31 hours after after Babe magazine released an account of a 23-year-old photographer's horrifying date with Aziz Ansari, the Master of None star is finally addressing the allegations.
Grace, the woman named in the piece, met Ansari at the 2017 Emmy Awards after-party. After bonding over their use of film cameras instead of digital ones, Ansari asked Grace out on a date.
That's when things went sideways.
"I think of all the times I said yes when I meant no..." - @marisajbate on Aziz Ansari and the sad familiarity of t… https://t.co/7Tv1R3JsHS— The Pool (@The Pool)1516039501.0
I saw someone tweet something like “if what Aziz Ansari did was sexual assault then every woman I know has been sex… https://t.co/a4NZn3odfk— Arnesa Buljušmić-Kustura (@Arnesa Buljušmić-Kustura)1516029607.0
This is the text Grace* sent Aziz Ansari after their date which left her feeling “violated”. She tells Ansari how u… https://t.co/5NICo8OhgP— babe (@babe)1515940919.0
Hey Aziz Ansari defenders, saying 'no' is more complex than you think https://t.co/Ei83YPBP80 https://t.co/EnYj4Dcjvz— 💡DENKYUU MEDIA💡 (@💡DENKYUU MEDIA💡)1516023726.0
In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual. The next day, I got a text from her saying that although ‘it may have seemed okay,’ upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said. I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue.
That Aziz Ansari piece isn't surprising to me but it is difficult and heartbreaking because I've been there, many t… https://t.co/9Ik8K0jIXD— Femmefeministe (@Femmefeministe)1515950461.0
I didn’t leave because I think I was stunned and shocked. This was not what I expected. I’d seen some of his shows and read excerpts from his book and I was not expecting a bad night at all, much less a violating night and a painful one."
I was in a situation similar to this aziz ansari thing just a couple weeks ago actually, sans the sex acts. I left… https://t.co/yMtvma7KgK— Pre-rich bitch! (@Pre-rich bitch!)1516031676.0
Aziz knew better than to pressure someone, force himself on her, when she said no. Repeatedly. Franco knew better than to shove that girls face in his crotch. Maybe you are mad bc you have done this to a woman. Maybe you are mad bc this has happened to you, and you thought 'NBD"— Katy Stoll (@katystoll) January 15, 2018
If it's frowned upon to force people to drink tea when they don't want to drink tea, then ditto sticking your fingers in somebody's mouth and other parts of you into another person.
Have you seen this video about tea and consent? Those defending him should watch it. It fact, everyone should watch it and share it.https://t.co/BoapscGAzw— J D Burroughs (@_JDBurroughs_) January 15, 2018
A few people have asked me about the Aziz Ansari thing & "grey areas" and...nope. Let's use the tea analogy, shall we?In the situation described by Grace, he didn't ask her if she wanted tea. He just made it & put the cup of tea in her hand. She put it down. 1/4 — Emmeline May AKA Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess (@RStarDinoPirate) January 15, 2018
He pushed it back into her hand. She put it down again. He kept picking it up and putting it back in her hand. 2/4— Emmeline May AKA Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess (@RStarDinoPirate) January 15, 2018
Even after she was clear that his behaviour was making her feel resentful, like she was being forced to drink it, he carried on picking up that cup of tea and forcing it back into her hand. 3/4— Emmeline May AKA Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess (@RStarDinoPirate) January 15, 2018
The problem was not that Ansari wanted sex, it's that he felt entitled to it, and he kept pushing even when Grace said no.
That would be weird, right? If someone did that to you with tea?Of course it would be weird. Because it would be pretty clear she didn't want to drink the tea. Whether it's tea or sex, consent is everything. And it's not flipping hard. 4/4 — Emmeline May AKA Rockstar Dinosaur Pirate Princess (@RStarDinoPirate) January 15, 2018
something I'm realising through the Aziz Ansari business is that it seems many men sort of expect women to go throu… https://t.co/17jlPqPOnE— hot librarian (@hot librarian)1516015615.0
A lot of men will read that post about Aziz Ansari and see an everyday, reasonable sexual interaction. But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.