Today, we're all toddlers being told by folks on the internet not to shove our fingers into wall outlets. There's no doubt that this world is full of things that are trying to kill us at every waking moment. Snakes, falling pianos, in-laws. The list goes on.

Well, the fine folks over on Reddit thought they'd do their best to compile a list of things you should definitely not... erm, mess with. And we're sharing it with you! Because that's what we do -- find things on the internet that are terrifying, and talk about them to make that fear slightly less scary. Sounds useful, right?

If you come across any of these things in your everyday life, just turn and run the other way, because nothing good could ever happen. So break out the first aid kit, and get your emergency contacts in order, because here are our (and Reddit's) list of things you should never ever mess with.

For our first tip, we're going to the outback.

Honestly, Australia sounds terrifying. There's giant spiders, poisonous snakes, and koalas falling out of trees left right and center. No thanks.

But no, this time we're talking about kangaroos.

As an Aussie boy I can quite confidently say never fuck with a kangaroo. These mofo's are fierce and won't take shit from you. -infinityking1

This is a good one for literally every day of your life.

The people who handle your food. -GoingForwardIn2018

Look for spit before eating if you're going to be a jerk.

Talking to you, Aunt Becky. Stop complaining and just enjoy...

How about some transportation warnings?

Cars are scary, planes are scary, bikes are scary.

But what about trains?

They can weigh anywhere from a few hundred to tens of thousands of tons, they can hit speeds of 70 mph, or much faster if it's a high speed line, and it takes up to a mile for one to stop under emergency braking. You know, just pretend that they have no brakes at all, because all they'll do is soften the blow. Obey the flashing lights people. See Tracks, Think Train. -whatthefunk05

This next one is just... obvious.

Electricity -RadixLecti72 Can you maybe expand on that? No?

This story is... not fun.

Got to watch a guy catch an arc from a mains service bus. Caught on fire from the inside out. Was dead long before he stopped screaming. Nope is not a strong enough word. -snowfox222 I'm sorry, that can happen if you get electrocuted? Burned from the inside out is my newest phobia.

Anyone ever heard of thalassophobia?

And no, it's not a fear of something mysterious called a thalass.

It's a fear of the ocean.

Yup, Carlsbad CA did me dirty one summer. Guards kept moving everyone down the beach cause the rip was baaaaaaad. Both my best friend and I got tossed around and got our asses handed to us in knee deep water. I honestly thought I was going to drown that day. Couldn't tell which way was up, got my skull knocked into the ground, and completely lost the bottom half of my bathing suit. I was throwing up ocean water for half an hour. -ceruleancatt

Up next, we turn to music.

Because if there's one thing you shouldn't mess with, it's... sound?

Wutang clan

-ladyintexax Oh that makes much more sense.

This next one is a favorite of the President.

That's right, we're talking about the IRS. -red_carpet_hero

It can't be that bad, right?

Wasn’t it the IRS that got Al Capone and not the FBI? -kezzerb Oh... so it really is like that?

4 teeth...

I come from a high drug area and got out early. Recently meet up with some old friends I hadn't seen in 18 years... one girl had 4 teeth in total. She looked older than my mother. Her life... it was so bad. -squeaktoy_la

There are more stories too.

Instead of witches, my brother is scared of the government and thinks the FBI is watching him. His partner says she's woken to him multiple times at 3-4 am wearing various masks and walking around with a flashlight, illuminating the whole house in fear of a robot hiding in a corner or the FBI staking the front of his place. He also believes everyone is a clone and has at times accused me and my whole family of being cyborgs. He makes youtube videos where he splices a thousand different TV shows and movies together, audio and all, into one giant incoherent mishmash of just pure, scatter-brained insanity. Cops have had to show up multiple times to his place. Even kicked the door down one time when he barricaded himself in and was threatening to kill all the demons or something nuts. Been clean a few months now, and luckily he's had no signs of permanent damage to his brain. At least not that I can tell. The only real difference is he is obsessed with strange conspiracy theories. Still, I dread the day I wake up to a phone call from the local police telling me he's there and high off his ass. Every day it's in the back of my head that he'll be right back on the track that was rotting him. -Awwh_Dood

How about something slightly less depressing? Like a hornet's nest!

This comment was a journey. I have about three on the side of the house. I figure they need to go down somehow right? I have a pole that reaches them and I have a plan. I can't just let them keep building!! Edit: I took the pole to them this morning while they were sleepy. There's one large, one medium and about four small nests. I got the large one down, wacked it a bunch and ran back inside. 5 min later: went back out to wack it some more. Put on glasses. The ground was covered in hornet/wasps. Realized I am an unprepared fool and didn't have shoes on, ran inside. Update! Found the wasp spray!!! Sprayed them all. Will check on them this evening after work. Final update: I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I HATE THEM. -ZombieBoobies

This is my nightmare.


We had a hornet's nest one year and called an exterminator. The most terrifying thing was when he was killing them with whatever poison it was he used the suicidal angry things started to swarm him attacking him and tried to get into the house. The sound of them attacking the window trying to get into the house freaked the hell out of my wife. -Security_Man2k

Okay, how about something a little more... nightmarish?

As a chemist, I would never [mess] with dimethylmercury. -SkyFaerie

Uhhh.... what's that?

Its a mercury compound which is highly toxic. There is a story of this chemist who spilled like a drop on her gloved hand. A little seeped through her glove and she ended dying a slow and painful death. Her brain was practically melted away when it was all over. -SkyFaerie NOPE. No thanks, I'm good.

Nesting mama Canada geese.

-disgruntledgrumpkin That can't be that bad, right? I mean my sister was attacked by a goose when she was a kid, but that was pretty funny.

Wait, maybe I was wrong.

Cobra Chicken is the name of my new heavy metal band and you can't stop me.

I found the ultimate warning.

Exes. I've already made that mistake once, why would I do it again? -uhlad


I tried this with an ex after 6 years of being apart. I thought maybe they'd have matured and I figured I'd test the waters again to see if they've changed, had new goals and ambitions or just got it together in general. Instead, they just got so, so much worse and didn't grow up a bit from with the same toxic personality from when we last were together. Pass. Generally, it's pretty safe to assume once a romantic/sexual relationship is over, it's over. Take it reallllll slow if you try again. -Throwitawaynow187413

Yeah, people are the scariest of all.

Teenagers man, they scare me. -ray17771

The stories are ridiculous.

I was in the parking lot of the building I'm working in and some gang teenagers on bicycles started harassing my female colleague. So I did what any man would do, I protected her, but in return got a black eye. We had a self-defense seminar the entire day in the office. -Aexil

First of all, who talks like that?

"So I did what any man would do, I protected her." Okay, buddy.

They’ll make fun of you, but in an accurate way.

-2Old2BeADuckling That's just way too true. What things do you generally not mess with? Let us know in the comments are we'll share our worst stories.