoliating Mitt Works All Over Your Body
This mitt reveals soft, smooth, and younger looking skin after just a single use — and it doesn’t require any harmful chemicals or soaking to do it! Simply place the mitt on your hand and begin rubbing your skin. In seconds, you’ll see dry skin and other impurities begin to rub off from your body. All you need is some water and a few minutes of your time.
A Neti Pot May Look Bizarre, but People Really Love It
What do you do when you’re super congested and can hardly breathe because of all that gunk in your sinuses? Suffer through it? Do your best with a facial tissue and a whole lot of nose blowing? You’re doing it wrong.
A neti pot works to remove congestion (and yes, the gunk that accompanies it) using nothing but water. Simply pour the water into your nostril while tilting your head, and let everything run out naturally. And I do mean everything.
If You Have a Baby Suffering from a Stuffed Nose, The NoseFrida Is Your Best Bet
OK. What I’m about to say may seem kinda gross, but I’m telling you, people — this thing works. Rather than using that obnoxious blue bulb squirter of doom (which I’m sure your baby hates with a fiery passion), the NoseFrida works in seconds to remove all that goop from their precious baby nostrils. All you have to do is suck on it.
No, I’m not kidding. But there’s a filter and a super long hose and there’s no way for anything gross to end up in your mouth, I swear. Once again, read the reviews if you need further convincing.
A Bidet Like This Will Make Your Bathroom Trips So Much More Luxurious
If you think about it for a sec, bidets make so much sense. You wouldn’t “wash” your hands after a bathroom trip by just wiping them off with dry paper, would you? Of course not! But that’s what a lot of people do with their bums!
I propose that we all get bidets instead. You can install this one yourself in about 30 minutes and minimal effort or knowledge about plumbing. Once you do, you’ll never go back to the bidet-less lifestyle.
These Air Purifying Bags Absorb All Kinds of Nasty Smells
They’re filled with activated bamboo charcoal which naturally works to absorb gross odors and leave nothing but fresh smelling air behind. Grab a few to put in your gym shoes, hang in your closet, or leave in your car. Wherever musty or stinky odors are present, these fancy bags will find them and eliminate them for good.
They’re also totally safe to use around your pets and/or kids!
These Salt Blocks Apparently Suck Toxins out Through Your Feet!
I’ll admit that this idea is maybe a little “woo woo” to me personally, but a lot of people swear by the detoxifying properties of Himalayan salt, so what do I know? Maybe you’re a “woo woo” kind of person! If so, more power to you! The listing for these salt blocks says that they draw out toxins and help to relieve aches and pains and restore overall wellness. That sounds pretty good to me.
(And if they don’t work, at least you’ll have some salty feet! That’s kinda cool, right?)
This Hydrating Lip Peel Sounds Absolutely Amazing
I don’t know about you, but I pretty much always have dry skin on my lips. I drink plenty of water, but still. Peeling. That makes me want to try something like this hydrating lip mask. It effortlessly dissolves dead skin on your lips and softens and resurfaces them so they’re nice and smooth. You can also use it as a primer under your favorite gloss or lip color!