In the O. Henry story "The Gift of the Magi," a husband buys his wife a beautiful hairbrush for Christmas, but he has to sell his watch to get it. Now, if his wife knew about her Christmas gift a little bit earlier, she would have been stoked. But unfortunately, as these things so often go, that husband gave his wife her gift after she'd sold her hair to buy him a chain for his pocket watch.
The point is, sometimes you get good news too late, and it actually turns into bad news. Today, we got some news like that. If we would have found out three or four years ago, in the middle of Game of Thrones' third season, that its show-runners, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, would be making a Star Wars trilogy, we would have equally stoked.
But now, with Game of Thrones in the rotten state that it's in (many fans are saying it's, well, it's just plain awful) this news is hitting with a big ol' thud.
Is there any way a Star Wars movie from the Game of Thrones dudes could actually turn out okay? Well, maybe...
We're in the homestretch of Game of Thrones' final season.Since 2011, we've spent between six and 10 Sundays a year following the political machinations of the Great Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and, uh... what was the name of the other big family? The one that had the king at the beginning? Stannis? Was it House Stannis? This show has too many characters.
The show's creators, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, are bringing it in for a landing.As the public facing creatives behind the Game of Thrones TV show (not to be confused with George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, upon which the show is based), David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have taken both the credit and the blame for the show's triumphs and missteps.
And while we've all loved this show for so long...Who could forget Game of Thrones' the best moments? The time Daenerys freed the Unsullied. The time Arya stole the face of a Frey and murdered Lord Walder. The time we got to see Hodor's dick. Such great memories.
... the entire internet seems to be completely over it this season.Ever since last season, Game of Thrones has been asking us to swallow some pretty tough pills. After Arya and the Hound spent two entire seasons traveling from King's Landing to Essos, we were supposed to believe that Daenerys brought her forces beyond the Wall in an hour and a half?
Characters are making big, wild changes...And speaking of Daenerys, she burned all of King's Landing to the ground last week. That's right, the Breaker of Chains freed her new subjects from tyranny... and then burned them down. You know what they say: out of the frying pan, into the dragon fire.
... with little to no motivation.And that's not to say that's an inherently bad storytelling choice! Dany going full-on villain is rad as hell. But maybe we could have seen her inch up to the line of evil a little bit? I'm not convinced that burning the Tarlys was evidence that she was on the path to becoming the Mad Queen any earlier than two episodes ago.
But there's only one episode of Game of Thrones left. Maybe they'll make a save at the one-yard line?Maybe we'll find out Bran was time-traveling and warging into Dany? Would-- would that be cool? I don't know guys, I'm trying here. Can you think of something that would save Game of Thrones at this point? I am coming up blank.
In any event, Benioff and Weiss are about to become free agents.Whether we're satisfied or not, Game of Thrones will be over next week. That means Benioff and Weiss will have to find something new to fill their time.
And as Game of Thrones wraps up, another epic story is nearing its conclusion as well.That's right, the original Star Wars story, which began with A New Hope, will end this winter. That means a story that started all the way back in 1977 will finally reach its grand conclusion. (I sure hope they wrap up the Ewok's storyline!)
Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker will end the epic tale of the Skywalker family.It's all been building to this. Okay, not really. The new trilogy has really been three different movies made by two different writer/ directors. Whatever Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams had planned was wiped away by Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson, so who know what J.J. is going to do now that he's back for Episode IX.
(Also, we're not sure why the Skywalkers are rising on their way out.)Luke's storyline definitively wrapped up in The Last Jedi (he was the titular last Jedi), and that film also confirmed that Rey is not a secret Skywalker baby. So if a Skywalker's going to rise, it'll have to be a retconned Rey or Kylo Ren, who is technically a Skywalker but whose last name is actually Solo? Honestly, neither choice is great!
And since it's not like Disney is going to stop making Star Wars movies...Based on toy sales alone, my calculations show Disney makes roughly one hundred billion trillion jillion dollars per Star Wars movie they release. (That's in US dollars, of course.)
... Our boys Benioff and Weiss will be handing the first post-Rise of Skywalker Star Wars movie.Well, at least in a Star Wars movie, Benioff and Weiss will have an in-universe reason to have their characters travel at light-speed.
Set for 2022, Disney just announced that Benioff and Weiss' Star Wars film will start a new trilogy.That means there will be about a three-year break between their trilogy and Rise of Skywalker. So that's good. Should give you some time to get caught up on emails and the like.
Now, director Rian Johnson is also working on a Star Wars trilogy.After writing and directing 2017's spectacular The Last Jedi, Disney said Rian Johnson would helm a series of Star Wars films of his own.
But Benioff and Weiss' movies are cutting in line.We've known Benioff and Weiss were getting a Star Wars trilogy since last year, but that news broke well after Johnson had turned in The Last Jedi and his trilogy was announced.
And that's unfair. The Last Jedi rules.No Star Wars movie since The Empire Strikes Back has had something as interesting to say as The Last Jedi. It was a movie about heroes and inspiration and what it means to be, or to see your self as, important. It was beautiful and I want more Star Wars movies like it.
Plus, Johnson's previous films, like Looper...It's about a time-traveler who has to go back in time and kill himself!
... are roughly 10000 times better than this season of Game of Thrones.It's about a time-traveler who has to... well, it's not very clear, actually.
All that said, there is hope for the Benioff/ Weiss Star Wars.
my hot take is that star wars fans love to hate the bad movies almost as much as they love the good movies, so what… https://t.co/MJVgqabKsO— Bobby Lewis (@Bobby Lewis)1557848257.0
First of all, adapting books as sprawling as George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire is hard.If you glance at any nerd's bookshelf, the Song of Ice and Fire books are probably what will stick out the most, simply because each entry is so wildly, incredibly thick.
And writing an ending for them is even harder.George R.R. Martin can't even end these books, and he's been trying since before the show even began. (Personally, I blame Dorne. You know that guy is spending most of his time writing about all the goofballs down in Dorne.)
You have to imagine Benioff and Weiss didn't know they would be wrapping up the series without Martin's words to guide them.When they signed on to run Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin was about to release "A Dance With Dragons," the fifth book in the series. Like a college sophomore who's told about their final paper on the first day of class, I'm sure he thought he had plenty of time to finish before it was due. That left Benioff and Weiss without the roadmap they were accustomed to having in the first four or five seasons.
(Although I do want to point out, The Leftover got so so so
But maybe Benioff and Weiss will have more success starting a story from scratch?When you're adapting someone else's material, certain choices are taken out of your hands. Benioff and Weiss had to include Bran and direwolves and Night Kings, even though there are many moments in the show when it felt like they were embarrassed to be writing a show about magic.
And the Star Wars universe is definitely simpler than the Game of Thrones universe.When a new location is introduced in Game of Thrones — take, say, Dorne — they have to discuss its culture; its relationship to the Throne; its history; its current rulers; its former rulers; its line of succession; its people; its food; its wine; its morals. In Star Wars, when you introduce a new planet, it's just, like, "ice planet."
Although, both Star Wars and Game of Thrones fumbled their biggest characters' heel turns...
So Daenerys is basically Darth Vader #GameofThrones https://t.co/M3dTL9NsCu— Rachel (@Rachel)1557723729.0
... and both Star Wars and Game of Thrones have short, wise characters whiffing on big events they should've seen coming...
For the record: Yoda could kick Tyrion's ass. Discuss amongst yourselves. #StarWars vs. #GameOfThrones— matt539 ☭ (@matt539 ☭)1491072715.0
... and both Star Wars and Game of Thrones have whiny heroes up in front who are more lucky than skilled.
Ned Stark: I'm calling this kid Jon Snow because Aegon Targaryen is dangerously, insanely obvious Owen and Beru Lars: Luke Skywalker is it— Eleven-ThirtyEight (@Eleven-ThirtyEight)1504116415.0