If you’ve ever opened that little brown box and wondered what the actual heck has arrived from Amazon in the mail, you may remember the time you fell for one of the absolute weirdest things they sell online. And that’s why you should never drink and Amazon.
With over 12 million products now available to buy at the click of a button, you can bet there are some seriously strange delights if you dig deep enough. Like cartoon cats that poop out toilet tissue or pony saddles that make parents into human playthings. We told you they were weird.
Or what about the gadgets that you never knew you needed such as a plastic pickle that yodels on command or a camera that records inside your ear? Hold onto your purses, people.
But strangely enough, each of the most bizarre, wacky, and downright crazy things we’ve found on Amazon has been reviewed thousands of times by those of us weird enough to purchase them. So, to top off this list of the strangest things you can buy on Amazon right now, we’ve rounded up seven of the oddest reviews left by the purchasing public.
If this mad collection of Amazon items doesn’t tick off your Holiday gift list in one sitting, we guarantee you a good laugh at the reviews that go with them.
We hope you find these products as awesome as we do. Just an FYI: We are a participant in the Amazon affiliate program, and Brainjolt may receive a share of sales from links on this page. Prices on Amazon fluctuate so anything mentioned below might change as soon we publish it!
The Stuffed Seal Pillow That’s Like, What?
This seems like a good enough place to start. It’s a chubby stuffed seal designed to deliver truly unparalleled hugs – but not a lot else really. At nearly two feet long, this pillow takes up quite some room on the sofa looking fat but generally adorable. It makes a strange impulse buy for yourself but an even weirder gift for someone else.
The Mug You Never Want To See In Your Kitchen
Too much information, guys. This one’s more of a conversation stopper than a conversation starter and more of an ice destroyer than an ice breaker. You never want to end up sharing a cup of Joe with the person drinking from this cup because it’s easy to lose your train of thought. What were we saying again?
The Parent Pony Saddle That Makes Us Shudder
Parenting is a tough enough gig without games that turn you into a living toy. The Pony Up Daddy saddle (shudder) is designed to help willing (read: gullible) mums and dads enjoy more interactive playtime with their little one, but somehow, we can see this ending in chiropractor bills and therapy. Count us out.
A Burrito Blanket That Makes Us Kind Of Hungry
This burrito blanket has given us plenty to taco bout. Sorry. It’s just that we absolutely lost it over this hilarious novelty blanket wrap, which allows you to become a human burrito, especially after a Holiday feast. Veg out with this fluffy five-foot tortilla for sleepovers, nap times, or movie marathons and we’ll be damned if it’s nacho best day ever.
A Money-Eating Box We’d Rather Not Feed
First of all, let’s talk about its creepy appearance. Aside from the terrifying glass eyes (that we’re sure can see into our souls), that sinister half-smile is actually a sensor-operated opening that automatically eats up your loose change. Yes, no-one guessed it. This is a functional money box, it’s just that the nightmare-inducing facial features cannot be explained.
This Yodeling Pickle, Just Because
An instant cure for boredom, the Accoutrements Yodelling Pickle will make the long nights fly by. This peculiar purchase actually sings at the push of a button, providing hours of mindless entertainment. It’s received a strong 4.6 average review rating just for being that gift for the person who has everything… except a yodeling pickle.
These Massive Underpants That Have No Apparent Use
We weren’t quite sure what to make of these novelty underpants when they popped up in our ‘You might also like’ section. Like, what’s that supposed to mean? There is, of course, no logical use for these giant briefs but we dare you not to laugh when you pull them out of the box. Available in three equally comedic designs, there’s quite a lot to love about the Big Momma Undies.
A Tissue Holder Even Cat People Won’t Love
It’s certainly an original way to keep your toilet tissue safe. Surprisingly, this kooky tissue holder is going down a storm with Amazon fans who call it ‘funny,’ ‘fantastic’ and a ‘five-star gift.’ Cat lovers will either be offended or totally in love with this strange homeware purr-chase. So, it’s worth taking the risk, right?
An Original Board Game For All The Family
Bored this Christmas? Surely, it’s time to pull out the Donner Dinner Party Board Game. Of course, you won’t have heard of it because no-one has. It’s a bone-chilling 4+ player game, set in 1846 where players are not just in it to win it, they’re all fighting for survival since the characters find themselves stranded at the top of a mountain without any food. Could you be tonight’s dinner? Only one way to find out.
The Travel Companion No-One Should Be Without
For the freedom to take off at a moment’s notice, the idea of instant underpants is actually kind of useful. Just add water to this tin-sized pair of compact underpants and hey presto, you have yourself a pair of full-size cotton briefs that one Amazon fan called ‘convenient’, ‘functional’ and quite simply, ‘fant-asstic’.
Bath Bombs For A Very Niche Taste
Aren’t bubble baths supposed to smell heavenly? Supposed to transport you to a serene, sweetly-fragranced kind of dream world? If that’s not your vibe, you can now draw a bubble bath with the endlessly desirable scent of… roast beef. That’s right, you’ll emerge from your everyday cleansing regime smelling like a sandwich. Delicious.
The Pimple Popper For That One Friend
Everyone’s got that one friend, maybe it’s you – we’re not judging – but it’s that person who cannot stop watching pimple popping videos, not to mention squeezing their own. Us, not so much. In fact, we find it nasty, but this product might be the most socially acceptable way for pimple popper obsessives to get their fix in private.
Fish Flip Flops You Wish You Could Wear Outside
Apparently, fish flops are a thing now. Come rain or shine, these open-toe sandals are the kind of footwear we can get on board with at any time of year. Sure, they’re absolutely bonkers and certain to get you a few strange looks, even in your own home, but at least you know you’re being original, right?
The Bottle Opener That Hits Back
It’s not something we ever knew existed but this bottle cap launcher is one of the strangest things you could find in a friend’s kitchen. At first, you think it’s useful because this handy gadget is going to open your beer bottle. But then, watch out, this opener presents the threat of real harm because it will ping that dang cap right back at you.
A Gummy Bear That’s Not Safe For Kids
Don’t share this one with the little ones, okay? Fans of gummy bears would get the shock of their life seeing what’s underneath all that gooey, delicious jelly skin. However educational, this 4D anatomical puzzle (featuring the brain, lungs, heart, and even colon) of a candy will almost definitely give the kids nightmares for weeks.
This Nap Sack For Zzzs Anywhere
We actually LOL’d hard when we saw this nap sack on Amazon. Obviously, the idea has got some uses for that person in your life who’s always nodding off at the movies and on public transport, etc but can you actually imagine how weird it would be to bump into someone snoozing in public under a ventilated hood? We were relieved to find out we’d been punked – it’s just a gag, y’all.
The Magic Thumbs To Impress Your Friends
If you can’t think of a few uses for these illuminated fingertips then you’re lacking imagination. Magic tricks, jokes, seeing in the dark, night dancing, general entertainment. That’s it. That’s the whole 10 minutes. Reviewers say these finger lamps are a good gift for children (but big kids will probably get some enjoyment out of them, too).
These Oven Mitts That Get A Conversation Started
We don’t know who invented them and we can’t think who would want them, but over 2,000 Americans have given these truly terrifying quilted oven mitts rave reviews. Available in 12 equally strange animal varieties – from pigs to cows and cats to lobsters – this kitchen accessory is certainly a conversation-starter for your next dinner party.
The Spud You Could Learn To Love
Can you see yourself on a spud? Well, you soon might, because the Potato Pal gift on Amazon has made that possible. Print any image onto an actual vegetable thanks to this genius idea once seen on Shark Tank. Five-star reviewers are calling it ‘hilarious’ and ‘the best gift ever,’ saying this utterly bizarre customizable gag is guaranteed a few laughs.
The Recording You Shouldn’t Share, Anywhere
This one may have its uses, sure, but it’s making us all kinds of queasy. Believe it or not, the Otoscope-Ear Scope Camera is used to create and transmit a clear image of your ear canal directly to your phone via the USB connection on this clever mini HD camera wand. So, if you’ve ever wanted to see inside your own ear, now you can.
The Gift That Makes Your Pet Useful
Put your four-legged friend to work in your home with a set of ‘animal-powered debris removal shoes’. The utterly baffling box – illustrated with pets wearing the shoes – shows that the product comes as a plow, dustpan, mop, or broom for all your household needs. Although, when you look closer you’ll see that it’s thankfully just a prank, guys. Chill.
The Final Resting Place For A Pet
Ok, this is kind of freaky. A memorial casket for a beloved pet has got to be one of the strangest things available on Amazon right now, especially since it looks more like a takeout container than a precious final resting place. Nevertheless, we’re pleased to see that the sweet (read: creepy) pillow and blanket insert also comes in a choice of pink or blue so your pet will make a dignified departure.
A Lifesize Danny DeVito, Why Not?
If you saw one of these in someone else’s home, yes, you’d be weirded out. However, hear us out. A lifesize cardboard cut-out of Danny DeVito is arguably a calming influence in any family home. We know the Hollywood icon to be a fun-loving, wise, and cool individual, who’s sure to bring good vibes to your living space.
The Hands-On Tool That Makes Cutlery Obsolete
When it feels like a knife and fork just won’t get the job done, the Easylife Metal Meat Claws are the only way to go. Instead of using your hands to operate the kitchen tools, with this device, your hands become the tools to make cutting, shredding, and pulling meat even more efficient at the dinner table.
This Purse That’s Sure To Get You Compliments
There are no words. Like, there is literally nothing more to say about this than, it’s a chicken purse.
This Wrapping Paper For A Good Pooch
Sick to death of all that useless festive paper that can’t be recycled after the Holidays? Well, this year, when you’re gifting precious pets, get them some paper that they can get rid of afterward. The all-new edible Paw Paper is made of all-natural potato starch, natural flavoring, and edible ink so even if they’re more excited about the paper than the present, you’ve got gifting all wrapped up.
The Tape That Makes Packing More Fun
When you’re moving house and packing boxes, what fun is there in boring old brown tape? This bacon tape is a novel update on the traditional sticky stuff, meaning packing just got a whole lot more fun. Use it to cover notebooks, wallets, phones, or accessories to give them a mouth-watering appearance that’s finger-licking good.
The Work Tie For A Sticky Situation
Run out of neckties for the working week? This DIY tie will surely save him from a sticky situation, even if colleagues might spot that it’s made entirely of Duct Tape. You read that right – this workwear accessory has been crafted using the finest industrial tape for a look so unique we can guarantee no-one else in the office will come close.
This Hands-Free Umbrella That’s Truly Ridiculous
If you’re prepared to put your pride aside, this umbrella hat is actually seriously useful. Whether it’s a fishing trip, golf, or hitting the shops, this handy tool is totally bizarre, granted, but it will leave your hands free while keeping you completely protected from sleet, snow, drizzle, hail, driving rain. That’s us sold, at least.
A Candle Dedicated To A True Goddess
For the fan who truly worships Britney Spears (who doesn’t?), this prayer candle seems like a total no-brainer. Yes, it’s completely mad but we are obsessed with the attention to detail, such as the scroll to prove ‘It’s Britney, B*tch’ and the fact that the photo is so well-selected that it looks like Brit legit posed for it like official merch.
And Some of The Weirdest Reviews…
The Roller Skates That Aren’t Good For Horses
An important reminder to always read the description before you Buy Now on Amazon, this poor user was disappointed not to be able to use the Segway Ninebot Drift W1 Electric Hover Shoes For Kids And Adults on Charly the Horse and now he’s dealing out one-star reviews.
He writes: “I bought these with the intention of putting them on my horse. However, I had to buy two boxes since only two come in a box. The first time we put them under Charly’s hooves, he was a little wobbly. It took a couple days for him to get used to it.
“I feel that my horse is actually slower now with these new shoes on. I also feel he is getting lazy and a little overweight. I would avoid this product if you intend to use them on your horse.”
The Vitamins That Bring All The Girls To The Yard
If you were wondering whether Nature Made Men’s Multivitamin Tablets could really work for you, hear it from one (very) enthusiastic verified purchaser who gave these ‘great vitamins’ the full five stars.
He says: “Best vitamins you’ll find. Before these vitamins my life was so-so. After taking these, women won’t stop calling. I have abs like a washboard, I’m funny now, and my credit score went up by 200 points.
“Really though, I think they’re doing some good. Anything to counteract the diseases my kids carry from the petri dish they call school would be super.”
This TV That’s Falsley Advertised…Apparently
One-star reviewers will go to any length to prove they’ve been ripped off. Case and point: The angry recipient of this Samsung 8 Series TU8000 50″ TV, which is only 44″ from edge to edge. He’s even got the pictures to prove it. Sadly, what he doesn’t know, is that this is really not how you measure a TV…
The review reads: “After unpacking, I found that the 50″ I purchased was actual 44″. How’s that? The box is only 49″ there no way with the foam protection the TV could be 50″. See pictures and video. This is a scam. I need my money or a 50″ Samsung TV.”
These Energy Pills That Have Unsurprisingly Sold Out
Sorry folks, you can’t get the Muscletech Platinum 100% Caffeine Pill on Amazon right now because it’s temporarily out of stock. That’s presumably down to this sterling five-star review suggesting it’s just the thing you need to ‘outwit your invisible enemies’.
The Amazon user writes: “When lethargy clouds my mind and my stance towards my enemies change, it’s time to pop one of mom’s good ole fashioned wake-up pills!
“These pills give me the quick energy I need to cut letters from a magazine or tie twine to push pins on a large board facing the door so it’s the first thing I see when I wake up.
“At times my resolve may waver but these pills give me the pep and vigor I need to outlast, outwit, and outfight my invisible enemies that wish to do me harm.”
Unfortunately, this item is temporarily unavailable but we found these similar Energy Pills which we know you will also love.
A Flamingo Pool For Your Socially Distanced Covid-19 Party
Want to know the best ways to spend your bucks during Covid-19? It’s this flamingo-shaped kiddie pool, retailing at just $21.99. This five-star fan has hosted many a socially-distanced party in her backyard and even spent so much time with the pool flamingos that’s she’s named them.
She writes: “Best $22 bucks I’ve spent all summer! I convinced my brother’s [girlfriend] to partake in my shenanigans and we seriously had a blast! Perfect size to ‘socially distance’ and yet party together!
“For sizing, I’m 5’2, 145lbs and I could stretch my legs straight out. We did put down blankets underneath to protect Paco and Luis, (yes, the flamingos have names) but also to make it comfier for us. It worked out perfect! The sides are large enough to lay back and relax! Seriously! Get one! You’ll thank me! Cheers! Get yourself a backdrop too while you’re at it!”
We’re also living for the lady drinking pink wine in her flamingo since August.
Noelle Christina says: ‘The perfect size…for a 38-year-old woman to sit in drinking rosé in her backyard all summer! Buy a good pump, if you use a hand pump it will take you forever, but it holds the air for a long time (about a month so far)”
And Finally, The Ideal Gift For Grieving Cousins
It can be hard to know what to send to someone after they’ve lost a loved one. With so much choice, and with Prime next-day delivery, Amazon is a great place to pick something sensitive, thoughtful, and heartfelt. However, not many of us would expect that this 12″ Wall Decal of an old lady with an asthma inhaler would be a comfort to a family who’s just lost their grandmother. Nevertheless, this five-star reviewer thought it was perfect.
Jen writes: “Sent this to my cousins that recently lost their grandmother. Perfect joke to keep them going. Inspirational. 10/10.”