After its resounding success in the UK, Celebrity Big Brother is debuting for the first time ever on our CBS shores February 7th. And the lineup looks just as awesomely craptastic as we’d hoped! America, you’re welcome.
Let’s check out the roster of D-list contestants who will be battling it out on network television for three weeks in a stinky house with creepy cameras.
From reality TV to the White House, and back to reality TV again. It’s a full circle moment, people! Omarosa was one of the original breakout stars of Trump’s Apprentice, competing three times on the series. She later turned her villainous fame into a political career (of sorts) before hearing the famous words from her boss again: YOU’RE FIRED!
CBB Prediction: Omarosa will use her inside information on Trump to leverage power within the group. Also, she will be a total frigging nightmare.
There must be some sort of nefarious Apprentice-to-Big Brother pipeline, because reality TV veteran and Sugar Ray front man Mark is also on the docket. Besides playing his band’s greatest 90s hits on the occasional tour, Mark has also signed up for multiple reality shows over the years, including Celebrity Wife Swap and American Idol as a guest judge.
CBB Prediction: Mark knows how to play the reality TV game, and will use his boyish charm and nostalgic fame to build an early alliance among the younger whippersnappers.
Speaking of the 90s – it’s American Pie’s stripping hottie turned endangered animal advocate, Shannon Elizabeth. Again, she’s no stranger to reality TV, having competed on Dancing With The Stars (like nearly every other person on this list) before signing on to CBB.
CBB Prediction: Shannon is a wild card because no one – let’s repeat that, NO ONE – has really seen this chick in ages. She can play up her persona any way she wants to, which could lead to a huge payday, an early fizzle, or an epic disaster.
This former NBA star is known for his part in public brawls and controversy. Remembered for his NBA titles as much as his part in the “Malice at the Palace” Detroit melee between fans and players, Metta will be bringing the drama without question.
CBB Prediction: Although he didn’t start any scraps during his time on Dancing With The Stars, we’re hoping Metta pops off on someone in the BB house, even if it’s the camera crew. Everyone into the pit! World peace be damned!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum already knows what it’s like to cut a bitch on camera, talk shit about her costars, and provide drunken interview commentary for daaaaaaayyyyyyssss. Brandi also has a leg up on her housemates, having competed on UK’s Celebrity Big Brother last year.
CBB Prediction: 1) Brandi will kill Omarosa. OR 2) Omarosa will kill Brandi. OR 3) Brandi and Omarosa will team up to kill literally everyone else in their sleep.
Former boy band member and Nickelodeon star of Big Time Rush, James is making the reality TV competition show circuit. From Dancing With The Stars to CBB, this guy’s just trying to make a dollar out of 50 cents. So…good for him? I guess?
CBB Prediction: Mark McGrath will take James under his wing, then the young Jedi will become the master when he eventually turns to the dark side to vote Mark out. You heard it here first.
Uh-oh. Most of us remember Keisha as cute little “Rudy” from The Cosby Show, but if you’ve been keeping up ion D-list celebrity gossip lately (or as we call it, the news), Keisha has been embroiled in a nasty custody fight with her baby daddy, who she may or may not have stolen from another woman. And who may or may not actually be the daddy of her baby. Oh, Rudy. What happened to you, girl?
CBB Prediction: Everyone will look at little Rudy and say “awwwwww!” Then they’ll figure out she’s all growed up – plus a little bit cray cray – and whisper “H-E-L-P M-E!” into the closest night vision camera.
She starred in Hairspray on Broadway, then sunk to the level of competing on Dancing With The Stars. Now she’s going to sleep on a twin bed for three weeks in the Celebrity Big Brother House. Oh, how the legitimately talented have fallen!
CBB Prediction: Marissa competed with Shannon Elizabeth on the same season of DWTS, so they’ll either be instant allies or instant enemies depending on their shared reality TV history.
She’s gorgeous, she’s Colombian, and she’s probably still planning Steve Harvey’s murder for mistakenly announcing her as the 2015 winner of Miss Universe. Now she’s back for revenge!
CBB Prediction: People will either hate her because she’s beautiful, or sympathize with her because Steve did her dirty. Because that YouTube clip will never get old. (Yes, I still watch it. Don’t judge me.)
Another Dancing With The Stars leftover, Chuck is more about using his fists and roundhouse kicks than his brain, but he may be one to watch. Are we underestimating his alliance building powers? Maybe. But if he can’t play the mental game, then he can always just choke someone out.
CBB Prediction: Chuck seems like the meat head with a heart of gold. But he’ll definitely need to team up with a nerd to make the magic happen.
Squeeeeeeeee! Ross rounding out the cast makes for a giddy addition. From interning on The Tonight Show to delightfully snarking on the fabulous queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ross won his way into our hearts with his high pitched giggling and on-point shade. Plus, he knows how to dress. So at least one house mate won’t be wearing sweatpants 24/7.
CBB Prediction: Ross will stick around for the long haul. He can team up with the catty bitches just as well as the roided-out bros. He’s my pick for top two. GO ROSS!