Ridiculous baby names are nothing new.
Sure, they get more ludicrous with each passing year. But it wasn't until the dawning of the of the age of the hipster that historically respected lines were crossed, and societal rules that are not meant to be broken were tossed into the compost like yesterday's avocado chia toast.
Suddenly, it seems as though our generation's parents are intentionally choosing awful baby names.
Look, we get it. You're cutting edge. You don't care about silly things like mowing your lawn or established social norms. You don't have a care in the world.
Except, it sort of seems like you actually care a lot. And while we are all for that whole "to each his own ridiculous baby name" thing, we're kind of over having to hear them spoken aloud.
So let's call a spade a spade and a ridiculous baby name a ridiculous baby name.
If you're pregnant or are considering having children at any point in the future, do our generation a great service and don't name your precious baby one of these crap names.
Spare your children, family, friends, strangers, pets, ancestors and all future generations of your impudence and just go with "John" or "Sarah." It's really not that complicated.
Here are 25 ridiculous baby names that our generation will never forgive hipster parents for... And their kids probably won't either.
ChiaSeeds are not trends. They are seeds. They've been around for millions of years and our generation certainly didn't create them nor make them "hip."
ZenWe're talking about your child here, not your morning meditation mantra. But if you happen to find your "zen" by pissing other people off, this is a perfect hipster name for your baby.
TriggerLet's get this straight. So, you absolutely categorically hate guns, but somehow like triggers? Oh, okay, we get it. It's because you're so ironic. This explains why "Zen" and "Trigger" make perfect sibling names!
InstaWhile we're sure your child's face will grace the Instagram feeds of many hipsters, there is no need for you to brand your baby after an app. Come on, people, we're better than this.
But if you insist on naming your precious baby after a social media platform then don't stop at "Insta." You might as well use "Graham" as their middle name. But, of course, you wouldn't dare spell it correctly. Maybe try "Graeme" or, even better, "Gray-ham."
SoyIt's time for a family unicycle ride! Gather the kids! "Soy, Tofu, Matcha, Sushi, and Moonshine, get your hip little butts in the Prius, pronto!"
KaleOh yes, please, let's continue with the trendy food hipster baby names. It pains me to admit this, but I actually have a friend who named her son "Kale." It's seriously caused me to lose my Zen so much that I could seriously pull just the Trigger and Kale myself over it.
Rustic"simple, homely, unsophisticated, rough, rude, and crude," then I suppose you're on the right track.
ArrowJust to prove that I'm not actually making these ridiculous baby names up, I will confess to knowing yet another hipster. (I live in Los Angeles, people, they are virtually impossible to avoid). Her kid's names? Fox and Arrow. Yep. And just in case you hoped this hipster baby name example is an anomaly, I have a neighbor with a baby named "Arrow," also.
Other hipster baby names of friends that, apparently, I have no desire to keep... Clementine, Ruby, Stella, Clark, Hunter, Willow, several Masons, and do I really need to continue? Well, guess I just cleaned up my Facebook friends, so check that off my to-do list.