Everyone has a secret that they’d be absolutely mortified if it ever got out. A gross habit that they can’t seem to break, a fascination with someone totally creepy, or even a lie that they’ve been telling their friends and family members for years that isn’t even close to being the truth. Most of these secrets are relatively harmless, and wouldn’t be that big of a deal if they became common knowledge. But what about those huge, earth-shattering, monumental secrets that could completely change a person’s entire life for the worse should they ever be made public? In one of the most popular Reddit threads of all time, users were asked to confess their deepest, darkest secrets. And some are pretty darn dark.
So, if you dare, read these totally bizarre, sometimes sad, occasionally hilarious and always shocking confessions from people just like you. In fact, one of these might even be from someone you know.
This deceitful husband
This guy’s entire relationship is based upon deceit and manipulation.
I’m sure they have a strong, healthy marriage!
This disgusting decision
This post leaves so many questions unanswered.
Why was there a hole in the wall in the bathroom?
Why didn’t this person choose the nearby toilet as a disposal method instead of a hole in the wall?
Why do I feel like I need to take an immediate shower after reading this?
(I suppose that one’s pretty obvious…)
This secret roommate
This post is straight out of a horror movie.
This is also why it’s so important to thoroughly check your home for squatters before moving in.
This life of lies
The weight of this constant deceit has to feel insurmountable.
It stresses me out just thinking about it.
Even going so far as to fake transcripts?
How would you ever dig yourself out from underneath these lies?
This strange choice
First of all, it’s pretty impressive that this person was able to somehow convince an optometrist of being colorblind.
Sure, being colorblind in third grade probably seems pretty cool, but continuing the lie into adulthood?
What’s the point?
This artificial Aussie
Is it just me, or does this sound like something that would happen in a hilarious romantic comedy?
Although I’m sure, in real life, it’s much less funny.
Kudos to him for perfecting a fake Australian accent, though.
This mini felon
I know steamrollers look like a lot of fun, but do not, I repeat, DO NOT take one out for a joy ride.
Nothing good can come from it.
This horrible friend
You know what?
Your friends SHOULD shun you because this is absolutely despicable.
This awful son
I….honestly have no words.
This cruel Catfisher
This is downright cold-blooded.
And to not feel an ounce of remorse for basically ruining someone’s life?
If I were in this situation, I’d like to think I’d take my rage out on my cheating boyfriend and not the person he cheated on me with.
But maybe that’s just me.
This repulsive habit
I severely wish I had not read this post while eating lunch…
The sad thing is, more people probably do this regularly than you can even imagine.
This A student
Okay, so I get that this is a terrible way to get through school. You learn nothing and you’re stealing someone else’s hard work.
But as someone who was forced to write roughly 5 million essays throughout college, I can’t help but be a tad envious of this skill.
“Lit a tree on fire for kicks.” Who hasn’t done that?!
Hopefully most people.
This cat person
This is a pretty terrible reason to stay with someone for over four years.
That cat must be pretty darn fantastic.
And as a dog person, I just can’t see that happening.
This sneaky pooper
This story went from gross to terrible to even more terrible.
Also, it’s not like this person was a kid when this happened.
They were 15.
There’s no excuse for public deification at this point.
This memory wipe
I’m not sure why this person thought this secret would ruin their life if it ever got out, but this sounds like a terrifying predicament.
Not knowing which memories are real and which are purely manufactured by your own imagination would be extremely unsettling.
This horrifying act
No no no no no no no no.
These sizable nipples
I understand why this person would be self-conscious about this aspect of his body, but everyone has something that they’re not confident about.
I’m sure he’d be able to find someone out there who can accept something like having enormous nipples without even batting an eye.
This guilty lottery winner
Are we supposed to feel sorry for this guy since he’s constantly “haunted” by his rather measly youthful indiscretion?
Because, seeing as he’s a lottery winner and current Engineer, I do not.
This insecure boyfriend
The fact that so many people feel like they have the right to read their significant other’s personal information without their knowledge is disturbing.
This guy clearly needs to knock it off and have an honest conversation with his girlfriend, for once.
This bitter sister
There’s nothing quite like sisterly love, right?
Oh, and let’s not forget that this was all over something “forgotten.”
This foot fetishist
Look, everyone has their kinks.
No judgement here.
But feet are gross and that’s an absolute fact.
This red face
I have to say, I chuckled to myself when I read the part about a TSA agent holding up his tube of foundation and publicly shaming him.
It’s just not going to happen, dude.
Also, more guys wear makeup than you probably realize.
This terrible neighbor
This is just plain wrong on so many levels.
And he’s somehow totally unbothered by sitting in a rocking chair that a man died in.
Why would you even want it? Or the food that was in his apartment, for that matter?!
This cancer-free con artist
Here’s hoping that when this person “started over” with new friends he dropped the whole fake-cancer bit.
Because that’s something that you really, really shouldn’t lie about.
These slick card tricks
Granted, this person is taking advantage of his trusting friends by stealing from them, but I can’t help but put some of the blame on the friends themselves.
How many times do you have to lose $100 before you realize you’re getting scammed?
This lying ladies’ man
This man is horrible and should come clean immediately, but part of me also wants to see what would happen if he just secretly planned a wedding with both of these women on the same day at the same venue without their knowledge.
Think of the drama!
This bizarre behavior
This post is one of the greatest mysteries the internet has ever seen.
While I demand more information, I also kind of like how much it leaves to your imagination.
This oddly specific infatuation
This just seems messy and dangerous. Is there really a man alive who can pee into a plastic bottle while driving?
Also, why do you have to bring littering into it?
This egregious act
There’s just no excuse for this behavior.
Pardon me while I go throw up from disgust.