Happy New Year! Have you made your resolutions yet? According to Statista over 50% of Americans make New Year resolutions. The most common resolution is to save more money. The next? Lose weight. Followed by having more sex, travel more, and read more books.
But how many of us actually keep those resolutions? Sure, it sounds great to say this will finally be the year you read a book a week, but around February 7th, when you've only gotten 47 pages into The Goldfinch and all the way through every episode of The Great British Baking Show (twice), it starts to seem maybe resolutions aren't all their cracked up to be.
And yet, year after year, we tell ourselves this is the year! We're going to be better people. More human-y and less sit-on-the-couch-and-consume-corn-chips-straight-from-the-bag-y.
We have to lie to ourselves, or we'd never get anything done. We have to believe, just a little, that this time we can turn it around. But who are we kidding? Here are some of the biggest lies we tell ourselves as shared by people on Twitter.
Oh yeah, for sure.
"I don't need to write this down, I'll remember it in the morning." 🙄 #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves #writerscommunity— Haylie Anne (On Hiatus) (@Haylie Anne (On Hiatus))1547043946.0
Every single day.
Im going to be productive today #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/bAYfqhOehQ— B R E N D A 💋 (@B R E N D A 💋)1547038884.0
It's just the one photo I don't like.And that one. And also that one. It's weird how every photo of me turns out so bad.
Tonight will finally be the night!
I’m going to bed early tonight #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— Dont Think So (@Dont Think So)1547038875.0
Same for cookies.
I’ll just have one glass of wine. #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/rZPHQ7eFMx— CK (@CK)1547039050.0
This is very, very true.
Totally going to change the mind of this person I'm arguing with on Twitter with my reasonable argument!… https://t.co/ldFcXDmp9r— not_twitty (@not_twitty)1547044369.0
Going back to sleep "for only a few minutes" is never a good idea.
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves 'I will wake up in 5 minutes' https://t.co/CRcJXCdV5y— Woolies Shopper (@Woolies Shopper)1547065814.0
Monday always seems so far away and manageable.
I’ll start my diet Monday #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/TIAFCoeMtq— B R E N D A 💋 (@B R E N D A 💋)1547038849.0
- Do not start my diet.
- Eat chips.
- Oh, wait I was starting a diet.
- Chips are healthy, right?
- I'll start next Monday.
Target is really putting us all on blast here.
I only need a basket. #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— Target (@Target)1547051537.0
Shout out to all the cool dads out there.
I'm a cool, hip dad... #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/WFbE6b3DFs— Brian Fitzsimmons (@Brian Fitzsimmons)1547039881.0
Raise your hand if you still own jeans from high school.
I'll fit into those jeans again. #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— Rachel VIII, Ratchet Queen of Quarantine (@Rachel VIII, Ratchet Queen of Quarantine)1547039625.0
After working for ten minutes:
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves I really deserve a day off. https://t.co/eJ5o5oRKqq— ✌Mark My Words🤘 (@✌Mark My Words🤘)1547040495.0
Buying books can seem like such a good idea.
I won't buy a new book until I've finished my to be read pile #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/ycAhInvPQv— Scholastic (@Scholastic)1547043851.0
Oh no, this is too real.
It's not me it's them...all of them #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— DavaStarr (@DavaStarr)1547039285.0
Oh yeah, definitely.
I'm never drinking that much again #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— ⱠØⱠ₳ 𝘽𝙧𝙧 ❄️ (@ⱠØⱠ₳ 𝘽𝙧𝙧 ❄️)1547038790.0
All of this.
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves -- This. Just this. https://t.co/i0aMkS5klV— Robin like the 🐦 (@Robin like the 🐦)1547038822.0
This also goes for "I'm not going to text first."
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves I’m not going to respond to that message 😈 @iCanHash ph https://t.co/YaGNcWP8Ix— 🎆 🎉 Claire 🍾🎆 (@🎆 🎉 Claire 🍾🎆)1547039196.0
No, actually everyone did.
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves Nobody saw that https://t.co/pzoGwtJzO3— Victor Alejandro (@Victor Alejandro)1547038889.0
Do I need four sweaters even though I'm going to Hawaii for three days?
I totally pack appropriately for weekend trips #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/jSHq57ejJK— Tiny D (@Tiny D)1547040022.0
You won't even believe how clean my house is going to be tomorrow.
I'll clean the house tomorrow #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— Billie (@Billie)1547038849.0
Yeah, right!Four hours later: Wow, I've been liking puppy videos on Instagram for four hours. Time to move on to kittens.
Lol, no he won't.But maybe!
You're basically the Barefoot Contessa.
My cooking is fine #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/nMShlUTD3l— Dan (@Dan)1547038830.0
It's rude to even suggest this.
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves Other people die, not me. I don't need to think about that. ☠️— Sr. Theresa Aletheia ☠️ (@Sr. Theresa Aletheia ☠️)1547043959.0
How hard could curling be, really?
"I could do that." #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves 🥌🏅 https://t.co/1FWvzRotAT— Curling Las Vegas (@Curling Las Vegas)1547075667.0
Inbox zero in unachievable.
I'm going to make it to Inbox Zero #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/HiBibRhX9q— HubSpot (@HubSpot)1547049465.0
Same goes for kids.
#TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves My dog is an angel https://t.co/AHMdBoFMgc— Paula Castro Barros (@Paula Castro Barros)1547051407.0
And my boss is a total sweetheart!
I love my job. #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves https://t.co/rHkegqGK30— Mini T (@Mini T)1547040814.0
Even if you leave late every day, you always think "somehow today I will get there faster."
I'm going to be to work on time #TheLiesWeAllTellOurselves— Big Waldizzle😎 (@Big Waldizzle😎)1547038847.0