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I think most of us over the age of 25 remember Glamour Shots — those “professional” studios in the mall that would let you use props and makeup to create the ultimate selfie before selfies were a thing (oh, the good old days).

The problem? They let you use props and makeup to create the ultimate selfie.

Although they had “professional” stylists to help you, it seems some of them were a little off their game when these people came waltzing in…

Do not look into her eyes.

crazyeyes

Via: Ellen TV

Birds everywhere are hiding in fear.

boa

Via: Ellen TV

Don't forget to flip up your collar.

redcollar

Via: Sexy People Blog

Even she looks confused as to what is going on.

confused

Via: Ellen TV

Uhh...be careful zipping that up.

boobzipper

Via: Sexy People Blog

Stylin' and profilin'.

kidglasses

Via:  Imgur

The iridescent dress really brings out the iridescent eye shadow.

silkgloves

Via: Click Orlando

Grannies Gone Wild.

handcuffs

Via: Sexy People Blog

When your hair can't fit in the picture, it might be time to reassess.

blondecurl

Via: Tumblr

Look into my eyes...

purplegloves

Via: Sexy People Blog

It's like Barney exploded all over this one.

purpleboa

Via: Sexy People Blog

Pleather, for the win! Or the loss, actually.

leathershoulder

Via: Blogspot

Make sure to sweep your hair to the side...

blueboa

Via: Ellen TV

Smoking!

gun

Via: Tumblr

Two heads are not greater than one.

doubleteal

Via: Ellen TV

Her gloves match her roots...So fancy!

blackgloves

Via: Sexy People Blog

So. Much. Shine.

redboa

Via: Ellen TV

Don't get your feathers caught in your braces.

braces

Via: Sexy People Blog

Good thing this was before Beanie Babies. She would have gone NUTS.

bear

Via: Photobucket

The fumes from her hairspray are making her drowsy.

redbadperm

Via: Smosh

Yee-haw!

cowboyhat

Via: Ellen TV

The family that uses laser backgrounds together, stays together.

laserfam

Via: Smosh

Like a purple rhinestone cowgirl...

purplerhinestone

Via: Children of the Nineties

Literally clutching her pearls.

pearls

Via: Ellen TV

I really hope she's wearing more than pearls.

nakedpearl

Via: Ellen TV

Keeping it close to the vest.

kidvest

Via: Children of the Nineties

The lost Golden Girl.

granny

Via: Photobucket

Ahoy, Matey!

sailorhat

Via: Ellen TV

Good luck getting through metal detectors.

belts

Via: Ellen TV

Bow tie, sequins, gloves — this gal has it all.

bowtie

Via: Sexy People Blog

You're never too old to make bad decisions.

bluegranny

Via: Tumblr

You're a star, doll. A star!

childstar

Via: Imgur

There's nothing that I can say.

bluegold

Via: Ellen TV

Now give us your best, "Who, me?" pose...

rednails

Via: Ellen TV

So much hair...and a sloth.

sloth

Via: Imgur

Then again, it was the '90s. I guess that anything goes.